Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Irony of the filter scale theory

So you have met this new girl. She is someone, who on first looks, fulfils your ZSV matrix criteria ("Degi to le loonga", for the uninitiated). As you get to know her better, she fulfills most of your other filters too. All in all, she is a 80 on your 100 point filter score.

The filter score is a score combination of many filters which you might have for you perfect girl to have. Now,you being a frustrated engineer and later an MBA, the score has very high weights for external attributes. However, filters can also include professional characteristics, geographical attributes, cultural club and social behaviour filters. The girl needs to score highly on all of them to be eligible for future conversations.

Now, being an engineer and an MBA who has managed to achieve things pretty easily in life, you also have affinity for being the best. Which is why the girl you want to date also needs to rate pretty high up on your filters. This is why your filter pass marks are very high compared to the Board and graduation/post-graduation course pass marks. A girl needs to score at least a 75 in your filter score for you to actively pursue her.

However, this is where the irony creeps in. Being an engineer and a MBA, you also do not have much confidence in yourself, and so believe you do not deserve a 65 or above. The maximum, if things go well, you can do is a 65. This attitude has been brought on by years after years of rejections from girls of all shapes and sizes, and you have absolutely lost your self-confidence, especially when it comes to girls. Now because you think you deserve only a 65, but because you are not willing to fall below 75 when it comes to dating, you are still single. This 10 point gap is something that is insurmountable, and hence, you have accepted being single as a truth of life.

Now, what actually happens is, you are not as bad as that. In truth, you might deserve a 85 even, because you are pretty funny, and come to think of it, potentially rich. The theory has yet to be confirmed, but your friends think you can do better than 65, and this 85 theory is as valid as scientific claims made in the Vedas, or the Mathematical claims of Ramanujan - an invalidated truth.

Now what happens is that all girls, up until this point, who have managed to pass the filter score have been committed. Or married. Or engaged. (I am sure you get the point). However, this girl, who after you have interacted with her enough, has managed to score a 80, and voila - she is still single. It is a mystery as to why this is so, but you are a firm believer in destiny, and believe it is what was meant to be, and hence this girl is "THE ONE".

There is more to this though. Because you think you deserve only a 65 (at best that, mind you), this new girl, who has managed to score a 80 on your filter score, is a bit of anomaly. She has been talking to you regularly, which is kind of odd, and which makes you uncomfortable - you have never been remotely near a 80 before. Which is why, being an engineer and completely lacking all kinds of social skills, you can only mumble while she talks to you, and think about how could you get a 80 just like that. Which is where your entire value system kicks on, and the concept of Karma gets to you, and you think something that you do not deserve is a bad thing altogether. And then you start to find ways to get this 80 girl to lose you. You start acting like a sore loser, and then feel bad about yourself when she shakes you off and starts seeing someone else.

Then the entire cycle kicks off again. You lower your standards further, and nowadays your new standard of what you deserve has fallen to 60. What you want, though, has also fallen to 70. The irreversible 10 point gap remains the same, though.

Ahh, the story of your life. Probably being single is the truth of life, you say.


sidmohata said...

kya likha hai mere dost...dil garden garden ho gaya padh ke!

Rajpal Gusain said...

Shabd nahi hain aapki prashansha ke liye ;)

Vash said...

Too Much.. Machandozz likha hai :)

Witness said...

Insightful, funny:)story of my life!!

FatBoySlim said...

is'nt this a self-fulfilling prophecy then?

Rohan said...

you are improving every passing day you spend at our old place!

zubin said...

@Mohata: Bahut bahut dhanyawaad!
@Rajpal: Thank you hai sirjee..
@Vash: HHTIA :).
@Shweta: I thought this was only applicable for guys. The demand- supply gap, you see :).
@Fatter: It might be, now that you have pointed it out.
@RC: Sir, ab kyaa karen. Woh jagah hee kucchh aisi hai :).

Witness said...

I think its applicable both ways:)the demand supply gap u see;)

Anonymous said...

itna underestimate kyon kar raha hai apne ko..let her decide what you deserve :)

Saurabh said...

Zub, this post is going places! :)

Anonymous said...

after following your blog for a while,now i feel like battering you for your dastardly thoughts.

God helps those who help themselves.
If you don't believe in god,leave the fucking theory of karma alone.

life will pass in numerics

zubin said...

@Shweta: Come on. I do not think thats the case any given day :). 800 and some women left for every 1000 men in India, aisa kaise chalega? :)
@Anon 1: Waise yeh baat bhee sahee hai. Par usne decide kar liya hai - and her decision matches with mine :).
@Saurabh: :).
@Anon2: Why so serious? Cool man. Cool.

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