Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Irony of the filter scale theory

So you have met this new girl. She is someone, who on first looks, fulfils your ZSV matrix criteria ("Degi to le loonga", for the uninitiated). As you get to know her better, she fulfills most of your other filters too. All in all, she is a 80 on your 100 point filter score.

The filter score is a score combination of many filters which you might have for you perfect girl to have. Now,you being a frustrated engineer and later an MBA, the score has very high weights for external attributes. However, filters can also include professional characteristics, geographical attributes, cultural club and social behaviour filters. The girl needs to score highly on all of them to be eligible for future conversations.

Now, being an engineer and an MBA who has managed to achieve things pretty easily in life, you also have affinity for being the best. Which is why the girl you want to date also needs to rate pretty high up on your filters. This is why your filter pass marks are very high compared to the Board and graduation/post-graduation course pass marks. A girl needs to score at least a 75 in your filter score for you to actively pursue her.

However, this is where the irony creeps in. Being an engineer and a MBA, you also do not have much confidence in yourself, and so believe you do not deserve a 65 or above. The maximum, if things go well, you can do is a 65. This attitude has been brought on by years after years of rejections from girls of all shapes and sizes, and you have absolutely lost your self-confidence, especially when it comes to girls. Now because you think you deserve only a 65, but because you are not willing to fall below 75 when it comes to dating, you are still single. This 10 point gap is something that is insurmountable, and hence, you have accepted being single as a truth of life.

Now, what actually happens is, you are not as bad as that. In truth, you might deserve a 85 even, because you are pretty funny, and come to think of it, potentially rich. The theory has yet to be confirmed, but your friends think you can do better than 65, and this 85 theory is as valid as scientific claims made in the Vedas, or the Mathematical claims of Ramanujan - an invalidated truth.

Now what happens is that all girls, up until this point, who have managed to pass the filter score have been committed. Or married. Or engaged. (I am sure you get the point). However, this girl, who after you have interacted with her enough, has managed to score a 80, and voila - she is still single. It is a mystery as to why this is so, but you are a firm believer in destiny, and believe it is what was meant to be, and hence this girl is "THE ONE".

There is more to this though. Because you think you deserve only a 65 (at best that, mind you), this new girl, who has managed to score a 80 on your filter score, is a bit of anomaly. She has been talking to you regularly, which is kind of odd, and which makes you uncomfortable - you have never been remotely near a 80 before. Which is why, being an engineer and completely lacking all kinds of social skills, you can only mumble while she talks to you, and think about how could you get a 80 just like that. Which is where your entire value system kicks on, and the concept of Karma gets to you, and you think something that you do not deserve is a bad thing altogether. And then you start to find ways to get this 80 girl to lose you. You start acting like a sore loser, and then feel bad about yourself when she shakes you off and starts seeing someone else.

Then the entire cycle kicks off again. You lower your standards further, and nowadays your new standard of what you deserve has fallen to 60. What you want, though, has also fallen to 70. The irreversible 10 point gap remains the same, though.

Ahh, the story of your life. Probably being single is the truth of life, you say.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

A Ballad of Love. Or some other shit.

Kiss me, the Sixpence song, playing in the background;
Reminding Kate of the time she had spent with Ronan around;
And how she was so happy, life was so good, her Wonder Years;
That she still can't understand how did it all end in tears.
That was the one true love of her life, the one she held so dear,
Its been a long while, but he was the only one who came near.
Kate has had boyfriends and lovers and a husband since Ronan left
Although none of them has been able to fill her heart's cleft.

Kate is a memory forever entrenched in his brain,
Ronan sighs as he hears Kate's favourite song playing on the Train;
And memories long suppressed, suddenly find a voice,
There are no second chances, else Ronan would've made the right choice;
The fault was his, of this there is little doubt in his mind,
It was a mistake to let Kate go, she was so sweet and so kind;
Knight in shining armour was what he wanted to be for Kate,
All he could do was be an asshole, and realising it a bit too late;

Kate, the first time he saw her, looked so beautiful and simple,
Ronan still remembers, the train ride and the noisy German couple;
And it was bitching about them that the two of them began to chat,
Thats when they discovered their shared passion for tennis, arts and cats;
They discussed Politics,love and single parents, and passed away the night;
It was like two sides of a coin, it was love at first sight.
Knowing they had found their soulmates, they decided to see each other;
And soon they were living together, having informed her father and his mother.

Kismet, though, had other things in store for them, made them cry,
Right after six months or so, the passion had run dry;
And Ronan had decided he was being constrained, and needed a way out,
That led to increased arguments with Kate, who had her own doubts;
The thing was not going to work, that much was clear to all,
It was always a building that was going to fall.
Kate shifted out, and started seeing other guys, soon marrying,
And Ronan restarted his bachelor lifestyle, partying hard and travelling.

Kate, for all her lovers, never could find anyone to confide with,
Ronan, on the other hand, never found anyone else to spend his life with
And today, the day they first met is ten years in history
That train ride though is still a vivid memory.
There are probably many like the two mentioned here,
It was meant to be true love, but could never quite reach there,
Kate and Ronan is not an isolated case, they were made for each other,
And maybe the made for each other concept is as faulty as any other.