First things first : I have made it to IIMC, and am looking forward to the next two years. And I guess it shall also spell the end of a long relationship with IIT Delhi. But thats later; for now, another Political Season at IITD ends. A season of hopes, disappointments, enlightenment and disillusionments. Observing the entire scene from the outside is even more fun, than being a part of the whole exercise. One of the lowest (or highest!!!) points of my stay in IITD came when I was nominated for the "Poltu of the Batch" award. I did lose (thankfully) but I guess the time is right to set the record straight. This is my interpretation of the things that happened. Might or might not be true. And please don't get sentimental about it, even though I would not mind some mud-slinging (It ensures more visitors:)). And don't complain about me whining. I am just telling you about how very "naive" I was.
Year 1: March 2002: My interaction with Politics for the first time came when a meeting of the entire year was convened by the "Elite" group of our batch. (This was a group of people, who while dedicated wholeheartedly to the hostel, also felt that the hostel was their keep). The meeting was convened for making plans for getting trophies for the hostel, but the hidden agenda was also to achieve a consensus on the reps, wherein the Elite Group hoped to use its superior persuasion powers to get the more debatable posts. I was also one of the speakers in the meeting, with my one focus on becoming the EDLC rep, because I truly felt I deserved it. (I was not a part of the group though, but they probably thought they could not ignore my contribution over the past year). There were four of us who had worked hard in the EDLC/QC clubs, and just three posts. Three of us were in one wing, so we decided to split the spoils between us. The fourth member, who since then has become a very key friend, did not interact much with the batch as such, and so we were able to convince him somehow. So I became the EDLC rep. There was fight over the FAC and FSC clubs, where the Elite group members were harking on posts, but we still came to some sort of consensus. I was satisfied by the outcome of the meeting. We had made various committees to work on various clubs, and I had achieved what I thought I "deserved. But our fourth year seniors had something else in mind, and an entire batch elections were called hurriedly one night. Elections were held for almost every post among people who had worked for a particular club, and I ended up "losing" the EDLC repship. The fourth member became the new EDLC rep, while I felt cheated, after having had a good rapport with everyone in the batch, having been elected as the BSP English Rep. I thought it to be the end of the world (Caution : It was not, and nothing ever is). There were two candidates standing for the post of the House Secretary, one clearly preferred by the Outgoing seats of power over the other. So we knew where to vote, and he became the new House Secretary in one of the most one sided elections in history.
I had no idea about what happens in the external elections and on the day of the external elections, was told that I was going to be nominated for the BSP English Editor. I felt happy (finally something!!) but just before going inside to vote, I was told (by the powers that are) that I was supposed to vote for someone else, and that they were sorry ("Its not a big post, you know." and all such justifications). I went inside, did my duty for the hostel, but somehow, the information was not dissipated among all the newly elected representatives, and while not voting for myself, I found myself elected. Big cheers!! I thought that I had committed some horrible crime, but then, it was no big deal. The scene at SAC was as it is every year: lots of people, most of them with no idea about things. And I was one of them, when came the news that Kara had won the SAC elections, but had lost the BSA GSecy election by one vote. But we made it up by winning the AIC elections within a month, and normalcy was restored. It was a scene of intense celebrations. Politics was treating me pretty well, but the only crutch came when I was NOT given the "Most Enthusiastic Fresher" Award. I thought I deserved it heads and shoulders above everyone else, but obviously, the powers to decide were not thinking the same way. Not that I havent gotten over it yet, but at that point of time it was pretty bad. And then we proceeded to the second year.
Saturday, April 08, 2006
Friday, April 07, 2006
An article written a year ago
(This is an article I wrote for the Campus magazine a year ago. Just felt like posting it here. )
As I write down this article, I realise that it is the 78th last day of my undergraduate study in IIT Delhi. It has been almost four years, since I, along with 500-odd others, realised my long-cherished dream of studying at IIT. The past four years have been a beautiful learning experience, and I don’t mean academics when I say learning. These four years have taught me, and I believe many of my batch mates, a lot about life itself.
The most important thing that IIT Delhi has taught me is that whatever you do in life is independent of what your GPA is at IIT. I have seen five point someones with no hands-on experience of software, go and work in Software Engineering. I have seen nine pointers going to IIMA and start off on a totally new career field. And there have also been cases where six pointers have managed to do PhD or MS in their respective departments. However, this does not mean that GPA is not important. Its importance cannot be over-emphasised. All I am saying is that a bad GPA is not the end of the world, and a good GPA does not necessarily entail a good technological career.
And what is GPA anyways? Does it anyhow show the true worth of a person as an engineer? I would reckon no. Even though my GPA gives a very fair idea about how much (rather, how little) I know about engineering, a sad trend is that a great number of people with GPA greater than 7 don’t know much more than I do. A lot of my ‘seven pointers and above’ friends feel that their stay in IIT Delhi has been a waste of their four years as well as the taxpayer’s money. This is a disturbing observation. If the best people in the best institute of the country don’t know much about engineering, then who does?
The biggest problem with academics at IIT Delhi is that people who come here through JEE want to leave the intense study hours behind them, and want to enjoy life to the fullest. They feel that their future is secured and that they can now do all that they had missed in their preparation for JEE. Hence studies take a backseat and this leads to the concept of fraud, whereby IITians become experts in eking out the maximum output from minimum input. Only a very low percentage of the students are actually interested in engineering. And not all of them are nine pointers. There are some who are very interested in only a particular field of their study, and get A’s in these courses, but do badly in the rest. They don’t have particularly good GPA’s but their GPA is not a true indicator of either their interest or their technological skills.
The other important issue is that of the people in here (B.Tech at least) studying only for their grades. This is again a very serious observation which leads to people not exactly “understanding” what they are doing, and just cramming up and pouring out on the examination day. There have been nine pointers who have had virtually forgotten everything they have written down on paper after coming back from major. These people have mastered the act of studying for maximum gains. The system encourages them, what with the grading system here not taking into account the actual performances of students in the classrooms. The most common line in our resume reads “The stay at IIT Delhi has helped improve my analytical skills.” I believe there cannot be a bigger lie. My analytical skills have actually come down since the day I came to IIT Delhi. It might be due to my own shortcomings, but when this is the case with the majority, I believe the system might be at fault.
There are people who do nothing else but study all day, and they have low GPA’s. They are very interested in the technical field, but somehow they don’t manage to show it in the grade sheet. BTP is an ideal case in point. The grade in your BTP does not depend on the amount of work you can do, but the amount of work you can show.
Just as they say, “Money attracts money” I would like to add, “GPA attracts GPA”. A good GPA betters your chances of getting a good grade. That is why it is easier to stay at the top than to get there.
However, a good GPA is a must for many reasons. One, it helps to get you short listed for companies during your job hunt. And more importantly, it prevents you from getting sleepless nights trying to find the answer to “Why do you have such a low GPA?” which they ask you if somehow you have been short listed.
My contention is that the system should be revised so as to ensure that only people who actually deserve to be at the pinnacle in this technology institute get there. The grading system should be modified and there should be regular counselling available for different levels of students, especially for the five pointers. The importance of a good GPA should be made clear to all incoming students and there should be regular performance quizzes for continuous evaluation. Maybe then IIT Delhi can actually become a great centre for technical learning, as was envisaged by its founders. But till then, GPA shall remain more a case of fraud than genuine interest and hardwork.
As I write down this article, I realise that it is the 78th last day of my undergraduate study in IIT Delhi. It has been almost four years, since I, along with 500-odd others, realised my long-cherished dream of studying at IIT. The past four years have been a beautiful learning experience, and I don’t mean academics when I say learning. These four years have taught me, and I believe many of my batch mates, a lot about life itself.
The most important thing that IIT Delhi has taught me is that whatever you do in life is independent of what your GPA is at IIT. I have seen five point someones with no hands-on experience of software, go and work in Software Engineering. I have seen nine pointers going to IIMA and start off on a totally new career field. And there have also been cases where six pointers have managed to do PhD or MS in their respective departments. However, this does not mean that GPA is not important. Its importance cannot be over-emphasised. All I am saying is that a bad GPA is not the end of the world, and a good GPA does not necessarily entail a good technological career.
And what is GPA anyways? Does it anyhow show the true worth of a person as an engineer? I would reckon no. Even though my GPA gives a very fair idea about how much (rather, how little) I know about engineering, a sad trend is that a great number of people with GPA greater than 7 don’t know much more than I do. A lot of my ‘seven pointers and above’ friends feel that their stay in IIT Delhi has been a waste of their four years as well as the taxpayer’s money. This is a disturbing observation. If the best people in the best institute of the country don’t know much about engineering, then who does?
The biggest problem with academics at IIT Delhi is that people who come here through JEE want to leave the intense study hours behind them, and want to enjoy life to the fullest. They feel that their future is secured and that they can now do all that they had missed in their preparation for JEE. Hence studies take a backseat and this leads to the concept of fraud, whereby IITians become experts in eking out the maximum output from minimum input. Only a very low percentage of the students are actually interested in engineering. And not all of them are nine pointers. There are some who are very interested in only a particular field of their study, and get A’s in these courses, but do badly in the rest. They don’t have particularly good GPA’s but their GPA is not a true indicator of either their interest or their technological skills.
The other important issue is that of the people in here (B.Tech at least) studying only for their grades. This is again a very serious observation which leads to people not exactly “understanding” what they are doing, and just cramming up and pouring out on the examination day. There have been nine pointers who have had virtually forgotten everything they have written down on paper after coming back from major. These people have mastered the act of studying for maximum gains. The system encourages them, what with the grading system here not taking into account the actual performances of students in the classrooms. The most common line in our resume reads “The stay at IIT Delhi has helped improve my analytical skills.” I believe there cannot be a bigger lie. My analytical skills have actually come down since the day I came to IIT Delhi. It might be due to my own shortcomings, but when this is the case with the majority, I believe the system might be at fault.
There are people who do nothing else but study all day, and they have low GPA’s. They are very interested in the technical field, but somehow they don’t manage to show it in the grade sheet. BTP is an ideal case in point. The grade in your BTP does not depend on the amount of work you can do, but the amount of work you can show.
Just as they say, “Money attracts money” I would like to add, “GPA attracts GPA”. A good GPA betters your chances of getting a good grade. That is why it is easier to stay at the top than to get there.
However, a good GPA is a must for many reasons. One, it helps to get you short listed for companies during your job hunt. And more importantly, it prevents you from getting sleepless nights trying to find the answer to “Why do you have such a low GPA?” which they ask you if somehow you have been short listed.
My contention is that the system should be revised so as to ensure that only people who actually deserve to be at the pinnacle in this technology institute get there. The grading system should be modified and there should be regular counselling available for different levels of students, especially for the five pointers. The importance of a good GPA should be made clear to all incoming students and there should be regular performance quizzes for continuous evaluation. Maybe then IIT Delhi can actually become a great centre for technical learning, as was envisaged by its founders. But till then, GPA shall remain more a case of fraud than genuine interest and hardwork.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
The Best Of times, the worst of times
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times " wrote Charles Dickens in his The Tale of Two Cities, referring to the French Revolution. It could also refer to the past week and a half, where I have moved from highs to lows pretty alarmingly. It has been pretty hectic, at times funny, and at others, frustrating.
Last weekend saw a friend dropping by from Bangalore, and it was great to have the original "losers" back doing what they did best: Nightouting at Nescafe. It was fun-filled, and all the gaps caused by the separation after passing out from IITD, seemed to have been filled, albeit temporarily. For those particular eight hours, though, nothing else seemed to matter, except for the fact that the six of us were together after a long long time, and probably for the last time as well. So it is perhaps fitting that the last memory remains such a happy one.
Sunday I saw "Being Cyrus", which has to be one of the darkest movies in Bollywood in recent times. The direction is brilliant, and while the movie is fast, it also manages to raise certain questions about existentialism. What is good and what is bad? Is the guy narrating the story necessarily the "good" guy? The movie is not an attempt at widespread cinema, despite an impressive starcast, but it would have been great to have Naseeruddin Shah, who is, arguably, the finest "actor" in India today, take more screen space. The hiterhto unheralded Manoj Pahwa, who plays the patriach of the Parsi family, has come up with a great performance, as has the talented Boman Irani. Its great to see Saif Ali Khan groom as an actor. The leading ladies, Dimple Kapadia and Simone Singh, have also played their part pretty well. A must watch, if you dont mind thinking while watching a movie.
The following week at office was probably the worst time at work in my ten months. This was the week before 31st March, which meant I had to submit loads of bills to save chunks of tax. And then there were different projects, one of which even made me spend One Night at a Call Centre. Well, not exactly one night, but six hours, and it was an unforgettable experience. And no, I dont mean that in a positive sense. It was cramping, and pretty bad. This, coupled with my desire to stop working (and start writing full time) built in plenty of frustration, which heightened on Friday Night. I felt friendless. I wanted to run away, to break free from the world. I felt like disappearing, closing my Orkut and Yahoo accounts and deleting this blog. Somehow, I hung on, and I am glad I did.
The next day was April Fools Day, and while there was noone to play tricks on, I invented small tricks people could play. "How about telling a girl you love her on that day?" was a question I asked almost everyone I met. It was foolish, but when sometimes you feel so terribly alone, its all you can think of. Like they say, an empty mind is the home of the devil. The day felt so bad. Then came the night, and then there was light.
An impromptu plan of going to Rishikesh and rafting was made. There were six of us, and we hired a cab, and were out on the road at 1230 a.m. Sunday morning. We reached Rishikesh by 7, and after freshning up at a hotel and a quick breakfast, were out on the raft by 10 in the morning. It was great rafting down the Ganga, through rapids named Three Blind Mice and Golf Course. Seemed like a scene from movies. It was thrilling, and adventurous. I almost sometimes missed paddling while in the rapids because of the strong current, but the others, and the coach, more than made up for me. It was awesome, and adventurous. And tiring. We covered the entire journey from Delhi to Delhi in little under 22 hours. It was an altogether new experience, and it came at just about the right time.
Just when I was again planning to give up on life, had life thrown me a lifeline. Yet again. And this time I plan to use it to the fullest. I am going to try extra hard to remain happy, for whatever reason. I just realised I have more than enough reasons to be happy, and my friends and family is not the least among them.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The trick of living life remains in prolonging the best and shortening the worst. That is the only way to live. It is all in the mind. You will be happy if you want to remain happy. There is just one key to feel happy. Let me say, when I am feeling low, just say "Let there be light." And then, let there be light.
Last weekend saw a friend dropping by from Bangalore, and it was great to have the original "losers" back doing what they did best: Nightouting at Nescafe. It was fun-filled, and all the gaps caused by the separation after passing out from IITD, seemed to have been filled, albeit temporarily. For those particular eight hours, though, nothing else seemed to matter, except for the fact that the six of us were together after a long long time, and probably for the last time as well. So it is perhaps fitting that the last memory remains such a happy one.
Sunday I saw "Being Cyrus", which has to be one of the darkest movies in Bollywood in recent times. The direction is brilliant, and while the movie is fast, it also manages to raise certain questions about existentialism. What is good and what is bad? Is the guy narrating the story necessarily the "good" guy? The movie is not an attempt at widespread cinema, despite an impressive starcast, but it would have been great to have Naseeruddin Shah, who is, arguably, the finest "actor" in India today, take more screen space. The hiterhto unheralded Manoj Pahwa, who plays the patriach of the Parsi family, has come up with a great performance, as has the talented Boman Irani. Its great to see Saif Ali Khan groom as an actor. The leading ladies, Dimple Kapadia and Simone Singh, have also played their part pretty well. A must watch, if you dont mind thinking while watching a movie.
The following week at office was probably the worst time at work in my ten months. This was the week before 31st March, which meant I had to submit loads of bills to save chunks of tax. And then there were different projects, one of which even made me spend One Night at a Call Centre. Well, not exactly one night, but six hours, and it was an unforgettable experience. And no, I dont mean that in a positive sense. It was cramping, and pretty bad. This, coupled with my desire to stop working (and start writing full time) built in plenty of frustration, which heightened on Friday Night. I felt friendless. I wanted to run away, to break free from the world. I felt like disappearing, closing my Orkut and Yahoo accounts and deleting this blog. Somehow, I hung on, and I am glad I did.
The next day was April Fools Day, and while there was noone to play tricks on, I invented small tricks people could play. "How about telling a girl you love her on that day?" was a question I asked almost everyone I met. It was foolish, but when sometimes you feel so terribly alone, its all you can think of. Like they say, an empty mind is the home of the devil. The day felt so bad. Then came the night, and then there was light.
An impromptu plan of going to Rishikesh and rafting was made. There were six of us, and we hired a cab, and were out on the road at 1230 a.m. Sunday morning. We reached Rishikesh by 7, and after freshning up at a hotel and a quick breakfast, were out on the raft by 10 in the morning. It was great rafting down the Ganga, through rapids named Three Blind Mice and Golf Course. Seemed like a scene from movies. It was thrilling, and adventurous. I almost sometimes missed paddling while in the rapids because of the strong current, but the others, and the coach, more than made up for me. It was awesome, and adventurous. And tiring. We covered the entire journey from Delhi to Delhi in little under 22 hours. It was an altogether new experience, and it came at just about the right time.
Just when I was again planning to give up on life, had life thrown me a lifeline. Yet again. And this time I plan to use it to the fullest. I am going to try extra hard to remain happy, for whatever reason. I just realised I have more than enough reasons to be happy, and my friends and family is not the least among them.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The trick of living life remains in prolonging the best and shortening the worst. That is the only way to live. It is all in the mind. You will be happy if you want to remain happy. There is just one key to feel happy. Let me say, when I am feeling low, just say "Let there be light." And then, let there be light.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Internal Conflicts
{A big thanks to Arnav, who woke me up in time for the IIMB interview, which otherwise I would have missed. And with it, missed an important lesson the interview taught).
I am finally over with all six of my interviews (five actually, I skipped I..isnt this a good line..I skipped I). Ideally, this should be a perfect time to relax. The mantra seems simple: sit back and wait for the results. Still a fortnight left till the R-day (Result Day). However, its easier said than done. These interviews have proved to be far more important to me than I thought they would. Especially the Bangalore one, in which the panellists quite explicitly told me that I wasnt meant for an MBA. And I kind of agreed. And they gave me a lot to think about, and I will be spending the next few days trying to analyse all that they said.
The IIMB interview started off again with a query on whether I was there earlier (I was, and the same panel member was there this time around as well). Then came the expected question about my GPA, which I think I handled pretty well. They also asked me about which business magazine I read, to which I honestly replied none. Then the question about passion (I had a strong sense of deja-vu) by the same professor who had asked it last year. And this time I was ready : writing, and NGO, which I also mentioned as my long time career-plans. And I also pretty much fit an MBA into those. Financial stability for pursuing a full-fledged writing career, and management training for running the NGO. Good, valid answers I think. And the person who had taken my interview last year seemed pretty much impressed with the transformation in me. Then the thunderbolt struck. For he then asked his colleague, a person with long, white beard (Seeing him reminded me of DNC, my course advisor for the first three years in IIT Delhi, who, after my first year, had advised me to run out of IIT Delhi and do something meaningful in life) if he wanted to assess me. And this is how he started. "You seem to be a bit confused about life, which is usual for your age. Is it true?" I said yes. Trying to be honest, they repeated continously. Then he started asking me arbit questions about Timbuktu and the source of the Nile, and I did not disappoint myself much there. He asked me about the battles of Panipat, and was quite surprised when I gave exactly the correct answers, and about where were the Ajanta-Ellora caves and the Chilka Lake. I knew it all. And then he asked me the location of the National Chemical Laboratory and the National Physical Laboratory, none of which I knew. Then came his most arbitary question "Where is Kocha Pody and why is it famous?" When I said I didnt know it, he said, "All I am trying to subtely tell you all along is that the kind of social general awareness that is needed for a management course is missing in you." And I was dumbfounded. What could I say? He went on to say, "You want to do noble things in life:writing and working with NGOs. These two things are directly opposite to what MBA preaches. If you follow an MBA now, you will lose passion for what you really want to do, and we as teachers dont want to do that. You have noble aspirations, join the London School of Journalism and follow your dream. Become Hari Kunzru, he is not an MBA. And he is earning money. Your heart does not call out for an MBA. You dont have to do an MBA just because your brother passed out from IIMA. (They actually repeated this line thrice the entire interview). Zubin has a different story. If you think that after a year or two, you still want an MBA, come back, otherwise follow your passion." And I believed him. My MBA dream lay in tatters, but I was happy by the time I got out. It was one of the best advises I had ever got from a teacher, up there with the "run away from IIT" advice (which, on hindsight, I should probably have followed). The complete advice then was this "IIT is not the place from you. You have cleared JEE, which means you have enough brains in you to earn money even if you get into politics. This place is not for people like you." How true words!
So well, by the time I came out of the IIMB interview, I was happy and sad. Happy because, for probably the first time in my life, I knew what I wanted to do. Sad because I was very sure that once more I had disappointed all those who wanted the best for me. And this is the internal conflict I am facing.
The main problem is that I am not a very good writer, which is something I want to follow whole-heartedly. On the other hand, I believe I have been god-gifted with a talent for numbers and am generally considered "bright", something that can really help me make a mark in Management. Without being too boastful, I think I do well in making a mark on people's lives as well, and all these attributes point to me having a successful career as an MBA graduate. In short, I think I can really be "successful" (as society defines successful) by doing an MBA course, something all my well-wishers want, and which will keep my parents and friends happy. On the other hand, it wont possibly keep me happy. I am not a very happy man, and like I was telling someone the other day, writing helps me put to rest all the frustrations I have. And these frustrations are not caused due to the job or anything else, but by the weight of people's expectations. I am trying so hard to meet them that I get frustrated at the end of it all. Or these bouts of frustrations are caused when I start expecting back from people, and those expectations are not met. Being a writer shall make me happy, and, being a person who does not neceesarily covet money, shall bring me fame. That is something which can help me in my plans for an NGO as well. It will be a lot more of hardwork being a writer than doing an MBA, but then things done with passion are that much easier to achieve. I have a living example in front of me, a man whom I have always looked up to him as being very brave and passionate. He did not take up a job and started taking dancing classes after his IITD degree. And today he has started climbing the ladder of success. To you, friend is dedicated this article, and my very slim hopes of becoming an author. I am not too sure if I can ever be that brave.
However, not being a good writer, I dont think I can be successful by following a writer career. And even though my parents dont depend on me for survival, I have some duties towards them, which by following a writing career, I will be neglecting. However, the original idea of going in for an MBA and then after going in for writing career, also seems to be impractical now, as the Professor was frank in saying. Knowing myself, I will agree. Working in an I Bank shall fuel in me a passion for more and more money, and I will lose this passion for writing. And neither will I be happy.
So then I face this internal conflict. Its probably a matter of counting chicken before they hatch, but do I do an MBA or not? There is a strong possibility of me not getting any call this year as well, but then, do I take CAT or GMAT next year? Or do I even continue with my job or do I start following my dream right away? Can somebody help me? If you can, please drop a comment. And please, try not to be anonymous.
I am finally over with all six of my interviews (five actually, I skipped I..isnt this a good line..I skipped I). Ideally, this should be a perfect time to relax. The mantra seems simple: sit back and wait for the results. Still a fortnight left till the R-day (Result Day). However, its easier said than done. These interviews have proved to be far more important to me than I thought they would. Especially the Bangalore one, in which the panellists quite explicitly told me that I wasnt meant for an MBA. And I kind of agreed. And they gave me a lot to think about, and I will be spending the next few days trying to analyse all that they said.
The IIMB interview started off again with a query on whether I was there earlier (I was, and the same panel member was there this time around as well). Then came the expected question about my GPA, which I think I handled pretty well. They also asked me about which business magazine I read, to which I honestly replied none. Then the question about passion (I had a strong sense of deja-vu) by the same professor who had asked it last year. And this time I was ready : writing, and NGO, which I also mentioned as my long time career-plans. And I also pretty much fit an MBA into those. Financial stability for pursuing a full-fledged writing career, and management training for running the NGO. Good, valid answers I think. And the person who had taken my interview last year seemed pretty much impressed with the transformation in me. Then the thunderbolt struck. For he then asked his colleague, a person with long, white beard (Seeing him reminded me of DNC, my course advisor for the first three years in IIT Delhi, who, after my first year, had advised me to run out of IIT Delhi and do something meaningful in life) if he wanted to assess me. And this is how he started. "You seem to be a bit confused about life, which is usual for your age. Is it true?" I said yes. Trying to be honest, they repeated continously. Then he started asking me arbit questions about Timbuktu and the source of the Nile, and I did not disappoint myself much there. He asked me about the battles of Panipat, and was quite surprised when I gave exactly the correct answers, and about where were the Ajanta-Ellora caves and the Chilka Lake. I knew it all. And then he asked me the location of the National Chemical Laboratory and the National Physical Laboratory, none of which I knew. Then came his most arbitary question "Where is Kocha Pody and why is it famous?" When I said I didnt know it, he said, "All I am trying to subtely tell you all along is that the kind of social general awareness that is needed for a management course is missing in you." And I was dumbfounded. What could I say? He went on to say, "You want to do noble things in life:writing and working with NGOs. These two things are directly opposite to what MBA preaches. If you follow an MBA now, you will lose passion for what you really want to do, and we as teachers dont want to do that. You have noble aspirations, join the London School of Journalism and follow your dream. Become Hari Kunzru, he is not an MBA. And he is earning money. Your heart does not call out for an MBA. You dont have to do an MBA just because your brother passed out from IIMA. (They actually repeated this line thrice the entire interview). Zubin has a different story. If you think that after a year or two, you still want an MBA, come back, otherwise follow your passion." And I believed him. My MBA dream lay in tatters, but I was happy by the time I got out. It was one of the best advises I had ever got from a teacher, up there with the "run away from IIT" advice (which, on hindsight, I should probably have followed). The complete advice then was this "IIT is not the place from you. You have cleared JEE, which means you have enough brains in you to earn money even if you get into politics. This place is not for people like you." How true words!
So well, by the time I came out of the IIMB interview, I was happy and sad. Happy because, for probably the first time in my life, I knew what I wanted to do. Sad because I was very sure that once more I had disappointed all those who wanted the best for me. And this is the internal conflict I am facing.
The main problem is that I am not a very good writer, which is something I want to follow whole-heartedly. On the other hand, I believe I have been god-gifted with a talent for numbers and am generally considered "bright", something that can really help me make a mark in Management. Without being too boastful, I think I do well in making a mark on people's lives as well, and all these attributes point to me having a successful career as an MBA graduate. In short, I think I can really be "successful" (as society defines successful) by doing an MBA course, something all my well-wishers want, and which will keep my parents and friends happy. On the other hand, it wont possibly keep me happy. I am not a very happy man, and like I was telling someone the other day, writing helps me put to rest all the frustrations I have. And these frustrations are not caused due to the job or anything else, but by the weight of people's expectations. I am trying so hard to meet them that I get frustrated at the end of it all. Or these bouts of frustrations are caused when I start expecting back from people, and those expectations are not met. Being a writer shall make me happy, and, being a person who does not neceesarily covet money, shall bring me fame. That is something which can help me in my plans for an NGO as well. It will be a lot more of hardwork being a writer than doing an MBA, but then things done with passion are that much easier to achieve. I have a living example in front of me, a man whom I have always looked up to him as being very brave and passionate. He did not take up a job and started taking dancing classes after his IITD degree. And today he has started climbing the ladder of success. To you, friend is dedicated this article, and my very slim hopes of becoming an author. I am not too sure if I can ever be that brave.
However, not being a good writer, I dont think I can be successful by following a writer career. And even though my parents dont depend on me for survival, I have some duties towards them, which by following a writing career, I will be neglecting. However, the original idea of going in for an MBA and then after going in for writing career, also seems to be impractical now, as the Professor was frank in saying. Knowing myself, I will agree. Working in an I Bank shall fuel in me a passion for more and more money, and I will lose this passion for writing. And neither will I be happy.
So then I face this internal conflict. Its probably a matter of counting chicken before they hatch, but do I do an MBA or not? There is a strong possibility of me not getting any call this year as well, but then, do I take CAT or GMAT next year? Or do I even continue with my job or do I start following my dream right away? Can somebody help me? If you can, please drop a comment. And please, try not to be anonymous.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
But Life goes on
(I think I will regret writing this post later, when my mood becomes better. But I guess that is not going to be the case for a long, long time, and am ready to live in this natural self of mine rather than go and chase imaginary happiness).
I just realised I have been chasing imaginary happiness. I am a really avid thinker, and so I feel happy at the thought of chasing happiness, and become sad when I cant catch it.
Tomorrow is my last IIM interview, that of IIMB, and probably the most important. You might say A and C were the more important ones, but seeing my GPA, coupled with the fact that I have screwed up my C interview, I fancy B more than I otherwise would have. But tonight, I suddenly feel as if I have had a malaria attack. I mean, I have all the symptoms normally associated with one. My head is aching like hell, I feel cold in this hot weather, and my body temperature can burn this entire place down.
And, worst of the lot, I actually like falling sick, just before one of the most important tests of my career. Probably because it will give me a chance to explain as to how did I fail again in clearing the interviews. Not that anyone really cares about me clearing these exams, apart from my parents and my brother, but still people shall always be ready with questions about "how" and "why". And they will be very quick to express anguish over my non-performance, and about how much it has peeved them. While it actually wont affect them in any way, just like their success and failure shall not make any difference to my life. And this holds true for the best of friends I have.
Sad but true, because, contrary to popular perception, I am a very selfish person. I always want things to be done my way, and when things dont work out according to my plan, I become this grumbling person, as you see me now. My friends say they want me to be happy, but again they shall not do anything to make me happy. This is how friends go. You can always expect them to help you when you go upto them, but they shall never help you without you asking for their help.
I also realised today that I cannot ever be happy. I have a habit of ignoring things or relationships that come easily to me, and so I cant appreciate all the good things that I have. I can never appreciate the importance of being a Black Eye, of good friends, or of having such wonderful parents and brother. I am also too egoistic to fight for things that dont come easily to me. Sometimes, however, I do get that urge to fight for something, something I feel shall make me happy, but then I lose. Every single time. I have the irritating habit of crying about what I dont have rather than enjoying what I have. And that is something I just cant change. Also, I think I keep expecting a lot from people, which is again something I cannot change.
I have been lucky to have made some good friends in my lifetime, and being god-gifted with such relatives, but today I wish, I could break the bond with everyone of them. And go into a new world order, where noone would know me, expect anything out of me, and let me live my life the way I want to. Where I could skip tomorrow's interview and not be made to feel guilty about it later. Where I could just speak out my mind about everyone, and tell them how much pain has each of these relationships have given me. I am pretty much sure, I have pained them a lot more, but being the selfish person that I am, I dont care about that.
I just wish I could disappear tonight to some place unknown. And switch off my cell phone and shut off all emails, probably get a plastic surgery and change my name. But I also know I dont have the courage to do it all.
I have just wasted the past two hours of my sleep, trying not to breathe. And I havent succeeded in even that. So instead I started crying, for no reason at all. And along with it, I have been listening to the song "Zindagi Dene Waale Sun" by Talat Mahmood, the entire time. And if you are reading this before 8:00 A.M. (IST) on 22nd March, please call me up on my cell phone and wake me up. Again, I make the same mistake of expecting too much. Do you even care? Or do I even care about you caring?
The best thing about life is that nothing is too important for it. It goes on. This way or that.
I just realised I have been chasing imaginary happiness. I am a really avid thinker, and so I feel happy at the thought of chasing happiness, and become sad when I cant catch it.
Tomorrow is my last IIM interview, that of IIMB, and probably the most important. You might say A and C were the more important ones, but seeing my GPA, coupled with the fact that I have screwed up my C interview, I fancy B more than I otherwise would have. But tonight, I suddenly feel as if I have had a malaria attack. I mean, I have all the symptoms normally associated with one. My head is aching like hell, I feel cold in this hot weather, and my body temperature can burn this entire place down.
And, worst of the lot, I actually like falling sick, just before one of the most important tests of my career. Probably because it will give me a chance to explain as to how did I fail again in clearing the interviews. Not that anyone really cares about me clearing these exams, apart from my parents and my brother, but still people shall always be ready with questions about "how" and "why". And they will be very quick to express anguish over my non-performance, and about how much it has peeved them. While it actually wont affect them in any way, just like their success and failure shall not make any difference to my life. And this holds true for the best of friends I have.
Sad but true, because, contrary to popular perception, I am a very selfish person. I always want things to be done my way, and when things dont work out according to my plan, I become this grumbling person, as you see me now. My friends say they want me to be happy, but again they shall not do anything to make me happy. This is how friends go. You can always expect them to help you when you go upto them, but they shall never help you without you asking for their help.
I also realised today that I cannot ever be happy. I have a habit of ignoring things or relationships that come easily to me, and so I cant appreciate all the good things that I have. I can never appreciate the importance of being a Black Eye, of good friends, or of having such wonderful parents and brother. I am also too egoistic to fight for things that dont come easily to me. Sometimes, however, I do get that urge to fight for something, something I feel shall make me happy, but then I lose. Every single time. I have the irritating habit of crying about what I dont have rather than enjoying what I have. And that is something I just cant change. Also, I think I keep expecting a lot from people, which is again something I cannot change.
I have been lucky to have made some good friends in my lifetime, and being god-gifted with such relatives, but today I wish, I could break the bond with everyone of them. And go into a new world order, where noone would know me, expect anything out of me, and let me live my life the way I want to. Where I could skip tomorrow's interview and not be made to feel guilty about it later. Where I could just speak out my mind about everyone, and tell them how much pain has each of these relationships have given me. I am pretty much sure, I have pained them a lot more, but being the selfish person that I am, I dont care about that.
I just wish I could disappear tonight to some place unknown. And switch off my cell phone and shut off all emails, probably get a plastic surgery and change my name. But I also know I dont have the courage to do it all.
I have just wasted the past two hours of my sleep, trying not to breathe. And I havent succeeded in even that. So instead I started crying, for no reason at all. And along with it, I have been listening to the song "Zindagi Dene Waale Sun" by Talat Mahmood, the entire time. And if you are reading this before 8:00 A.M. (IST) on 22nd March, please call me up on my cell phone and wake me up. Again, I make the same mistake of expecting too much. Do you even care? Or do I even care about you caring?
The best thing about life is that nothing is too important for it. It goes on. This way or that.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Do I need to say anything more?
(Source : Simon & Garfunkel)
Does anyone need to say anything more? The best song of self-less love, if ever there is such a term.
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Does anyone need to say anything more? The best song of self-less love, if ever there is such a term.
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Two more interviews,RCA, Degree and quitting.
Two more interviews have passed since the last mail, and while they havent been half as exciting as the first one, I am pretty happy with the way those two interviews have turned out to be. The two interviews were K on the 6th and A today, and I think I have done pretty well in both of them. The only downslide though being that in both these interviews, there was one guy in the panel who had interviewed me before. And I had done badly in my interviews the past year. But I guess they must have had noticed the changes in me as well. I was much more confident, and happy this time around. And that I might make up for that disappointing performance this year. A lot depends on luck as well, but I am much more confident of making it this time around. Aided by the rather superstitious fact that I make it everywhere my brother goes on my second attempt. This happened in RIMC, then IITD, and now I just hope I make it a hatrick by going to IIMA. Touchwood !!!
Among the other events that have transpired during this week long period have been that Kara has won the RCA. It has been like a dream come true, and the only sad part is that it happened after I had passed out of the hostel. However, surprisingly, this feat hasnt brought me as much joy as I thought it would. I guess priorities change with time, and at this particular time, I have two other priorities far greater than Kara getting the RCA. Kara has managed to bag the best hostel trophy also this time around, and I plan to go to the BHM night function, just to finally see the tallest mountain ranges, standing up to its name.
Among other things, I have also been lucky enough to pass out of the institute, after having finally got my provisional degree. It now seems that the last strand of my long (probably too long for my own liking) relationship with IIT Delhi have been cut. And the sad thing is, I dont feel any nostalgia, which is kind of strange. I am probably helped by the fact that I am in Delhi, which assures that I come back to IIT atleast every weekend (I actually am a lot more frequent visitor). Probably moving to some other place (Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Calcutta hopefully) shall make me feel nostalgic about this place IIT.
It has been a pretty busy week, what with there being interviews, and parties. And I have finally decided to quit. Drinking that is. I realised finally, that alcohol makes me act stupid at times, and so I am ready to give it up. Especially because I am now very wary of doing stupid things while drunk, which can spoil all my relationships. And now I finally know what it takes to keep up a good relationship.
Like they asked me at the IIMA interview, I am happy, happier than I have been in a long long time. And I hope it stays that way. I know the reason of my happiness, and I hope the reason stays as well. Touchwood again!!
Among the other events that have transpired during this week long period have been that Kara has won the RCA. It has been like a dream come true, and the only sad part is that it happened after I had passed out of the hostel. However, surprisingly, this feat hasnt brought me as much joy as I thought it would. I guess priorities change with time, and at this particular time, I have two other priorities far greater than Kara getting the RCA. Kara has managed to bag the best hostel trophy also this time around, and I plan to go to the BHM night function, just to finally see the tallest mountain ranges, standing up to its name.
Among other things, I have also been lucky enough to pass out of the institute, after having finally got my provisional degree. It now seems that the last strand of my long (probably too long for my own liking) relationship with IIT Delhi have been cut. And the sad thing is, I dont feel any nostalgia, which is kind of strange. I am probably helped by the fact that I am in Delhi, which assures that I come back to IIT atleast every weekend (I actually am a lot more frequent visitor). Probably moving to some other place (Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Calcutta hopefully) shall make me feel nostalgic about this place IIT.
It has been a pretty busy week, what with there being interviews, and parties. And I have finally decided to quit. Drinking that is. I realised finally, that alcohol makes me act stupid at times, and so I am ready to give it up. Especially because I am now very wary of doing stupid things while drunk, which can spoil all my relationships. And now I finally know what it takes to keep up a good relationship.
Like they asked me at the IIMA interview, I am happy, happier than I have been in a long long time. And I hope it stays that way. I know the reason of my happiness, and I hope the reason stays as well. Touchwood again!!
Saturday, March 04, 2006
The IIML interview story
{This is a kind of story that should actually go into the PagalGuy forum. But neither am I a PG member, nor do I wish to become one. Moreover, this wasn't an actual interview in any regard. I was not going for the interview in the first place, because without a degree, it seemed a total waste. Please note that I am not interested in going to IIML ever, and view the below conversations in that light.}
GD topic : bureaucracy mantains status quo, long after the time, the quo has lost its status. There were 9 of us, and while everyone looked blank in the beginning, the GD turned out to be a pretty good one in the end, and everyone seemed pretty happy at the end of Round 1.
Interview: Main Characters : V (for Victim, me), P1 (Prosecutor 1, a North Indian, smart, friendly looking fellow), P2 (Prosecutor 2, a South Indian, with a horrible accent and a totally disinterested look).
Scene : IIFT, Room F-5, Panel -IV.
P1 comes out.
P1 : Zobin Joy.
V: Yes, Sir
P1 :Come in
(Both go in. P2 is waiting inside. P1 takes the application from P2, and sits on the chair).
P1: You have a nice smiling face.
V: Thank you, sir (Sits down).
P1: So did you have tea?
V: Yes, Sir.
P1: Which Brand of tea?
V (hearing it as which departmen): Electrical Engineering
P1: No no I asked which brand of tea?
V: ohh Sir..sorry..I didnt notice Sir.
P1 (reading the form): So, I see, you are interested in music.
V (bewildered, because he HASNT mentioned music anywhere): Yes Sir, I listen to music but I dont play any instrument.
P1 : So, you are from Delhi itself?
V: No, Sir, I belong to Dharamshala, HImachal Pradesh.
P1: Ohh..Then you know Mcleodgunj.
V: I stay in Mcleodgunj sir.
P1: U stay in Mcleodgunj?
V: No sir, not McleodGunj, but 15 kilometres downhill (Author's note: The correct answer is 20 kilometers, but who cares?).
P1: Dalai Lama.
V: Yes sir, I know the Dalai Lama. I have met him many times.
P1: Who is the next Dalai Lama?
(At this point, V takes centrestage. Explains about the Tibetian traditions, talks veer to the Panchen Lama and the Karmapa Lama, at the end of which V looks happy and confident, P1 looks enlightened and P2 is sleeping).
P1: So tell me your interests?
V: Sir, listening to music, reading, writing and quizzing
P1: What?
V: Sir, quizzing
P1: Ohh..quizzing? Okay...(Picks up a plastic water bottle). Tell me five non-conventional uses of this water bottle in one minute (Adjusts the minute in his mobile stop watch).
V: (Author's note : Please note that V is a male, that too from an engineering background. So the first thing that came to his mind, was the same as it comes to any male mind on hearing the same question. It is something I cant publish down here, and so, V definitely could not speak it out. And it took him 40 seconds to take that option from his mind. After which all he could come up with was ) umphhhh..
P1: See, for example, it can be used as a paper weight.
V: Yes Sir. (Mumbles two more uses, and is about to mumble a third, when P1 interrupts) 10 seconds left.
V(his mind again wavering to the first thing that came to his mind) umphh..
P1 : 5 seconds. (After five seconds) Time up. You could only tell me two uses, and then you say you do quizzing?
V: Sorry Sir.
P1: Okay you work in SPSS?
V: Yes Sir.
P1: Tell me the full form for SPSS?
V: Software for Packaging Statistical Systems (It is actually Statistical Packaging for Software Systems).
P1: If you dont know, just say dont know (This is the defining moment of the interview).
V: Yes Sir.
P1: Tell me one thing you can do in SPSS which you cannot do in Excel?
V: Sir, SPSS is faster, better..blah blah
P1 (interrupting): Tell me one thing you CANNOT do in Excel.
V (thinking hard..taking a lot of time): crosstab.
P1 (interrupting): Heard about labelling.
V: Yes Sir. (Then starts the second conversation about labelling, at the end of which V is confused and sad. P1 looks victorious, and P2 wakes up).
P2 (Picking up the form): So what happened to you in IIT? Why is your GPA so low?
V: Sir, to be very honest, I made a mistake; and by the time I realised it, it was too late.
P1 : Show me your certificates.
(V nervously shows the certificates, which dont have the degree in them. However, unknown to V, there is a transcript of a friend in the folder as well. P1 looks at it, but probably doesnt notice the name. Or if he does, doesnt show it. V gets goosebumps seeing the transcript coming out of nowhere, and it shows).
P2: SO you are from electrical Engineering Department?
V: Yes Sir.
P2: So you know about Power Sector?
V: Not much sir.
P2: So tell me about what reforms are taking place in Power Sector.
V: Sir, liberalisation.
P2: What else?
V: Dont know Sir.
P1: There was a big headlines in the newspaper regarding some power reforms in Delhi. What was it?
V: The Nuclear deal?
P1 (laughing): No. Dont you know?
V: I dont know Sir.
P1: Which companies supply power to Delhi.
V: Sir, Reliance and BSES.
P1: Which arm of Reliance provides power?
V: Sir, Reliance energy ofcourse.
P1: Are Reliance and BSES connected?
V: No, sir they are totally different competing companies providing power in different areas of Delhi.
P2: ohh..I see. Do u know about CRWC?
V: I dont know Sir.
P2: Who regulates power distribution in India?
V: Sir, the Indian Government.
P2: No, but they have set an autonomous body for the same. Which one?
V: Sir, I dont know.
P1: Okay tell me, which autoomous body is set up for regulating Telecommunications?
V: MTNL?
P1: No, its a service provider. A regulating body?
V: BSNL? No sir, I dont know
P1: Tell me one company producing power machinery in India.
V: ABB
P2: It is a foreing company. Tell me an INdian company.
V: Kirloskar.
P2:Okay, good. What does it make?
V: Heavy machines sir.
P2: Some PSU in the field?
V: Dont know sir.
P2: Okay tell me , do you know about budget?
V: Not much Sir.
P2 (exasparated): Tell me what do you read in business papers?
V: Sir, to be very honest, I dont read business papers.
P2 (losing cool): Tell me why do you want to do an MBA?
V (smiling) : Sir, because I want to open my own company in the consulting sector, that
P2 (interrupting): So you think you can do that without some business inputs?
V : No sir, I am just starting. Hopefully I will improve.
P1: Okay Zubin. You may leave now.
V: Thank you Sir.
P1: By the way, whats your percentile.
V (smiling):99.94 Sir.
P1: All calls?
V: Yes Sir.
Thank You Sir.
{And thus V came out. The curtains fall upon any chances of making it to IIML this year around).
GD topic : bureaucracy mantains status quo, long after the time, the quo has lost its status. There were 9 of us, and while everyone looked blank in the beginning, the GD turned out to be a pretty good one in the end, and everyone seemed pretty happy at the end of Round 1.
Interview: Main Characters : V (for Victim, me), P1 (Prosecutor 1, a North Indian, smart, friendly looking fellow), P2 (Prosecutor 2, a South Indian, with a horrible accent and a totally disinterested look).
Scene : IIFT, Room F-5, Panel -IV.
P1 comes out.
P1 : Zobin Joy.
V: Yes, Sir
P1 :Come in
(Both go in. P2 is waiting inside. P1 takes the application from P2, and sits on the chair).
P1: You have a nice smiling face.
V: Thank you, sir (Sits down).
P1: So did you have tea?
V: Yes, Sir.
P1: Which Brand of tea?
V (hearing it as which departmen): Electrical Engineering
P1: No no I asked which brand of tea?
V: ohh Sir..sorry..I didnt notice Sir.
P1 (reading the form): So, I see, you are interested in music.
V (bewildered, because he HASNT mentioned music anywhere): Yes Sir, I listen to music but I dont play any instrument.
P1 : So, you are from Delhi itself?
V: No, Sir, I belong to Dharamshala, HImachal Pradesh.
P1: Ohh..Then you know Mcleodgunj.
V: I stay in Mcleodgunj sir.
P1: U stay in Mcleodgunj?
V: No sir, not McleodGunj, but 15 kilometres downhill (Author's note: The correct answer is 20 kilometers, but who cares?).
P1: Dalai Lama.
V: Yes sir, I know the Dalai Lama. I have met him many times.
P1: Who is the next Dalai Lama?
(At this point, V takes centrestage. Explains about the Tibetian traditions, talks veer to the Panchen Lama and the Karmapa Lama, at the end of which V looks happy and confident, P1 looks enlightened and P2 is sleeping).
P1: So tell me your interests?
V: Sir, listening to music, reading, writing and quizzing
P1: What?
V: Sir, quizzing
P1: Ohh..quizzing? Okay...(Picks up a plastic water bottle). Tell me five non-conventional uses of this water bottle in one minute (Adjusts the minute in his mobile stop watch).
V: (Author's note : Please note that V is a male, that too from an engineering background. So the first thing that came to his mind, was the same as it comes to any male mind on hearing the same question. It is something I cant publish down here, and so, V definitely could not speak it out. And it took him 40 seconds to take that option from his mind. After which all he could come up with was ) umphhhh..
P1: See, for example, it can be used as a paper weight.
V: Yes Sir. (Mumbles two more uses, and is about to mumble a third, when P1 interrupts) 10 seconds left.
V(his mind again wavering to the first thing that came to his mind) umphh..
P1 : 5 seconds. (After five seconds) Time up. You could only tell me two uses, and then you say you do quizzing?
V: Sorry Sir.
P1: Okay you work in SPSS?
V: Yes Sir.
P1: Tell me the full form for SPSS?
V: Software for Packaging Statistical Systems (It is actually Statistical Packaging for Software Systems).
P1: If you dont know, just say dont know (This is the defining moment of the interview).
V: Yes Sir.
P1: Tell me one thing you can do in SPSS which you cannot do in Excel?
V: Sir, SPSS is faster, better..blah blah
P1 (interrupting): Tell me one thing you CANNOT do in Excel.
V (thinking hard..taking a lot of time): crosstab.
P1 (interrupting): Heard about labelling.
V: Yes Sir. (Then starts the second conversation about labelling, at the end of which V is confused and sad. P1 looks victorious, and P2 wakes up).
P2 (Picking up the form): So what happened to you in IIT? Why is your GPA so low?
V: Sir, to be very honest, I made a mistake; and by the time I realised it, it was too late.
P1 : Show me your certificates.
(V nervously shows the certificates, which dont have the degree in them. However, unknown to V, there is a transcript of a friend in the folder as well. P1 looks at it, but probably doesnt notice the name. Or if he does, doesnt show it. V gets goosebumps seeing the transcript coming out of nowhere, and it shows).
P2: SO you are from electrical Engineering Department?
V: Yes Sir.
P2: So you know about Power Sector?
V: Not much sir.
P2: So tell me about what reforms are taking place in Power Sector.
V: Sir, liberalisation.
P2: What else?
V: Dont know Sir.
P1: There was a big headlines in the newspaper regarding some power reforms in Delhi. What was it?
V: The Nuclear deal?
P1 (laughing): No. Dont you know?
V: I dont know Sir.
P1: Which companies supply power to Delhi.
V: Sir, Reliance and BSES.
P1: Which arm of Reliance provides power?
V: Sir, Reliance energy ofcourse.
P1: Are Reliance and BSES connected?
V: No, sir they are totally different competing companies providing power in different areas of Delhi.
P2: ohh..I see. Do u know about CRWC?
V: I dont know Sir.
P2: Who regulates power distribution in India?
V: Sir, the Indian Government.
P2: No, but they have set an autonomous body for the same. Which one?
V: Sir, I dont know.
P1: Okay tell me, which autoomous body is set up for regulating Telecommunications?
V: MTNL?
P1: No, its a service provider. A regulating body?
V: BSNL? No sir, I dont know
P1: Tell me one company producing power machinery in India.
V: ABB
P2: It is a foreing company. Tell me an INdian company.
V: Kirloskar.
P2:Okay, good. What does it make?
V: Heavy machines sir.
P2: Some PSU in the field?
V: Dont know sir.
P2: Okay tell me , do you know about budget?
V: Not much Sir.
P2 (exasparated): Tell me what do you read in business papers?
V: Sir, to be very honest, I dont read business papers.
P2 (losing cool): Tell me why do you want to do an MBA?
V (smiling) : Sir, because I want to open my own company in the consulting sector, that
P2 (interrupting): So you think you can do that without some business inputs?
V : No sir, I am just starting. Hopefully I will improve.
P1: Okay Zubin. You may leave now.
V: Thank you Sir.
P1: By the way, whats your percentile.
V (smiling):99.94 Sir.
P1: All calls?
V: Yes Sir.
Thank You Sir.
{And thus V came out. The curtains fall upon any chances of making it to IIML this year around).
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Happiness and love
[I am not a particularly happy man, as people reading this page regularly will testify. I am too much of a thinker, and am always finding excuses about life. But now, things have started changing, and I am much happier today than in a long, long time].
There are many reasons for this happiness. I have just good a pretty good appraisal from the company I work with. Again, I have gotten three good reccomendation letters for IIM Bangalore, which makes me take a good shot towards it. Again I have the kind of confidence to go and crack these six interviews, even though I havent done ANY sort of preparation for it. I guess this confidence comes along with you work-ex. The past year, has been a great teacher, and I guess I have learnt a lot from it. And just the thought of being so much wiser than last year makes me happy.
The greatest reason, though, for this happiness, has been something else. It is, probably, hanging out with the kind of people you want to, who try to understand you, and you try to understand them. Happiness is about spending time with people you really want to be with all the time.
Going through a very popular blog, I read, "I can't say what love is, but there are several things that love certainly isn't." But, now thinking back, I can probably say what love is. Its suddenly realising that there could be no greater happiness in life than if you were to spend your whole life with a certain person. Or that, after a tough day in office, all you could wish for is to hear that one voice. Or wishing that time would stop whenever you are alone with that person.
When all you wish you could write/sing/play songs like Yellow /Fields of Gold/At my Most Beautiful to that special person. And knowing that he/she too loves you, without having to hear it in the first place. Love is happiness, and happiness is love.
There are many reasons for this happiness. I have just good a pretty good appraisal from the company I work with. Again, I have gotten three good reccomendation letters for IIM Bangalore, which makes me take a good shot towards it. Again I have the kind of confidence to go and crack these six interviews, even though I havent done ANY sort of preparation for it. I guess this confidence comes along with you work-ex. The past year, has been a great teacher, and I guess I have learnt a lot from it. And just the thought of being so much wiser than last year makes me happy.
The greatest reason, though, for this happiness, has been something else. It is, probably, hanging out with the kind of people you want to, who try to understand you, and you try to understand them. Happiness is about spending time with people you really want to be with all the time.
Going through a very popular blog, I read, "I can't say what love is, but there are several things that love certainly isn't." But, now thinking back, I can probably say what love is. Its suddenly realising that there could be no greater happiness in life than if you were to spend your whole life with a certain person. Or that, after a tough day in office, all you could wish for is to hear that one voice. Or wishing that time would stop whenever you are alone with that person.
When all you wish you could write/sing/play songs like Yellow /Fields of Gold/At my Most Beautiful to that special person. And knowing that he/she too loves you, without having to hear it in the first place. Love is happiness, and happiness is love.
Monday, February 13, 2006
A few sorries..and a thank you
Its another time of introspection: someone has just described me thus: "one person whom I will give the most abuses when I pass out of IIT in three months time. " And the bigger thing is, he told me in the face about it, and I was left speechless with this attack. For he accused me of spoiling everything he had ever tried to achieve in the four years I have known him. Without reason as well, he said. And I had thought him to be one of my good juniors.
And two days before, I got a phone call from a friend, with whom I had a love-hate relationship for four years. And he accused me as well, of never trying to understand him, and always holding him in the wrong. He was badly drunk, and cried about me never had considered him a friend. When, he said, he had regarded me a friend all through.
It seems I have been hit by a cannonball. I thought that the best thing about myself was that I could be a good friend to people. And today, even that illusion has been shattered. I thought I would never let anyone down. And now I realise that I have managed to alienate so many people from my lives, people who could have been my good friends, but whom I lost because I was mean. Or maybe, I was just plainly confused. I have all through believed passionately that the greatest gift that IIT provided me with was the respect of people. I always thought that, my loser status notwithstanding, I was liked by people, which is all that mattered to me. And now people say things like this. It hurts more than all the slaps that my mother used to hit me when I was a child.
This post is my apology to all those who have ever been hurt by me. Trust me, I never did that on purpose; and while I find it hard to apologise, I am apologising now: for being selfish, for being confused, and for not understanding people. I also hope to stay out of any controversy from now on, and just hope that people shall try forgiving me for all that I have ever done.
This poet is also a thank you for someone, being with whom has been a special treat, and has made me feel better about myself than I have ever felt. I believe in myself a lot more than I ever have. And such comments hurt a lot less than they would have otherwise. Thank you.
The other thing that I like about myself is that I have started inspiring people through this blog. A lot of people have been inspired by me to start writing, and I take it as a good sign. The latest to join the bandwagon is a junior, who writes this in his first post:"read many blogs before writing this one and i found that blogs are a portrayal of one's personality . I got to learn many things from blogs like main fundaa of success is setting up a question for yourself and finding answer to it ......... and many more". And guess where he got this fundaa of success? Any guesses?
I once wrote a post titled, "A post a day keeps the frustration away". It has never been truer. And I already feel much better.
And two days before, I got a phone call from a friend, with whom I had a love-hate relationship for four years. And he accused me as well, of never trying to understand him, and always holding him in the wrong. He was badly drunk, and cried about me never had considered him a friend. When, he said, he had regarded me a friend all through.
It seems I have been hit by a cannonball. I thought that the best thing about myself was that I could be a good friend to people. And today, even that illusion has been shattered. I thought I would never let anyone down. And now I realise that I have managed to alienate so many people from my lives, people who could have been my good friends, but whom I lost because I was mean. Or maybe, I was just plainly confused. I have all through believed passionately that the greatest gift that IIT provided me with was the respect of people. I always thought that, my loser status notwithstanding, I was liked by people, which is all that mattered to me. And now people say things like this. It hurts more than all the slaps that my mother used to hit me when I was a child.
This post is my apology to all those who have ever been hurt by me. Trust me, I never did that on purpose; and while I find it hard to apologise, I am apologising now: for being selfish, for being confused, and for not understanding people. I also hope to stay out of any controversy from now on, and just hope that people shall try forgiving me for all that I have ever done.
This poet is also a thank you for someone, being with whom has been a special treat, and has made me feel better about myself than I have ever felt. I believe in myself a lot more than I ever have. And such comments hurt a lot less than they would have otherwise. Thank you.
The other thing that I like about myself is that I have started inspiring people through this blog. A lot of people have been inspired by me to start writing, and I take it as a good sign. The latest to join the bandwagon is a junior, who writes this in his first post:"read many blogs before writing this one and i found that blogs are a portrayal of one's personality . I got to learn many things from blogs like main fundaa of success is setting up a question for yourself and finding answer to it ......... and many more". And guess where he got this fundaa of success? Any guesses?
I once wrote a post titled, "A post a day keeps the frustration away". It has never been truer. And I already feel much better.
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