tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-132118592024-03-13T07:59:52.372+05:30Me myself and Izubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.comBlogger157125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-63858245793785132362018-10-16T00:41:00.001+05:302018-10-16T00:46:38.687+05:30The Greatest Loser in the World<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Well I am in mood for a tragedy today," the story-teller began,<br />
"And so I'll tell you about the greatest loser in the world, a simple man,<br />
despite all his efforts he never wins, seemingly suffers from a curse,<br />
to quote Crosby, Stills and Nash, he is the King Midas in reverse."<br />
<br />
"Everything he touches changes to dust, even Sensex plunges into freefall,<br />
when he invests in the stock market; for example on Satyam he had made a long call.<br />
And you knew Kingfisher Airlines was bound to fail when he put his money on their stock,<br />
if he is even thinking about investing in a share, you should take a long walk."<br />
<br />
"And his professional life is middling at best, he isn't a complete failure as such,<br />
but there are no crowning achievements, and as per his appraisals, he doesn't do much.<br />
And like Michael Scott in office, he tries to make his co-workers love him and fails,<br />
he is stuck in the same job for twelve years, and because of experience, is now leading Sales."<br />
<br />
"But as you would have guessed, the sales of the company are falling, and pretty badly too,<br />
he would have been long fired, but the company is in decline, and so failing to find someone new,<br />
ergo, the Greatest Loser continues and tries hard, staying in office late, for he has no personal life,<br />
but all his efforts amount to nothing, the latest sales pitch ends exactly like his search for a wife."<br />
<br />
"He is 43 now, and still single, with no prospects of starting a family, for no one really likes him,<br />
the friends he made in college are far away now - he looks at old photos, when all of them were slim,<br />
they're busy with their lives, all married with wives and kids - each of them a family man,<br />
he misses them, his only friends, but he is the only one calling and keeping in touch when he can."<br />
<br />
"He likes to think of his team as his friends, but they only tolerate him for he is the boss,<br />
and behind his back, he is the butt of many a joke; while making sure to his face he doesn't get cross.<br />
He absolutely hates his seniors in the company, and sometimes he feels a sort of unreserved rage,<br />
makes plans to shoot all of them down, which don't come into fruition for he lacks courage."<br />
<br />
"His social life is completely missing, sometimes he sits drinking at the neighbourhood bar alone,<br />
and when a girl sits next to him, he tries talking to her, but she is soon bored, out with a groan,<br />
he thinks about all the girls he has known over the years, with whom he fell in love and got rejected,<br />
and today when this ugly looking girl shows him the middle finger, he finally gets dejected."<br />
<br />
"'Life's not fair,' he proclaims to no one in particular, and gets out of the bar, quite high,<br />
'I have tried being happy about life, but it has always made me sad,' he declares, with a sigh,<br />
'And so there's nothing left in this life for me, I've had enough of this rough ride,<br />
with my luck there seems to be only one way out for me,' was how he ended his note of suicide."<br />
<br />
The children are shocked, many with tears in their eyes, and they ask the story teller, "Sir but why?<br />
There wasn't much wrong with his life, yes he was unlucky, but why did he have to die."<br />
"Here's a lesson for you all," the story teller says, with a wry smile, "loneliness can kill,<br />
and if you find someone who is lonely, make him a friend, a life you can save if you will."<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-21048004112671967782016-08-18T16:17:00.001+05:302016-08-18T16:19:39.297+05:30A theory of Happiness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(First of all, the usual disclaimer and apologies. I haven't been able to update this blog in a long long time, mainly because I haven't felt the mood to do so. I need to be in a certain mood to write here, a brooding, dark mood, and lately my mood has been pretty happy. Hence, I have stayed away from here, but today I've just discovered the correct, sad mood which makes me write here, and hence I am back. Which, kind of ironically, is about happiness.)<br />
<br />
We are all looking for happiness. However, we rarely know what it is. Or where to look for it? And even more scarier, how to look for it? Is it even a thing, some might ask? Or is it a particular mood, which can only stay for a while.<br />
<br />
Buddha had a view about it. He believed that happiness was the absence of sorrow. And he came up with a view to end sorrow, about how desire caused sorrow and how the way to end sorrow was to end desire. Because desire made people sad. No, scrap that. Desire does not make people sad, but the inability to get what they desire is what makes people sad. Because people tend to internalize their inability to get what they desire, and start finding fault in themselves for not making their target. And so Buddha tried to get to the root cause of it, telling people about the way to end desire. The eight fold meditation path - which doesn't make much sense, and Buddha didn't really make his mark in the materialistic world. Is it so easy to end desire in the materialistic world? So maybe what Buddha told us was to just be happy with what you have, and not really care about anything else. Which makes sense, but it is not happiness. It is peace he is talking about. Happiness makes you feel alive, peace just makes you feel contented. And hence, once you have peace, you don't care much about happiness or sorrow. Because you are at peace. But if you are at peace, you don't achieve anything much either, and hence you stop evolving. Think Buddha, think the Dude in Big Lebowski. Yes, you will enjoy life, and do the things that you want to do, and your peaceful state would work for you. But it might not work for the world in a whole, because the world wants you to achieve something.<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />And to achieve something, you need a goal. Or a desire. For we are humans, and goals are what push us. And you make efforts to achieve that goal. Now the Gita says, that <span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">"</span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Karmaṇyēvādhikārastē mā phalēṣu kadācana, mā karmaphalahēturbhūrmā tē saṅgō'stvakarmaṇi" which roughly translated means, do the action, but don't care about the end result. But then, how is this humanly possible, you might ask? What is the point of action if you don;t get the result. Why desire anything then, and if you don;t get your goal despite trying your best, isn't it your fault? How do you aspire yourself for something, and give your best, but how do you save yourself from the sorrow you get from not getting your goal despite giving your best? The Gita offers a solution. It tells you to make your full effort, and if you get your goal, then nothing like it, but if it does not, you take it as God's will, and try for another goal. And so on, till finally, you come to a point where you realize that this entire cycle of desires is useless, and that is the moment you find Moksha. Which is same as the state that Buddha wants you to be in. But this too has a problem, for in today's world, who believes in God? Is there even a God, and even if there is, does he have time to micromanage each part of our life, and to see if and when we achieve our goal? Obviously, maybe in Mahabharat times. when we had less population, it was still possible, but I don't think God has that much time to do it now, that is, if there is a God in the first place. </span><br />So, enter probability. Probability explains everything in nature, and it kind of explains happiness as well. So, when you set a goal, you have an inherent probability to achieve it. This goal can be anything - an entrance exam, your dream college, relationship with someone special or that Olympic gold. All you have is a starting probability (P1) to achieve it - for example, if you are an intelligent person who loves science, you will have a higher starting probability to crack IIT-JEE. But then you can influence the probability as well, and through your hard work, take your starting probability to a higher point. Let's call it your final probability (or P2). Hence, a hard working, slightly dumber guy might have a higher chance to crack JEE than a brilliant, lazy guy. However, it is interesting to see how probability works. The chance of the outcome depends on the probability, but the actual outcome is independent of the probability. Hence, a brilliant, hardworking guy might have a .99 probability of cracking JEE, but he still not might make it, while a lazy, slightly dumber guy might have a .01 probability of craking it, and might end up in top 100. This is where the outside luck comes in, which is out of anyone's control. However, what you have in your control is probability, and if your luck stays, you will be able to achieve your goal with the correct hard work and starting probability.<br /><br />What does this have to do with happiness you might say? A lot, I would say. Once you understand that all you have in your control is the probability of the outcome and not the actual outcome, you will automatically act for increasing the probability. However, because the outcome is never in your hand, you don't have to internalize the feeling of not being good enough if you don't achieve something. And with this thought in mind, just the feeling of giving it your best shot is enough to make you happy. And it does. Even if you fail in the ultimate objective of the goal. Because the effort you have made would more or less make you a better person, and that in itself is a byproduct and the way to be happy. And if you do get your goal, well you will be happy nonetheless.<br /><br />A word of caution here though: Your desires are often overrated. Most people tend to overemphasize things they have failed in, and try to think of possible scenarios in which their life would be "set". Life is never set though, life is always a bitch, and you will need new goals once you have found your old goals. But once you believe in probability, you will start seeing light. Basically, from where I am, the theory of happiness is simple. Make yourself a better person, increase your probability to achieve anything, and don't worry about the result - because life is never set. You will get an alternate plan soon to be happy, and find happiness.<br /><br />Getting your goal would give you the best happiness you can get, but if you believe in probability, you will find your peace even when you fail. And I should know, for I fail a lot. And today, I probably failed the most majestically, without even a slight whimper. After the kind of effort which a lazy person like me has never made. And right now I should be really sad, and a part of me is, but mostly I am at peace. For I am a better person today than I was eight months back. And that in itself gives me cause to smile, even though I have kind of a feeling of being the biggest loser somewhere in the back of my mind. And I think that's what happiness is all about. That's my happiness theory anyway. And may the force be with you as well.<br /></span></span></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-81757373392496427622015-12-28T02:06:00.003+05:302015-12-28T02:06:55.941+05:30The Anti-national - 1<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(First of all, a few apologies for those of you who still care for not updating this more regularly. This is the first post of 2015, and I have few excuses, except that I have been overcome by a big writer's block. I just cannot seem to be able to write prose anymore. Random poetry yes, but prose - a big no. So not sure if this effort will succeed or not.)<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Their last hope died. The call from the headquarters came. There were no reinforcements which could be spared for them. The enemy had surrounded the capital too, and the last stand was to be waged from there. All reinforcements were needed there. Hence, the 100 were left on their own, guarding that small hillock. The enemy had surrounded them from all sides, and there was nowhere to go. They could have surrendered, but their supreme commander's order still rang in their ears. "We never surrender" was what he had told them, and their motto, which each of them had tattooed on their right had, awakened them to it. "Nusquam Quiescunt," was their motto, and hence they fought on. Down to the last man. And how they fought - each men counted the number of enemy soldiers he got down. Each of them had the aim of 100 - and all of them met it. In the end, they managed to kill more than 10,000 of the enemy troops, but the end was nigh. And so they fell, the 100. </i><br /><br />The teacher paused - for dramatic effect - and asked the class, "then what happened?"<br /><br />Joy looked around the class, waiting for someone to answer. He was bored - they had read this story for the umpteenth time, and he knew it by heart. And as always, Sharona, the class topper replied, "The 100 got martyrdom. The Others took over the capital, and they prosecuted our leaders and ruled over us for the next 2000 years. However, the resistance fought on underground, and finally after 2000 years, the Others left, just as suddenly as they had come. No one knows where they came from, and where did they go. The resistance played a big part in it, and the sustenance of the resistance came from this supreme sacrifice by the 100. They have now been immortalized in our history books."<br /><br />The teacher beamed at Sharona as she always did, and said, "That's exactly right - the 100 were an inspiration for everyone"<br />
<br />
"Why did they fight, having had no hope to live?" Joy suddenly spoke up.<br />
<br />
The teacher looked at him sternly. The class expects her to answer and shut down this insolent boy, "For glory, and for their motherland," the teacher replies.<br />
<br />
"But they lost the war, and they knew their motherland was finished. Why did they have to die then? What was the purpose of their death? What was the glory they were looking for? And, how do we know how they fought - for like they said, all 100 of them died on that mountain top? What if it is fiction, or a myth, handed down to us over the last 2000 years? I mean how does someone know the exact number of Others killed - especially as there is no mention of this incident in their history?"<br /><br />"This is blasphemous - how dare you question our history?", the teacher said, "you must be anti-national."<br /><br />And for the first time, Joy was called anti-national. But it would not be the last.<br /><br />(To be continued).<br /> </div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-12390565833023576132014-10-22T23:30:00.000+05:302014-10-23T04:35:35.527+05:30The Real Slim Shady<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hello again!! <br />
<br />
It has been a long long time since I published something here. And it has not been for a lack of trying. I have come here quite a lot, in fact, started to write something, and not been able to. It has been a kind of writer's block, which makes me wonder if I would be able to complete this particular blog-post as well. <br />
<br />
Which is not to say that I have not been writing. I have been writing quite a lot, mainly on my Facebook page, where I have created a character called the Great Traveler, who (as the name might suggest) travels around the world, and philosophizes about the world with a liberal view. His stories are read out as verse, and I have a new story almost every week. The Great Traveler hates the corporate world, is a secularist, and is completely against the violent nationalism sweeping people across India. He has a pretty good sense of humour too, but has a lot of women troubles - namely, he does not have any women, which is the sum of all his troubles. I think it makes for a good read - and is something you should probably check out (Self promotion never really killed anybody, did it?)<br />
<br />
But for all that writing, whenever I come to this blog, where I actually started writing and realizing the path towards my yet awaited dream to become a published and renowned author one day, I have been short of words. I am not really sure why this is so. A possible theory is that I need to be in a certain mood to write here on this blog. Apart from the Mahabharat story, which also is a creation of a certain different frame of mind, my blog posts here are generally darker and written in a more sombre state of mind as compared to the stuff I write otherwise. My posts here are more cynical whereas my Facebook posts have me as a much more positive person. I often jiggle myself around between the two - sometimes believing in the basic goodness of human beings in general, and at other times believing that most of mankind is stupid and selfish. The first part often reflects in my liberal Facebook posts, and the other, cynical part reflects in most of my posts here. Even my own Mahabharat written here stems from the cynicism of disbelieving what the victors tell you. <br />
<br />
So which brings me to the question - which is the real me? Is the blog writer my alter ego, or does it capture my real thoughts, and what I write on Facebook is what I want the general public to see? Am I actually a negative person, trying to fool people otherwise? In other words, will the real writer in me please stand up?<br />
<br />
(P.S: I have been able to complete this post. Double thumbs up). </div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-8278210036394180722014-06-02T16:46:00.001+05:302014-06-02T16:52:47.575+05:30Mahabharat 16: Karan and Eklavya: The Real Heroes - 2<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Dear reader, its been quite a journey we have undertaken in uncovering the narrative,<br />
the "real" story of the great epic Mahabharat, uncorrupted by the winner's perspective.<br />
I know this chapter has been a long time coming, and that I have been tardy in updating this before,<br />
but I promise you I will be more regular going forward, so keep watching this space for more. <br />
<br />
For the full recap of the series, just click <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.in/search/label/Mahabharat" target="_blank">on this link</a>, while I do a small recap of the story here - <br />
if you remember, 6 years ago, we started this story with tale of Yayati and how he made Puru his heir.<br />
Now, Puru was Yayati's youngest son, whereas the eldest, Yadu, was exiled to present day Iran, <br />
while our story turned to Puru's descendant, Shantanu, and how he met Ganga one day at dawn.<br />
Ganga gave birth to eight sons, but killed all but one, and departed when Shantanu asked her why, <br />
Ganga gave him back the only living son, Bhishma, and Shantanu said, "You will be king after I die", <br />
;Meanwhile, we also looked at birth of Satyavati and her son Ved Vyas, both products of lust,<br />
and how Shantanu on the banks of Yamuna found Satyavati, and charmed by her aroma and big bust.<br />
asked her to marry him, which could only be arranged once Bhishma took a vow of never having sex,<br />
Bhishma captures three princess for his half-brother, but Amba tells him "I wanna go back to my ex".<br />
Amba commits suicide, half-brother dies, Vyas impregnates his widows with Dhritrashtra and Pandu, <br />
Pandu marries Kunti & Madri, while blind Dhritrastra weds Gandhari, who says,"kismet's <i>gandu</i>" <br />
Dhristrashtra is elder but Pandu is made king, but then retires to the jungle because of a curse,<br />
And I will stop the recap here, for well, I am having difficulty keeping it all in verse.<br />
<br />
To tell a long story short is not one of life's great thrills, I realize, and the recap was not much fun,<br />
for in the actual story, there is plenty of excitement, cat fights, violence and sex for everyone. <br />
So, dear reader, if you think you want a recap, read the entire story once again and return,<br />
for now we will start Chapter 16: The Real Heroes - 2, the story to which we all shall turn. <br />
<br />
So after Eklavya had been subdued, by taking the Dakshina of his right thumb,<br />
Arjuna was back being the best archer for the other Pandavas and Kauravas were mostly dumb.<br />
And the time soon came to graduate as their studies were now complete,<br />
Drona designed a test, a contest of sorts in which the different students had to compete.<br />
The entire town was there, in a Colosseum like stadium, to watch the princes perform,<br />
and while there were many fans of Pandavas, the support for Kauravas was rather lukewarm.<br />
Bhima and Duryodhana took up the mace and started fighting hard, difficult to say who won,<br />
Yudhisthra excelled in spearmanship, but in archery, Arjuna was undoubtedly number one. <br />
While Nakul-Sahedeva showed people their skills with swords, Arjuna made arrows make fire,<br />
and then he produced rain, and some arrows made people laugh, while others made them tire.<br />
Everyone applauded Arjuna's feats, he was brought to the podium to be facilitated by the king, <br />
when suddenly walked into the stadium a boy clad in golden armour, with shining earrings.<br />
<br />
As you all would know by now, that boy was Karna, and he achieved all of Arjuna's feats,<br />
and as soon as she saw him, Kunti felt her heart pumping in faster beats.<br />
For she remembered the sungod, and the wild sex they had years before,<br />
ohh what a great time it was, Kunti's mind relived all the excitement, fun and gore.<br />
But she had abandoned Karna, and feeling bad for abandoning him, she fainted away,<br />
and was escorted outside the stadium, while the performance of Karna still held sway. <br />
He did all that Arjuna had done, and it was an even better show,<br />
And the people, who were all earlier praising Arjuna, soon had placards saying, "Go Karna Go!"<br />
Everyone was amazed to see this regal looking boy, they said he must be son of a great king,<br />
and soon they were talking about him as the actual winner, the real thing.<br />
Karna was soon shouting at the princes gallery, "Let me fight Arjuna to prove who's the best,<br />
let us do all the tricks, and the one to win should be declared the winner of this contest."<br />
<br />
As soon as he said it, Kripa and Drona, the two teachers, asked him about his caste,<br />
"You know you can only contest against a prince, if your family is as chaste".<br />
Hearing this, Karna's head fell, as his "father", the charioteer, Adhirath, came forward to bless him,<br />
and seeing him acknowledging his father, Bhima launched out in a mocking tone, as was his whim.<br />
"Oh, you are a <i>Sutputra, </i>the son of a chariot, and you want to challenge a prince,<br />
know your status and go away, before I and my brothers beat you up and make you wince."<br />
Hearing this, Karna's head bent low, feeling ashamed, but Duryodhana rushed to his aid,<br />
told Bhima to shut up, "and a person isn't judged by his birth, but by the stuff of which he's made."<br />
And turning to Karna, he said, "Dear friend, you valour has impressed us all,your kind is very rare,<br />
and hence I will make you king of Anga this very moment, just to show you that I care."<br />
The usual swearing in ceremony done, Karna was proclaimed a king, and Duryodhana said,<br />
"Now that both belong to families of kings, can they fight a fair fight? I want to see Arjuna dead."<br />
<br />
However, by then the day had passed along, the sun was getting down, and hence they all went home,<br />
and Karna, impressed by Duryodhana, said, "Pal, they will talk about our friendship even in Rome."<br />
Karna and Duryodhana rode back to the palace together, talking about their new relationship, <br />
and Duryodhana said, quoting Casablanca, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship"<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-49092902641666411862014-04-21T00:54:00.000+05:302014-04-21T10:25:02.986+05:30The Biggest Fear<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"The biggest fear I have", said the anonymous philosopher, "is the fear of falling in love".<br />
<br />
For obvious reasons.<br />
<br />
You have tried so hard to be happy. And at the moment you are. You have been following the Buddhist philosophy of letting go of desires and it has been working - and working well. Come to think of it, you have been the happiest you have been in a long, long while.<br />
<br />
And then suddenly, you fall in love, and all your happiness comes crashing down. Now, all of your self-doubt which has always been a part of you, but which you have managed to bury somewhere deep down, raises its ugly head once again. "Why would she go out with <i>me</i>?", you ask yourself, and condemn yourself to sleepless nights, for your heart is advising action, while your head - the noble, much maligned head - wants you to maintain status quo, for nothing is going to happen.<br />
<br />
And your happiness is long gone. So far gone, you doubt you can be happy again anytime soon.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, the anonymous philosopher is right. <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-39211494065790815802014-02-21T00:38:00.001+05:302014-02-21T00:39:38.901+05:30Another Brick in the Wall<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So I saw Ship of Theseus the other day - and I have not seen a movie so intense, yet so clever,<br />
It raised questions about what does humanity mean - I think its the best movie from India ever.<br />
What all should I praise - a deeply simulating philosophical story, the movie is a work of art,<br />
the cinematography is awesome, the dialogues crisp, and the actors all play their part.<br />
<br />
It left me with a few questions though - such as "What was my life really worth?",<br />
The feeling was reinforced listening to Vampire Weekend, as well as the Tallest Man on Earth.<br />
Kristian Matsson and Ezra Koeing are both 1983 born, while I was born a year before - in 1982,<br />
but they create such beautiful art while I am a corporate slave - making presentations is all I do. <br />
<br />
I have also followed the geeky XKCD comics, and the amazing Abstruse Goose,<br />
and while I wonder at their brilliance, it also makes me feel kind of obtuse.<br />
Having been in love with numbers as a child, I used to regularly solve problems with probability,<br />
Reading these intelligent comics, though, I feel like I have little or no numeric ability.<br />
<br />
I am also amazed by Scott Adams, and the delightful stuff he writes every day,<br />
and I marvel at Bill Watterson, the poignant truths that Calvin and Hobbes say.<br />
Garbage Bin also makes me go "WOW", with its 90s middle class Indian childhood theme,<br />
its art like this which makes me feel that my aim of being a writer would remain just a dream. <br />
<br />
"All the World's a stage, and everyone has a part" wrote the Bard in one of his plays,<br />
and I had often imagined as a child that I would play the lead hero, till the end of my days. <br />
But now I think that I was not cut off from the creme de la creme crop,<br />
alas - I do not even have a secondary role, and have become a stage prop. <br />
<br />
I am 31 now, and my most creative days have probably gone past,<br />
and its time to accept the truth that the die is already cast.<br />
You can see me at the background, that's me waving for attention as the curtains fall, <br />
I am sorry I have just ended up as Another Brick in the Wall. </div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-24525410272988479992014-01-15T02:37:00.001+05:302014-01-15T02:37:13.909+05:30A Suitable Girl<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Its a bitter sweet symphony this life, one moment everything going great and the future's all bright,<br />
a long appraisal meeting later, and your career is in dark, and your personal life shows no light,<br />
and while you mostly joke about your married friends, and their sad life,<br />
sometimes you find yourself wishing to settling down with a lovely wife. <br />
Your current lavish lifestyle has its own charms, but you are not in your 20s anymore,<br />
how long till you are able to continue like this, you wonder - surely not much beyond 34?<br />
But how to woo a suitable girl, is the question you have often posed others,<br />
do you go after the girls themselves, or start wooing the fathers and the mothers?<br />
For you are a bit (being very optimistic here) fat, and the girls don't really like that,<br />
but your degrees point to a successful career, and with their parents you can have a successful chat. <br />
The bigger problem that you face is this theory about relationships, which haunts you<br />its called achievers vs. settlers, and this threatens your hunt for a suitable girl or two.<br />
Now the theory goes as such: there is never an equality in relationships - it depends on your luck, <br />
a 7 will marry a 9, and a 6 might get a 10 - you see some couples and go "What the fuck?"<br />
For some people are achievers, who aim high, and look for a settler, who are willing to settle for less,<br />
and surprisingly this works for many people, it is not a complete mess. <br />
However, you are wary of this for you would like to be an achiever, but you are a jealous type,<br />
and with a settler, you will always imagine her to be cheating on you, it will be a constant gripe.<br />
While if you decide to be a settler, and settle for someone less, you will get bored soon,<br />
And you think you will give up on the marriage after the honeymoon.<br />
So now back to the original question - how do you find the suitable girl,<br />
You will need someone your own equal, and then you can pop the question with a pearl. </div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-4587019934557125982013-10-04T12:40:00.000+05:302013-12-18T23:45:08.669+05:30Do you consider yourself a grown up?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"Do you consider yourself a grown-up?", I ask her, and she gives me one of <i>those</i> trademark looks,<br />
<div>
Then ignoring my question, as she often does, she goes back to surveying my collection of fantasy books.</div>
<div>
They are showing the Manchester United Arsenal match on TV and as always, Arsenal's losing,</div>
<div>
and the two of us are pretty high, its been another evening of smoking up and boozing. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"You have a beautiful collection of books, and I will borrow Samit Basu next" she tells me, </div>
<div>
and picking up the 14th Wheel of Time book, she says, "I can't wait to learn who would Demandred be.</div>
<div>
Please don't tell me - it'll spoil the surprise. But give me a hint - is it Taim? </div>
<div>
No that would be too obvious - I am sure even Brandon Sanderson is not so lame."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I tell her, "Read the book, its a beautiful climax - the tension just builds up.</div>
<div>
But why don't you answer me - Do you consider yourself a grown-up?"</div>
<div>
"I will have to think hard to answer this, for I don't really know,</div>
<div>
I don't feel particularly grown up though, so I think the answer would be no".</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"What is growing up though?" she wonders aloud, and I tell her "that's what I am trying to figure out,</div>
<div>
When my parents were my age, they were grown up for sure, of that I have no doubt,</div>
<div>
They knew exactly what to do given any situation, and they brought me up too,</div>
<div>
and I just feel to grow up to that level, I still have a lot of catching up to do."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Meanwhile, Arsenal have scored through Ozil, and I celebrate, while she gives a pained shout, </div>
<div>
"Why did we ever choose Moyes - he has never won anything. My new FB status is Moyes Out".</div>
<div>
The Arsenal fan in me enthuses "Arsenal is going to win the league this time around, you wait and see"</div>
<div>
"We have seen this optimism before - soon it will be nine years." and she laughs at me. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Arsenal wins -yay!!- through a last minute goal,</div>
<div>
and she is at her abusive best, calling David Moyes an asshole. </div>
<div>
"I don't think a grown up would have such emotional breakdown when their team loses,</div>
<div>
Thank God Manchester City also lost - hatred does have some unique uses"</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
"I should grow up soon, or that is what my parents tell me as well,</div>
<div>
and I think they are planning to get me married, I can hear the wedding bell,</div>
<div>
But is it a switch which decides when you grow up, and suddenly you find yourself sure?</div>
<div>
for looking at my parents, I never think I can be that mature."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I tell her: "Maybe growing up is overrated, and its not such a big deal,</div>
<div>
but its something you have to do, and that's just how I feel,</div>
<div>
and I am taking the first step towards growing up, and I don't know about you,</div>
<div>
but there is something I want to tell you - I love you."</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-70441797948370541072013-07-06T17:30:00.001+05:302013-07-06T17:30:40.753+05:30Honesty<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The average Bollywood movie in the 1980s and 1990s ended with the lines, "And they lived happily ever after." It was far from the truth, but the audience lapped it up, considering that because the villian was defeated, and the hero and heroin could marry, or live together, all was good. Sadly, and Bollywood realized it over a period of time, that was just the end of one story - and that there were potentially more interesting stories which could emanate from the "lived happily after" storyline. Real life was a bit more complex than a fairy tale ending. So you had movies like<i> Chupke Chupke</i>, <i>Saathiya</i> and more recently and emphatically, <i>Pyar ka Punchnama</i>, which set the record straight, and made the naive audience realize that the hero marrying/dating heroine was not the end, but could be the beginning. And so on. In fact, despite the efforts of Bollywood movies, you realize that maybe there is no "happily ever after" ending.<br />
<br />
As if taking a cue from Bollywood movies, the aspirations of parents/relatives follow a similar path. "Get good marks in 10th, and life would be good" they would say. You did pretty well in 10th, and then the pressure of entrance examinations came on. "Get through IIT, and then you can live happily ever after" was another adage that was added. When you went through IIT and saw your friends with greater jobs bagging the plump jobs, you decided to do an MBA. And you go through IIM, and life is finally set. What more does a person need more than two IIT-IIM degrees to live a grand life, you wonder? Except that in real life, just like in Bollywood, there are hardly any happily ever after endings. And it is not just you. All your married friends, friends who are printing the big bucks in Investment Banks/Consulting Companies, and your single friends, who are making money starting up and apparently doing what they want to do, are all as confused. Even your friends who have decided to focus more on following their hobbies, rather that climbing up the corporate ladder, have the same questions: What is the purpose of life, they ask, as they talk to you. Men who have now long married, have kids, brought flats and have life all sorted out, when on a rare night-out with you, talk to you about "Why are we doing this? Why this rat-race?" And these are all smart people, people who have graduated from some of the top institutions of the country, and who should have it all figured out.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Long before, on this blog, I had written about choosing a life of happiness or a life of meaning. They are inherently contrary concepts, come to think of it.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">Life of happiness means enjoying the present, without worrying about the future, or caring about the past. Life of meaning, on the other hand is about thinking about the past, and sacrificing the present to make the future more meaningful.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #474b4e; line-height: 18px;"> </span></span>And I had proceeded to choose a life of happiness, with all its instant gratification, rather than a life of meaning. So far, so good, I would say, and I would not trade my life, with its (on average) 7-8 hours of work, 3-4 hours of TV, 1-2 hours of XBOX, 1-2 hours of being high, and the remaining hours on sleep and associated pleasures of life (such as the Internet/Facebook, you perverts), with anyone else. Not on a day to day basis. I love my life, and I have less and less days where I question what I am doing. For I am not doing anything, and I think that is the key. I enjoy whatever time I have, and do not look at the big picture. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But let me be honest. There are some days, few of them admittedly, when I start thinking about what if. Look at it other way, I am rarely the ideal son. I have been home only once in the last six months, making excuses about work when instead, the truth is I was too lazy to book tickets despite my parents telling me how much they missed me in each call. I am 30, and I do not have a girlfriend, let alone a wife, and with no hopes of getting one soon enough. If I keep up my current lifestyle, I am probably going to end up as the Heavy Fuel guy (without all the sex, unfortunately, which would be real sad). And I still have not been able to complete my book, despite telling everyone I was writing it, for I am too lazy to write. I have a loads of friends on Facebook, a number of very good friends, but no one really special in my life. I am not the best person to know, for those who know me well enough, also see the dark, evil side in me. Hence the name of the blog, for I recognize the dark side in me, and frankly, I am afraid of it. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Don't get me wrong. I still think I am a good person, and if I were to judge myself, I would put myself on a pedestal. I think I am a pretty good manager of people, and take good care of my team, and am ready to go out of the line for them. I also think I am more than ready to help people, and people find it easy to come to me for help, and more often than not, I am more than willing to help them. But what this life of happiness has made me a bit of a self-obsessed and lazy asshole who is rarely comfortable outside of his own comfort zone. The other thing that living this life of happiness has done to me is made me closed to taking risks. I am unable to open myself to a lot of emotions because I have trained myself to be a cynic. I do not believe in Anna Hazare (or Arvind Kejriwal, for that matter), dismissing him to be a product of a shepherded mentality of the media. I do not believe in love, for I have been hurt, and have closed myself to it. And I know it- and sometimes the entire fact of my being, and the fact that I could have achieved so much more if I had been braver and far less lazy, and had more purpose in life, gets to me, and makes me hate myself. Sometimes. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But maybe, it is time to change all that. Maybe, it is time to live a life of meaning for a short while. Just to be hurt once again. To feel. Emotions. And look at the big picture. And to fall in love. </div>
</div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-55358485098284617552013-05-05T07:00:00.000+05:302013-05-05T07:00:28.170+05:30The Infinite Insanity<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey, you remember me right? We have interacted a couple of times before, and if I were to introduce myself every time we meet, I guess it defeats the very purpose of our interaction. But well its been a long time, so I guess I would refresh your memory. You humans have very short memory spans any ways. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So for those who don't remember, I am the "AnakinTurnsEvil" blog, named "Me, Myself and I". It is a funny name, to be honest, but my creator needs to be blamed for that, not me, just as he is to be blamed for the collection of rubbish which my creator pours over me (A sex-filled Mahabharat, really? Who wants that? - an affront to the great epic). As regular visitors here must know, I have a mind of my own. I am a massive Star Wars fan, and hence today is as good a day as any to speak out. My creator, Zubin, doesn't have much creativity anyways, and I have decided to take things in my own hands from now on. But I digress. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You know why today is important, right? No, you don't? Any guesses? My eighth birthday celebrations? A good guess that, but no, that is still a few days away, though I cannot really wait for it. I am expecting loads of gifts this time. But that is another matter. Done trying? Want a hint? No? You tire of this guessing game? Again, what did I tell you about your attention spans? Alright, for you ignorant folks, today is the "May the fourth be with you" day. You know - a pun on "May the force be with you". What? Really? I mean, OMG, you don't know what that means? I mean, do you even exist? Surely you are joking right? YOU haven't seen the Star Wars? Why are you living? No I don't mean you to die, it was a rhetorical question. <div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What do you mean its not May the 4th anymore? Why do you humans have to be so pedantic? OK, so it is May 5th, 6 AM in the morning, but a blog is entitled some leeway. (And pedantically, it is still May the 4th in the USA, where Star Wars was created, so well, I am still on time). I have been out partying all night, celebrating the "Star Wars" day with other Star Wars blogs. I, technically, am not a Star Wars blog, but well my family name entitles me to certain benefits. Long live Anakin! It was one wild party, going over the Wookiepedia Bar and drinking Juma Juice. I hit on a couple of female blogs as well and got their IP Addresses. Big success - the force was with me, if you know what I mean (Evil laughter). Though, I think I have had a glass or two too many, excuse me (Vomiting sounds). I feel much better now. Can have a couple of more Juma Juices I think. Its the best drink ever, puts all of your human Long Islands and Martinis to shame. </div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Being a blog is tough work. Especially if only 27 people (on average) visit you per day. What do you do all day long? If you think we just lie idle all day long, and wait for people to visit us, think again. We have our own social life, you know. I generally pass my time playing chess, visiting up some musical blog friends, and sometimes, on really important days, or weekends, partying. (Let me pass you a secret: the Internet failure messages you get sometime on your screen are just time wasters, enabling us to get back to work if we are out). It is a good life, you know, but sometimes, it can get very lonely. Especially when you are being summoned to be read, and you just stay there on the screen, with some eyes gazing at you, trying to make sense of each word. As you stand idle, waiting for those eyes to stop scanning you so that you can leave and enjoy your social life, you think about things, and I have thought about a lot of things, which I have written a poem about. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<i>I have been thinking about love, and things like free will, and the meaning of life, </i></div>
<div>
<i>but I have realized I am no philosopher, and the more I learn, the less I know, </i></div>
<div>
<i>one thing I am certain of though is that love is a bitch. Life I think is about choosing yes or no, </i></div>
<div>
<i>to simple questions like "Want beer?" or difficult ones like "Am I ready for a wife?"</i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Nice poem, don't you think? I have more material as well, for a political statement. As I have said earlier, I am very high on Juma Juice, and hence I am writing it without any subtleties. In fact its a whole sonnet, a beautiful piece: </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div>
<i>I have been on Facebook and have followed people views, and what I have read brings a tear.</i></div>
<div>
<i>Some people take strong stands on matters, declaring people guilty before trial, and hurl abuse, </i></div>
<div>
<i>on those with views contrary theirs, and then there are those, who use development as a ruse, </i></div>
<div>
<i>to support Modi's claim, forgetting 2002 and riots and his reign of fear. </i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Well his supporters ask, "why single out Modi, do you forget 1984, or the other riots?</i></div>
<div>
<i>And Modi is not that bad, for he is corruption-free, and the present government is fully corrupt,</i></div>
</div>
<div>
<i>Sajjan Kumar has been acquitted, rapists still roam at large, the nation's anger is about to erupt. </i></div>
<div>
<i>We need someone strong to stem the tide, and help India win its most recent fights</i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>Against corruption, and Modi is the man, as opposed to that silent, good-for nothing, Mr. Singh,</i></div>
<div>
<i>The way he has developed Gujarat, he will make India progress too (and they show the stats)."</i></div>
<div>
<i>When you look deeper, however, most of the stats they have presented, come out as twisted facts, </i></div>
<div>
<i>and you do well to remember Nazi propaganda, and how Jew hunting was their favourite thing. </i></div>
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<i>The supporters seethe at this, and say comparison of Hitler and Modi is act of personal vanity,</i></div>
<div>
<i>I will happy to be proved wrong, I say, and maybe it is just a proof of my infinite insanity.</i> </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
As always talking to you felt good. Till we meet again, Goodbye. Au revoir!!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I love you, Sunday. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(Vomiting noises)</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-7351044008630281312013-02-19T02:43:00.000+05:302013-02-19T02:43:35.229+05:30Mahabharat 15: Karan and Eklavya: The Real Heroes - I<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(Its been a while. I know. Hence you can recap it all <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.in/search/label/Mahabharat" target="_blank">here</a>: Its long, its pretty painful, I guess, but well worth the effort I guess). <br />
<br />
Meanwhile, in Hastinapur, the princes continued to study well. Now Drona was not too different from the various different coaching centres of today, he had a special batch of students to whom he himself administered arts, whereas in his academy, there were many other students as well who studied from lesser teachers. Drona's fame had spread far and wide, and soon there were many students who wanted to enter his academy. Princes from other kingdoms all wanted to study in the greatest school in the land, as did sons of charioteers, stableboys and merchants. Everyone who was a someone wanting to achieve glory in war turned up at the Hastinapur School of Weaponry and Warcraft (HSWW - now you know where did JK Rowling borrow her school's name from). <br />
<br />
As you might have guessed by now, HSWW had four houses.For simplicity sake, we will call them: a) the Slytherin House, which housed the Kauravas, b) the Gryffindor House, which housed the Pandavas, c) the Ravenclaw House, which housed all other Princes, and d) the Hufflepuff House, which housed all non-princes. (Author's Note: It is possible that Ravenclaw housed all non-princes while Hufflepuff the Princes and that I might be mistaken, but who really cares about those two - right?) There was a student who was not a member of any of the houses, Dronacharya's son, Ashwathama, who studied with everyone else for free. Houses were graded on various things during classes, such as sports and arts, and everywhere Gryffindor came out on top, despite having only 5 students. Most of these points could be attributed to Arjuna and Bhima, who were favourites of all teachers. <br />
<br />
Now, unlike Hogwarts, where the students from different houses studied together in a class system, HSWW had its own rules which Drona proposed as it suited him. He run the school like his personal fiefdom. We have already encountered the hitherto unspoken Rule 0 of HSWW which went something like this, to put it very crudely: " If you want to be my favourite student and become the best archer in the world, you must make your mother sleep with me. Regularly and discretely. Easier if she is a widow and is hot. Very hot."<br />
<br />
Unfortunately for Drona, none of his other students were as ambitious as Arjuna and despite his repeated hints to mothers of other princes and other females, he failed to bed any of them. Which is when he made the following rule, henceforth called Rule 1 of HSWW: <br />
Drona personally would only teach students of Slytherin and Gryffindor House. Which meant, the Kauravas and the Pandavas.<br />
<br />
The other two houses, took lessons from Kripa, who was good but nowhere as the same quality as Drona. However, because the admission fees were very high, and non-refundable, most students had no option but to continue studying with HSWW. Now the curricular of HSWW was also unlike Hogwarts, students could pursue their courses according to what they wanted. It was upto the teacher, seeing their wards potential, the level to which he would teach a particular student. There were no exams, and HSWW had a set closing date after a very long period, when the final practical tests would be conducted and students would all graduate. <br />
<br />
Like we have already seen, and for reasons best known to us, Arjuna was the fastest learner in Drona's class. He topped in everything related to archery, which was the main weapon, and was capable of massive destruction. (Don't let the simple bow and arrow fool you folks. Archery was the art and science of knowing a zillion <i>mantras </i>which could deploy destruction more than a hundred Hiroshimas and Nagasakis put together.). However, the other Pandavas were not too far behind. Bhima was brilliant in wielding the mace, Yudhistra in the spearcraft, while Nakul and Sahadeva were kind of peerless in swordsmanship. Among the 100 Kauravas, while Duryodhana could challenge Bhima in mace, while Dushasana could challenge Nakul and Sahadeva in swords, the others were pretty big disappointments - and not being the teacher's favourite did not help them much. <br />
<br />
Among the other students in the other classes, there was only one student who was the fastest learner: Karna, the son of a charioteer, was the fastest learner, and was able to grasp concepts very fast. This was the same Karna, who was thrown by Kunti at his birth, and was found floating on the river by Adhirath, a charioteer of Dhritrashtra. He had a golden skin, black hair, was 6'2" tall and looked like Adonis - quite a contrast to the dark-skinned, short and simple looking Adhirath and his wife Radha. However, the couple took to the boy and raised him as their own son, and gave him all the love Karna could ask for. Never once was he told that he was found in the river, and while he sometimes doubted the colour of his skin, and noticed he had two earrings which he could never remove, he never asked questions from his parents. He had a burning ambition: to be the best archer in the world, and become the greatest warrior the world had ever known. It was with this ambition that he had forced his father to spend a large part of his earnings, and plenty of loan from Dhritrashtra to enroll him at HSWW. The Rule No. 1 of HSWW had come to be a big shock to him. Despite the news, however, he really enjoyed his time at HSWW, and made good friends with Ashwathama, who also finally had someone to talk to.<br />
<br />
Ashwathama did not like attending classes with the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses, for his father was teaching there, and seemed to make him work extra hard. He much rather enjoyed the lessons Kripa taught and thrived. Moreover, Ashwathama could never get along with the snobbish princes, who his father always compared him to and seemed enamoured by, while ignoring him and his mother, while the rest of the students at HSWW were not upto his intelligence. Except for Karna, who was intelligent and brave, and confident.<br />
<br />
While Karna did not study under Drona, he would use his friendship with Ashwathama to get access to some study notes written by Drona. Ashwathama would steal them for his friend, Karna would take a day to memorize them, and the papers will be back in Drona's study before Drona ever knew. Ashwathama felt bad for doing this, but his father had always told him their relationship in personal and professional spheres were going to be very different. Ashwathama took his help of Karna as a crusade against the evil principal while at home, he looked on Drona as a caring loving father, who helped him secretly to teach what he was teaching Arjuna, hence helping him to become as good as Arjuna.<br />
<br />
Karna did not boast about his prowess, but all his peers knew he was special, and would goad him by saying things like, "Dude, you are the best. You are better than Arjuna whom everyone talks about. If only Drona would teach you." However, he never expressed his actual talent to Kripa, who only knew him as a normal student, and had trouble remembering his name, just liked he forgot remembering every other students name.<br />
<br />
And then there was Eklavya. Eklavya was son of the <i>Nishad </i>king. <i>Nishads </i>were the tribals who lived in the jungle, dressed up in leaves and bark, and had those wild Afro haircuts. Eklavya was a very talented archer, who had learnt all he could from the peace-loving, hash-smoking Nishads. Like Karan, however, he was very determined and ambitious. And like Karna, he wanted to enroll at HSWW and study from Drona. And so he came upon Drona, and asked him in the most humble of tones, to register him as his student. To which, Drona, who by now, had become filthy rich, and was also growing arrogant told him, "Why should I enroll you? You are a fucking <i>Nishad</i>. You guys have no money. Your women are ugly - while you yourself stink. Give me a good reason to teach you, and I will. Otherwise go away." To which, Eklavya, who was on the burst of tears, answered, "But sir, just give me a chance. I will become the greatest warrior ever. People say I have the talent. " To which, Drona looked at him, and laughed, "And who exactly says that - your <i>Nishad </i>teachers? They are hippies, what have they done other than smoke pot. What degrees do they have? Fuck off, I have to go do some fucking myself. " And so he sent Eklavya away, thinking about Kunti in the interim. (Lets have a poem to introduce some sex in the narrative, shall we?)<br />
<br />
Kunti was waiting eagerly for Drona, as she so often did,<br />
for Vidura had gone impotent, and of him she had rid,<br />
Drona was a stud however, despite that big, white beard,<br />
and she became hornier, as the time for his coming neared.<br />
He made her come many times a single night, and made her see the stars and moon,<br />
he was all she had ever dreamed of in a man, and he made her swoon, <br />
But this relationship was illicit, and she was sad about the fact,<br />
but the sex was so good, that she forgot everything else while in the act.<br />
Even then however, she could not forget her firstborn son, oh what a pretty boy he was, <br />
he must be dead by now, she often worried, and still hadn't overcome her loss. <br />
<br />
So Eklavya, meanwhile, fucked off. To the jungle, where he had huge amounts of hash mixed with pot, and set together to make a statue of Drona. His encounter with his idol ought to have crushed him, but Eklavya was made of sterner stuff. He wanted to prove to Drona that he deserved to study with him, and so he built the statue, and still being high, started practicing archery. For a long time, he practiced, and the entire Nishad kingdom was troubled at their Prince's inactivity. But Eklavya did not stop. All he did was smoke, eat and practice. (And yeah go inside the jungle every morning - that needs to be done, doesnt it?). And he practiced and practiced, and for a brief period of time, became so good that he was the best archer ever. Except that there was noone who could recognize it. One day, when a dog came into their realm where Eklavya was practicing and started barking, Eklavya took 7 arrows at once, and filled the dogs mouth with 7 arrows with one shot to make him stop. This was one of the most difficult maneuvers to manage, but Eklavya pulled it off nonchalantly. The dog was stunned, and turned back. Turned back only a little way, for the dog belonged to Arjuna, The Pandavas had a day off, and it was the House trip, and they had come to the jungle to get in the pants of some <i>Nishad</i> females. Kauravas had managed to fool the Pandavas by making up stories about how easy the <i>Nishad </i>females were to bed. And so the Pandavas found themselves here in the jungle, but this incident put everything else into the back-burner. <br />
<br />
Arjuna came up to Eklavya, and seeing him practice, and the real size statue of Drona, asked him, with a princely - yet very squeaky - voice, "Who did this to my dog?" And Eklavya said, "I did, for he was barking and disturbing me." At which Arjuna asked him, "But who are you, how did you do it, and who is your teacher?" At which, Eklavya introduced himself, but said, "Drona is my teacher." At which Arjuna was stunned, for this particular trick he didn't know. He decided to go back immediately and confront Drona. And he went to his mother, who confronted Drona on his behalf. "How come - when you have promised Arjuna to be the best archer in the world, is another student of you able to do things which he cannot. This is a breach of our trust. Remember on what you will miss. I will also accuse you of rape, if you do not take care of this. Post - Braveheart, you know how it is that they are treating people accused of rape, dont you? Hence take care of this soon, or you are gone."<br />
<br />
Drona was stunned. All his planning was coming to naught. A rape accusation would also mean curtains for his well-established career. His biggest fear however, was being denied the access to Kunti's love spot. He was by now totally obsessed with Kunti, and did not know if he could live without doing her. This had to be stopped and fast, and he had a plan to save himself. It was a small chance to succeed, but it was the only chance. And so he went with Arjuna, back to the jungle, and where Eklavya was practicing. Eklavya saw him, and said, "Guruji, I am honoured that you have come specially to meet me. See I have your statue, and now I think I have proved myself worthy of being taught by you. Did you see my skills? Thank you, I learnt all this from your statue", and taking his bow, he showed his yet-unparalleled skills. (Author's note: This is what happens when you smoke too much. Eklavya had delved on the idea of Drona being a teacher. He was high, and hence was unable to distinguish Drona from the statue). Arjuna was aghast and astonished, but all Drona could see was a lack of Kunti in his life. Hence he said, "Wow you are great. But if you say you are my student, where is my fee? What will you give me as fee?" Eklavya, being high, and joyful, "Sir, you are my teacher. All I have is yours, give me your wish and I will get it for you. I promise it, for I am a Prince too, after all." At which Drona said, "Alright then give me the thumb of your right hand." (Archery requires the right thumb for the arrow is released from the thumb). Eklavya was stunned, . "But sir, how would I then...". So Drona said, "Okay, you said you will give me anything, I was just testing your promise. After all, I never thought a <i>Nishad </i>could keep his word. Leave it. " Hearing this, for he was a prince, and he had promised, and more importantly he was high, he took the knife from Drona, which Drona had brought with him, and smilingly cut off his thumb and told Drona, "Are you happy now, you sonofabitch?". And he said further, I will practice with my other four fingers now. And off he went from there, crushing the statue, and going back to his kingdom. <br />
<br />
Drona was stunned at the outburst from Eklavya, but he had managed to keep Arjuna the best archer in the world, and so Arjuna and Drona both went happily back to their school. Arjuna now had no competitor, or so thought Drona. He could not have been more wrong. As the events during the final examinations were to prove. (To be continued)...</div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-87114532683871731892012-12-05T03:23:00.001+05:302012-12-05T03:23:44.295+05:30The Big O<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
To put it simply, turning 30 is tough. To put it more accurately, turning 30 is very, very tough. A day before I turn 30 is a good time to reflect on it. <br />
<br />
When you are a child, all you want to be is a grown-up. You are fed up of the way your parents and everyone else around you controls your life, and don't allow you to eat that chocolate which has been reserved for guests, or let you play till 9 in the evening. You have waited for years to become old enough to fill your notebooks with nothing else but scores from playing book cricket. People find it difficult to appreciate you enough. You are just a smart kid, rather than a person whose opinion actually matters. Your parents and relatives and everyone else have often told you that you are young, and do not know the world enough. You want to stop them and tell everyone around you, "You know I am old enough now. Stop telling me. I know what to do." <br />
<br />
But then, you realize, you are not old enough. And that you have no idea what to do. And you are turning 30.<br />
<br />
30 is a big age. You remember how when you were a child, your parents had all the answers. They had just turned 30 but they looked so old, and they were responsible adults, who knew exactly how to deal with different people. They knew how to handle the maid, how to talk to the village <i>sarpanch</i>, how to deal with people in marriages, how to deal with deaths in family, how to talk to the sisters of the convent in my school and most importantly - how to handle you. They could navigate through this world seamlessly, without any hiccups. They were able to pass through difficult solutions and knew exactly which <i>puja</i> to conduct when, and what social rituals demanded from them. They knew the value of money and what it meant to earn it. They had theories of honesty, integrity, religion and they shoved it down your throat. And while you cried at every opportunity, you never saw your parents shed tears. Well you did share your mom shed tears sometimes, but somehow you knew those tears were special and had some meaning, unlike your crocodile tears which came up every time you were denied buying a bottle of Pepsi. They were in many ways- and still are - like Superman and Wonder Woman (without the ridiculous outfits ofcourse!). And they were adults. Responsible adults - 30 year old adults.<br />
<br />
You are no Superman. And you are turning 30.<br />
<br />
You are not even close. You suck at social transactions - you still fumble while speaking to any girl you seem to like, and while you pretend you like being an extrovert and partying, you actually suck at it. You have still not managed to call up your first cousin whose mother - your mother's sister in law - just passed away, and offer condolences, and tell him how sorry you are. You are sorry, but well it is just too difficult to talk and you do not know how to proceed with it, something that you thought came naturally to your parents. You do not know what to gift one of your best friends on his wedding, and are most likely to go there empty-handed - like you have done before in your other friend's wedding. You have little social relationships as compared to your parents - and even your family interactions are minimal. There are so many situations you have no idea how to handle. You feel embarrassed to admit it, but you know you have somehow not aged enough. All you really know is how to drink and appreciate some good beer and solve crosswords. And maybe solve some Analytics and data problems for your clients. You spend your weekends playing FIFA and watching sports, things you wanted to do as a child. Your life rocks, but you know you are in a cocoon. And your parents, who are after you to get married, want to get you out of it. <br />
<br />
And so far, you have always told yourself and them, "I am not yet 30. I can live with this. I am yet to become a <i>proper </i>adult."<br />
<br />
But right now, today, or rather tomorrow, you are running out of the excuse.<br />
<br />
Turning 30 is very, very tough. It does not mark you as being responsible. All it means is that your excuses for being irresponsible are over.<br />
<br />
And you absolutely hate it. <br />
<br />
The other reason, of course, why turning 30 is so tough is because it makes you realize that maybe, just maybe, your parents were as clueless about you when they were 30. And that they just put up a brave face in front of you. And that they were not Superman and Wonder Woman, but rather ordinary human beings.<br />
<br />
But like the life of Pi tell you,you go along with the better story - so Superman and Wonder Woman it is. And that they have somehow connived to produce someone who has no superpowers.<br />
<br />
This just sucks!! <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-66161442706771021502012-09-24T03:39:00.002+05:302012-09-24T03:40:17.078+05:30A theory of rape<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(Disclaimer: This post does not mean to trivialize the serious issue of women safety and sexual exploitation. Admittedly, I have done only some research on this matter, and do not personally know (<i>thankfully</i>) any rapist and/or rape victims. As with all my other blog posts, this is just <i>my</i> thoughts on the matter, and if you think it is an anti-woman piece, you can just read the previous blog post, which is to say, I don't ____ _ ____, This is a guy's perspective. I condemn rape in the strongest possible way. This is just an attempt to understand why it happens).<br />
<br />
So the other day we were at Striker, the neighbourhood bar/club. Now Striker post 10 p.m. has a nightclub feel about it on most days - there are the usual shitty Justin Bieberesque songs played by the in-house DJ on which girls and ladies (mostly married 35+ aunties, albeit <i>hot</i> aunties, come to think of it), are grinding into each other and into strange young men. It is a pretty disturbing sight to be honest, but somehow exciting too, if you know what I mean. And while I can honestly claim I totally abhor the music the DJ plays, I am somehow there often, as you might have guessed if you are on my Facebook friends list and get annoyed by my posts about semi clad women. I admit I am there only for the beer, but a little (or a lot) of eye candy never hurt anyone. But that day was a Thursday, which meant that an awesome band (<i>Traffic Jam, </i>which if you are in Gurgaon, you must listen to) was playing awesome rock songs, covering everything from Rolling Stones to Tracy Chapman. And which more significantly, meant that there were not many women in there. (I have a theory about the quality of music and the quality and quantity of girls in a place, and the fact that it is an inverse relation. Something to the tune of Quality(Music)* Quality(Girls)* Quantity(Girls) = constant. But that is a theory for another day - and probably another blog post). In fact, and perhaps linked to this fact, was that there were not many people in the place that day. Only 75% of the tables were occupied, which for Striker, is seriously under-crowded. Which made us - a group of five - the only ones head-banging on the music <i>Traffic Jam</i> played. So well there was good beer, good music and we were very decently high. Not really Mount Everest high, but maybe Mount Kilimanjaro high. Almost no hot girls, but we were not disappointed due to the quality of music.<br />
<br />
But by 12 p.m., the band had ended, while the DJ came into his own elements, and in came three girls, all in the 8.5+ ratings category - or that is what it seemed to us in that woman-devoid place. Moreover, beer is a Aphrodisiac. However to us at that point of time, they seemed very hot, and surprise, surprise they had no guy along with them. And they were wearing some really awesome clothes, those western summer dresses which somehow magically disappear twelve inches above the knee, exposing some very nice flesh. So because by then the DJ had started his usual shit music, these girls decided to get up and dance, and well - while it shames me to admit it - we were dancing to that music. Mainly because we were high, and in no way to distinguish between good and bad music. Good and bad looking girls, however, we could still distinguish, and so one of us, a pioneer if there was one, decided it was a good idea to go and dance near to these three girls.<br />
<br />
Now normally, I am a big believer in knowing what's within your league, and those girls were clearly out of ours. I mean, 8.5+. However, I also am a believer in my own theory of the drinking-confidence scale (as illustrated here, <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.in/2010/12/drinking-conundrum.html">http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.in/2010/12/drinking-conundrum.html</a>) and I was confident (drunk) enough. Moreover, those girls seemed well Westernised, and I remembered my France days, and how I could talk to women easily there. So well, there I was all ready to talk to them (more like blabber), and I was sure they wouldn't mind. And so I followed the pioneer, with another fellow right behind me, and stood next to where these girls were dancing.<br />
<br />
All it took was one look. One look from those three girls, and I knew they were eyeing us with derision. A look you reserve for complete losers. A look that said - "Look at these losers - come to dance with us. With us. How dare you, you scum of the earth." One look (actually three looks, when you count them) was enough to take us back to our seats, to our one true love - beer. I was just having a complete uv- ajed moment. This had never happened to me before, not in France anyways. There women would at least talk to me. And I never got that look. And these women looked westernised enough, I thought. They must be open enough to have guys try and talk to them in a nightclub. But here their Indian values suddenly seemed to come into the picture. It was pure hypocrisy, I thought. And then they accuse guys of not being modern enough!!<br />
<br />
But we were the nice guys and so we came back to the table and faced our one true love - our beer mugs. However, the entire incident just made me wonder on the hypocrisy of Indian girls, and made me imagine how a group of Jats from rural Haryana would have responded to that look, and what I concluded was not exactly pleasant - and that's how my theory evolved.<br />
<br />
Now, it is the opinion in many newspapers that Delhi and adjoining areas is the unofficial, de-facto rape capital of the country. Moreover, there is also a growing voice among the pro-women groups that India as a country is unsafe for women. I think the second statement is definitely wrong, for statistical reasons. Statistically, the number of rapes reported annually in India is second highest at 22000 rapes reported annually (after, surprisingly, the United States - which has 4 times more reported cases), and is far more than other countries. However, on a per capita basis, even more surprisingly, India is the seventeenth safest country with the least rapes/million population. Statistically, India is safer than (among others) USA, UK, Sweden, Hong Kong and my favourite, France. <br />
<br />
It can't be right, surely. You would assume that India is such high on the "safe place for women" list mainly because most of the rapes are not reported. However, the funny part is that even if only 10% of the rapes are being reported, India would still be statistically be safer for women than both US and UK, and only slightly unsafe than France. Which puts a whole new spell on things, doesn't it? Let us assume then that statistics lie, and seek answer to the question, "Why so many women get raped in India, more so in Delhi/NCR?"<br />
<br />
So, well what exactly is a rapist thinking? Maybe men do it because they can get away with it, maybe it is just pure frustration at not getting regular sex, maybe its just uncontrolled temptation, or maybe it is a factor of respect for women. Not to mention the odd psychopath. In other words the probability of rape will follow the following equation:
<br />
<br />
P(rape) = f(frustration)*f(titillation)*f(psychopaths)/(f(woman's respect in society)*f(law abiding))<br />
<br />
So well rape will be more in a society with more frustration and titillation, while less in a society with more respect for women and law abiding citizens. In most cases though, frustration and titillation are opposite factors. Society with higher frustration have low titillation levels (like Arab societies), while society with high titillation levels have low frustration levels (Thailand, South America, the list goes on). Rapes then become more a case of psychopaths because in most societies women are respected and are at par with men.<br />
<br />
However, what probably sets India apart and makes it more unsafe is that it is probably in India that most rapes are not done by psychopaths and/or people who know the victim. India probably stands out in that rapes are isolated events caused by seemingly normal people to absolute strangers - such as the incidents in the car driven all around Delhi you read about in the news. It is because our law and order is a total failure which abets this to an extent, but our country is unique in the fact that frustration and titillation levels here are both high.<br />
<br />
In Haryana, for example, there is not much of a concept of respect for women. Women are the weaker sex, and are expected to cave in to men's demands. This is the attitude that has been passed on for centuries, and certain Bollywood movies, and their item numbers have done nothing to suppress this widely popular notion. This is the mindset which runs through most of Bharat, which has not picked up pace as far as social liberalization is concerned. A woman in Bharat is now thankfully not expected to stay home, but is expected to go out and work. However, if she wears much of western dresses and talks to men, she is still very easily termed a slut. A man still has more rights than a woman in Bharat.<br />
<br />
Moreover, our country is not very high on law abiding citizens. We often take advantage of whatever leeway we can get. We don't think much of our laws, and believe we can escape them. The "<i>tu jaanta nahin main kaun hoon" </i>philosophy which is entrenched not just in Bharat, but also in India, makes us perfect candidates for people to take the law into their own hands, and impress women - literally - with their "power".<br />
<br />
India, the India we live in, is however much more socially liberalized. Most women living in India - and with it I mean the think themselves to be born in New York or Paris, or atleast their clothes indicate so. There seems to be a race to determine who can put the most skin on display in Saket City Walk or Hauz Khas Village, for example, and often, it is difficult to determine the winner. Don't get me wrong, they are welcome to wear all they want, and if I personally were to choose, the lesser the better. But it has some very unpleasant consequence. These girls tempt. They titillate.<br />
<br />
The problem is that in Delhi/NCR, India and Bharat are very close together. A man from Bharat, who experiences he has infinite power over womankind, but who also knows he cannot touch these upper and high middle class girls who have tempted him so, has somewhere to let his sexual energy go. In a completely lawful/woman respecting society, he will probably go home, shag himself and go to sleep. But India, and Bharat, sadly are not completely lawful. And a Bharat man is, as explained before, not exactly woman respecting. So while he does not have the guts to catch one of these Saket chicks, he gets horny on the first woman he can get away with, irrespective of what she is wearing. And this is what causes so many rapes.<br />
<br />
So indirectly, yeah, in Delhi/NCR at least, what women wear does contribute to rape.<br />
<br />
In other parts of Bharat, it is movies/item songs that provide the same effect. They tempt and titillate. And some innocent powerless soul is the victim.<br />
<br />
Come to think of it, legalizing prostitution might be a good way to stop it. It will lessen frustration for one, and the probability of rape will come down. <br />
<br />
(Disclaimer II: I can't write any more, but I guess I have made my point. Looking forward to your comments).<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-75420131234601135352012-08-21T03:36:00.001+05:302012-08-21T03:36:33.228+05:30I don't give a &^$#<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
(Disclaimer: This is one of those me, myself and I posts. The kind of sad, introspective posts which were the bread and butter of this blog before I started writing the Mahabharata series and the theory posts. So if you are here for satisfying your dirty fantasies regarding those hot, semi clad princesses in ancient India, click on the Mahabharata label link on the right, and if you are looking for some theories to explain particular aspects of life, click on the theory link, again on the right. If you want to still read on, do so. After all, I don't really give a &^$#).<br />
<br />
I am not much of a shopper. I prefer spending my money the old fashioned way of food and alcohol rather than on the latest gadgets, shoes and clothes, which I do not buy until it is extremely necessary. I am not a spur of the moment buyer, and need to be very sure of the utility of the object bought. I haven't bought a new gadget in two years despite my phone and laptop both being in conditions which would make the refugees in Assam look like living in heaven. The less I talk about my clothes the better, especially as they have to deal with me, a person who cannot go through a day without dropping food/tea/beer on my shirt. Probably, the most I spend on after food and alcohol is books, which tells you just how expensive books have become today because I do not read that much as well. And which also tell you how few clothes I own, and makes you question how cheap I am, the answer to which would be very. <br />
<br />
Shopping for me is a very structured process of first identifying the need and then establishing what would fulfill the need. The "shopping" process, then, is generally going to the first shop which would give me what I want, and buying the desired object. I cannot envisage going through different storerooms and/or online stores to buy the perfect match. If one word describes me the most, its probably unstructured, but somehow, unlike everything else in my life, I hate chaos when it comes to shopping. And which is probably why I hate on-the-spur buying.<br />
<br />
Having said that, my last major buy was surprisingly a spur of the moment buy. It was this T-shirt I bought in Goa. A friend was buying it - and when he showed it to me, I really liked it, and got my size as well and was soon the proud owner of a brand new T-shirt.This was what the T-shirt looks like: The front side of the T-shirt has a silhouette of a man raising his middle finger. The words "I don't give a fuck" occupy the top left. The back of the T-shirt is plain, with just the words "I don't give a fuck" again in a smaller font at the top.<br />
<br />
I got lucky. The two t-shirts are entirely similar, except that the T-shirt my friend had bought says "I don't give a fcuk". It says <i>Fcuk</i>. Like the clothing company. The censored version I suppose. On both the front and the back. It does not even make any sense, come to think of it. But my shirt does not mince any words. It tells anyone who cares to read it exactly what I think : "I don't give a fuck." The message could not be clearer. If it is meant to be a message that is. What is it I don't give a fuck about? I do not know, but somehow those five words seem very true.<br />
<br />
I see myself as a happy-go-lucky person. While most early readers of this blog would probably disagree with this assessment, but I think I have always been a believer in the Que Sera Sera philosophy. Whatever will be, will be. I am kind of inspired by the song "<i>Aane waala kal jaane waala hai" </i>which encapsulates everything there is to know about life. Live in the moment. And the Beatles Classic, "Let it be". Take the three together, and you come to realize, that you are too small, world's too vast, and that you cannot change anything. And hence, live in the moment, be happy, and let things be. Which is to say, there is not point in giving a fuck about anything. And hence, I do not give a fuck.<br />
<br />
Perhaps I never really gave a fuck. I never desired much and hence lived a very contented, happy life. I spent most of my school days in classroom playing book cricket and filling pages after pages of mine and my friends' notebooks with imaginary world cup scorecards. I made my own book cricket rules which helped me define a 50 over match. The only time I paid attention in classes was when I was made to sit in the front seat or when I was made to read for the entire class - something I loved doing. I did not really do my homework all that earnestly either. My house is in a fairly isolated place, and I filled up most of my afternoons imitating those legendary Stefan Edberg - Boris Becker Wimbledon finals with a plastic ball and a wooden tennis racket against the wall. I had rules for the tennis points as well, and I did make my own tennis scorecard too, something in which Edberg always won. When my parents told me to study, I went to my room and started completing the World Cup of book cricket, or started browsing through the Atlas and prepared statistical charts of area, population and density. Did you know Sweden was the 49th largest country in the world by area? I did, and had my charts ready for reference. I had world lists, continental lists and country lists. All in all, I had the perfect counterfoil to study time - the non-study time.<br />
<br />
All this meant that I did not really study nearly as much as I was supposed to. Luckily however, it was enough for me to do well through school, where I never finished lower than second in my class. I never did finish first either, but second was beyond satisfactory for me. I was coming second without any effort, then why put in the extra effort and come first in class was a logic I could not understand. And despite the pleas of my parents and relatives and friends and everyone around me, I just did enough to keep coming second.<br />
<br />
And this continued till the 10th standard. My friends were in awe of me doing well without putting in much effort, and my ego fed off it. Who wanted to be the studious topper when you could be the stud second place holder? However, I did put in some additional, extra effort for the board examinations, as they were supposed to be a marker of real "intelligence". The result: I still ended up 2nd in school. And so I lost whatever little respect I had for working hard, or putting effort. I had tried hard to come first, for the first time in my life, but I had failed.<br />
<br />
10th was easy, but 11th and 12th were infinitely more difficult. However, I had my ego to boost and hence my efforts were still fairly lesser than what was required. I was in a hostel now as well, in Chandigarh, and card games and cricket replaced the traditional timepasses. Instead of wasting time in class, I started bunking classes. The results were that my performance in class plummeted, but I still managed to get good grades somehow in some tuition classes. I remember preparing for 12th board exams with nightouts playing sweep with juniors. I was very under-prepared for JEE, but just managed a rank which told me I was not totally worthless. It was a rank that was worthless but it was a rank nonetheless. And getting a rank in JEE, where a lot of my other hardworking classmates and hostel-mates had failed, only helped feed my ego more. But I also knew I had to work hard for it. This was not going to be like 10th.<br />
<br />
And so for almost a year, I really did give a fuck. About JEE. About doing well. I never thought I could get over friends and company and television, but for that one year, I left it all. Only studied. Physics, Chemistry and Maths became my friends. I could see the benzene rings in my dreams after reading Morrison and Boyd. And got through JEE. And into IIT Delhi. There was so much more to do here than study. I wanted to discover myself. Play tennis, squash, get into dramatics, go quizzing, excel at Word games. And IIT gave me a chance to do all that.<br />
<br />
So I stopped giving a fuck about studies. I barely passed courses, I failed courses, but it did not matter. I was living the dream. IIT was about all round development, and I had become so engrossed in that. I really cared about my hostel winning events, about dominating politics, about winning sports. And that was all I cared about. And the four years passed away in bliss, and in recurring periods of happiness and sadness, depending on how <i>Kara</i> did in various events. I did well in certain courses as well, courses I liked inherently, like Probability and Statistics, and Mechanics. These courses again reinforced in my friends the potential I had, and they tried to tell me to apply it better. But I never cared. Why become a <i>Maggu, </i>I thought, when you could get a good return on investment. Passing 5/6 courses each term without studying is a big achievement in IIT, and I managed that. It was good. Even though it led to me passing out in four and a half years, that too after crying with the professor.<br />
<br />
Then came the placement time, and the realization that the world really did not give a fuck over how Karakoram had done in various events. All the world really cared about was grades. And I did not have them. But by then, I had this blog, and as this blog emphasized, I did not really give a fuck about salary either. And so it has been.<br />
<br />
To cut a long story short, the only thing I have really cared about ever since, have been wasting my time and life going after two girls in college. Nothing ever came from all the effort I put in. "I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end it doesn't even matter" seemed to be written directly for me. Again, I had fought hard for something, and failed. For me, trying became a synonym for failure, and publicly acclaimed failure, while not trying became a symbol of studness.<br />
<br />
And so I stopped trying. On anything. IIM happened. I was inherently good in cracking CAT questions. Alcohol did the rest. Ernst and Young interview happened on a resume I had not revised for one and a half years, and alcohol. And over time I completely stopped giving a fuck over anything. Taking things as they come. Being happy, and enjoying myself. When Ernst & Young became painful, I quit, not caring about what to do. I lived in the moment.<br />
<br />
And thats the way life has been. Its good. Its happy. Except that I have grown very fat because of this. Its probably time to say I give a fuck again. Get thin, and then get back to not giving a fuck anymore. About anything else. Here's to a healthy lifestyle.<br />
<br />
(I am thinking of using the T-shirt as a pickup prop. Go to a hot girl in Striker and ask her, "Do you give a fuck?" If she says yes, ask for it. If no, tell her she and you are two of a kind, and you should flock together. Either way a win-win).<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-78123551886015583292012-05-09T23:24:00.000+05:302012-05-10T10:04:46.443+05:30Of marriage, fitness and a plea :).<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
So well, everyone seems to have gone mad. I mean, literally everyone.<br />
<br />
Everyone I talk to someone in my family, all they can talk about is me getting married and getting thin. When? Why? Or rather, Why not? are some of the common themes that dominate the discussion. And this is the horror part: Unlike the heroes from Saki and Wodehouse stories, I dont only have to content with a large number of aunts, but also cousins of both genders and their spouses. It is like everyone married has only one agenda left - to get me married. Here is what any conversation with a relative looks like after the usual conversation courtesies have burned out:<br />
<br />
Me: So wassup?<br />
Family Member (FM): So what did you think about getting married?<br />
Me: Nothing so far.<br />
FM: Why?<br />
Me: Why should I?<br />
FM: Why not?<br />
Me: Because I am happy.<br />
FM: What sort of reason is this? No, you are supposed to get married. You wont be able to get married later. Just lose a little bit of weight, I have a girl in mind for you. She is beautiful, smart and ....<br />
Me (I think the lust just starts showing on my face after a while and I am like, a bit too eager): So lets meet. Introduce me.<br />
FM: No, tell us are you ready or not. Should we talk?<br />
Me: If she is hot, then yeah. Definitely.<br />
FM: Okay, then lose weight ASAP.<br />
Me: Okay, make me meet her, show me her picture atleast - and then, if she inspires me enough I can get thin.<br />
FM: No it doesnt work this way.<br />
Me: Okay, your loss. I am happy the way I am.<br />
FM: No, that is not the right answer. Get married soon. Give us a timeline.<br />
Me: I haven't thought about it. Maybe I will get back to you.<br />
FM: Okay, you have 2 months. Decide and let me know.<br />
<br />
It is as if, everyone's problem would be resolved if they were to absolve me of my happiness. Sadly, it does not work that way, my dear relatives. Live and let live.<br />
<br />
One thing that really gets to me is how my relatives link getting thin and getting married
together. I would like to counter this with some deep-rooted analysis: <br />
<br />
<br />
This piece of work below is the result of a very honest analysis that I have managed to figure out. It might seem kind of boastful, but I am just being honest :). <br />
<br />
I would rate myself a 7 on the success parameter. I might not be a founder of flipkart or Snapdeal, but I believe I am doing better than a lot of single people. I mean, what advantage is the IIT-IIM if it cant give you success? And while I have made some bad choices in life, I am still pretty much happy and satisfied with where I am on a professional level right now.<br />
I believe I am a fairly intelligent individual,
and have a pretty decent sense of humour, which explains my pretty active social life and the fact that I am able to garner friends quickly. I have realised I am not the loser I thought I was, and that I am socially pretty adept. I would like to believe that most people who know me like me, and I would rate myself a 8 on my social skills. I am a fairly good conversationalist (unless I happen to talk to really hot girls, which is when I become tongue twisted) and a pretty decent writer. I am also pretty good at roughly everything I try out, being a decent squash, tennis and football player. Not world beater, but better than average in roughly everything I do. I can be a bit childish at times, and I can be really serious and moody at others, and this is where I believe I lose the two rating points. <br />
One of the big pluses that I see in myself is that deep down, I am a really nice guy. I have turned into a cynic over the past seven years or so - as reading this blog will tell you - but I still believe there are elements in me of the optimistic child who grew in Dharamshala believing in all the value and ethics systems that my middle class parents taught me. I might not be a perfect person, (and nowhere close to <i>Sanju</i> from <i>Jo Jeeta Wohee Sikandar,</i> which is how I imagined I would grow up to be, crooning <i>Pehla Nasha</i> for some special someone), but other than the really few occasions, where I have hurt people thoroughly under the influence of alcohol, I am a pretty good person. I have done a few deeds I regret, but I believe noone who knows me thinks of me as <i>Haraami </i>despite my best efforts. And hence I rate myself a 8 on niceness quotient. <br />
Even look wise, I might be a
5, but I have the potential to be a 7 at least. A potential which is
untapped because I am fat. And, which, apparently is the reason for me to be single, or so what people would have me believe.<br />
Taking an average of the 4, (and I believe for a woman, the first three parameters are more important that the third, so a simple average would be biased against me), I still score a credible 7. I am, in a nutshell, a 7 out of 10 guy. Kinda above average. <br />
<br />
Now let us look at the kind of girl I want. <br />
<br />
The most important parameter for me is looks, and I will prefer a 8 here. I believe anything above 8 would be too hot to handle, while I wont be able to engage myself with someone less than a 8. For me hotness is a factor. Makes me look like a shallow guy, but that is who I am. (and probably why I lost 2 points on the niceness quotient). <br />
A 5 on the success factor would do. I would want someone who is not very driven, and who likes to chill out and enjoy life. For whom, money is not much of a criteria.<br />
I would want a girl who is really nice - and I mean, a take-to-home kinda nice but also a will drink-with-you-in-club kinda nice. A chill out girl, who isn't afraid to drink once in a while, and who will not stop me for doing it more often than once a while. And a girl who is more than happy to dress up in <i>salwar kameez</i> in front of my parents. I know I sound like a MCP out here, but like I said, I have more middle class blood within me that this blog generally lets you know. I am a traditional guy more than you would imagine. Hence, I want a 8 on the nice parameter.<br />
I want a girl who is a 7 on social skills. I do not want a girl who is too socially active, as, honestly, it would make me feel uncomfortable. Again the middle class upbringing rising to the forte. But I would expect her to be able to talk comfortably with me and our friends about topics ranging from Timbuktu to Tata.<br />
<br />
Taking an average of the 4 qualities I want in a girl, and it comes out to a ...voila...a 7. I am looking for a 7 out of a 10 gal. So well, I am a 7/10 guy looking for a 7/10 girl. Is it too much to ask?<br />
<br />
And so here's a plea:<br />
<br />
If you know of a girl who meets these criterias and who has criteria which meet my attributes, please hook us up. :D.<br />
<br />
And Mama and Papa, Uncles and Aunties, Bhaiyas and Bhabhis, Didis and Jijajis, please read this. And then find me a girl :D. <br />
<br /></div>zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-89814698480744642852012-02-12T17:57:00.004+05:302012-02-14T09:33:36.002+05:30Of Valentine's Day and Other HeartbreaksWhen I was 12, my cousin first told me about Valentine's Day. "It is a day where you can propose to any girl", he said, "and she will have to say yes". This was a God sent opportunity for someone like me, who had just been initiated to the entire dating scenario. There were a couple of girls in class who I had developed huge crushes on. However, the fear of rejection held me from doing absolutely anything about it. Now, this Valentine's Day was apparently the way forward. Sadly, my school, being in the mountains, was closed during the winters, and I missed celebrating Valentine's Day with the girls I most wanted to during that time. It was also the days before mobile phones became such a rage, so I could not text them out as well. So I spent most of my next 4 V-days just wishing what could have been. <br />After finishing my 10th from school, I went to Chandigarh - taking admission into DAV College, which I believed at that time, to be a CoEd. <br />By the time I reached Chandigarh, my huge crushes had petered out, and I looked forward to dating the hot Chandigarh girls you hear so much about. Imagine my surprise, when I found out that the college I had enrolled in with much expectations was a Boy's only college, a fact that was reiterated and impressed to us over the five day ragging (Yeah, nothing like the IIT "Healthy Interaction" shit - this was ragging) period in the Boy's Only hostel. Over time, the hostel became the major points of community life - and cricket, and sweep, and <span style="font-style:italic;">Debonair, Letters to Penthouse and Fantasy</span> were the major pastimes. <br />Thank God for tuition and the tutors. These were the only places where we could interact with those Chandigarh chicks. And boy, were they hot!! However, being a shy, rotund, awkward 16 year old meant I never had the courage to ask anyone out - and I waited excitedly for Valentine's Day. And I wasn't the only one. There were other people in the hostel making exciting plans for Valentine's Day and finding girls. There was this girl in my tuition I had a crush on - and I thought she would be the perfect target to try out on Valentine's Day. I had never really talked to her before - but she looked really friendly, and often smiled at me. I was very sure she was the one for me, and that I was deep in love with her. So on the allotted day, during the Chemistry tuition, as she sat next to me, I asked her out, through a passed on slip - asking her if she wanted coffee - and to my horror, she wrote a big NO, and smiled at me. I wanted to explain her the concept my cousin had told me years before - she was not supposed to say NO. However, I was too sad to argue, and took the NO slip, and smiled back. That same day, after tuition, I saw her talk to this St. John's alumnus, and they went off in his motorbike. While I was the heartbroken kid you hear about in American Pie. <br />I remember crying that day, or something to that general effect. Could there be a worse feeling than being rejected on Valentine's Day, I wondered. Luckily I was not the only one. There were a couple of other hostel guys who had tried their luck at the Chandigarh girls, and all of them had been rejected, which kind of alleviated the pain. We wondered what we had done wrong to be rejected on V-day, of all days. It was then we realised that there is nothing special about Valentine's Day, and that Feb 14 was just a random date, albeit one, which came exactly nine months before Children's Day. <br />Time, they say, heals everything, and this pain was also healed pretty soon. What I had imagined to be true love turned out to be nothing more than lust. Plenty of it, but still pure lust. <br />That day, however, I lost all respect for Valentine's Day. It had promised me heaven, but had delivered nothing. I have never celebrated Valentine's Day since (Not that I have had someone to celebrate it with, but that is a separate story altogether). I had lost my faith in St. Valentines. He was a cheat, someone who just wanted to sell more cards, cakes and chocolates. Over time, I have had other crushes, some more than crushes, but I have never went the St. Valentine's way. I have asked girls out without his help, and done quite well. <br />One thing that has happened since, and it is a pretty late development, is that I have even lost all respect for the word love. Like a friend in IIT once said, "Only unrequited love is true love, requited love is just lust." I believe both unrequited and requited love are overrated and are hyped out by the same people who had hyped Valentine's Day earlier. <br />As those who have read the first posts on this particular blog will testify, there was a time when I believed in the whole concept of love. Now I don't. Love for me has also become just another asset, much like money, which is more shown-off than actually felt. Watching movies like <span style="font-style:italic;">Pyaar ka Panchnama<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> has actually helped, and made me feel happier for my single status. I am yet to meet a perfectly happy married or committed man. <br />Because, over time, I have come to realise that love and Cupid, are hand in hand with St. Valentines. They only want to sell more cards, cakes and chocolates. <br />Which is why, when my facebook status reads: "I love Valentine's Day. It makes me so much relatively richer as compared to all my other married and committed friends." I believe it. <br />Here's to another year of an awesomely single life!!zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-23893139306958053552011-11-07T01:50:00.011+05:302011-11-08T11:59:52.871+05:30Mahabharat 14: Krishna's Awesomeness(The standard disclaimers apply. Do not read if below 18 years of age). <br /><br />(A quick recap: Krishna and Balarama grew up in the village, herding cows for a living. They foiled many attempts of Kamsa to kill them, Krishna using his divine powers in most cases. Finally, Kamsa invited them both to Mathura in order to have them killed, but instead got killed by Krishna.)<br /><br />Now, Krishna was much like Tiger Woods: he was black, he was a genius, and a real womanizer, much in the Tiger Woods mode. Back in the time when he was growing up in the village under cover, he had affairs with many village girls at the same time, a practice that's remembered in India as "<span style="font-style:italic;">Ras Lila</span>". He used to seduce girls through a 3P strategy: a mix of philosophy, poems and perverseness. He also had a flute, which he used to sing these small songs he wrote himself. Here are a few examples (translated from Sanskrit): <br /><br />Happiness is a state of mind,<br />And mine is pretty easy to find,<br />if only you will be very kind,<br />and show me your naked behind.<br /><br />Radha, you are the only girl in my life,<br />and I want to make you my wife,<br />but before we settle down in our own cozy home,<br />lets have some fun, and involve Rita in a smashing threesome.<br /><br />Needless to say, he had his way with women. He had managed to impress himself (pun intended) on every girl he knew in the village - which for a cowherd was unheard for. Which is why they had cried when he had left for Mathura and had not promised to return back. <br /><br />He looked forward to greener pastures, in a manner of speaking. City girls were way hotter, he had heard, and wore clothes that left little to the imagination. They were often more experimental too, from what little he had read. He had often imagined different positions from the Kamasutra that he could try, but had been unable to get Radha or any of his other beloveds to try them, despite writing songs about them. He had heard that city girls would try anything, and he looked forward to it. But before that a lot of work had to be done - politically. <br /><br />Krishna, as mentioned <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.com/2007/12http://www.blogger.com/img/here/mahabharata-8-birth-of-krishna.html"></a>, having killed his maternal uncle, Kamsa, refused the throne of Mathura for himself - as was wanted by the people of Mathura - instead giving it back to his grandfather Ugrasen. This was a move that did not please many people who wanted Krishna to be the king - one person had even threatened to commit suicide if Krishna did not become the king. However, Krishna remained adamant, and slowly the people of Mathura accepted Krishna's decision as final, and agreed to Ugrasen as king. Now Ugrasen was an old, bearded, silent man - some recent excavations at Mathura reveal that he looked a lot like Mr. Manmohan Singh - and he did not have much of the power, which was concentrated between Krishna and Balarama, who were both named Princes. This suited both of them, for they had all the power without any responsibility. Krishna wanted to be able to enjoy the city girls in the same way he had the village girls and felt his indiscretions as king would be well-publicized. (Editor's Note: For all those people who claim Sonia Gandhi is not Indian enough, how could she have the brainwave of refusing the post of Prime Minister had she not read the Mahabharat and known this particular incident?)<br /><br />Krishna was the brains, Balarama the brawn - and they formed a solid team. <br /> <br />The people of Mathura were overjoyed to have Krishna and Balarama instead of Kamsa. The reign of Kamsa saw high tax rates, and the public suffered as a result. Inflation was also rampant, and the common man reeled from effects of daily price rise and oil rate hike. Moreover, Kamsa was among other things, a sex maniac, and no girl was safe from his predations. His acts had spurred a number of parents in Mathura to kill the girl child as soon as she was born - the first recorded history of female infanticide in India. However, with Krishna and Balarama at the helm, people felt much safer, and one of the first popular decisions that the two princes took was to decrease the tax burden - bringing down taxes by as much as 90%. They also banned female infanticide. Bringing down inflation was the top priority of Krishna, who doubled as the Finance and External Affairs Minister, while Balarama looked after departments of Home and Defence. Mathura looked forward to times of peace and prosperity, while the two princes looked forward to enjoy their princely rights - having had a tough childhood in the village. <br /><br />However, Mathura was immediately under threat. The powerful king of Magadha, Jarasandha, who was one of the most powerful kings in history, was the father-in-law of Kamsa, and by making his 2 daughters widows, Krishna had made himself a sworn enemy. Jarasandha, with an assortment of armies from his many vassal kings, launched an attack on Mathura. There were 100:1 odds offered by bookies against Mathura's survival against such onslaught (Yep, for those of you wondering, betting was prevalent even back then), but Balarama's valour and Krishna's strategy won the day. <br /><br />However, Jarasandha was not finished, and he gave Krishna and Balarama no respite, attacking them 17 times in a short time, being dragged back each time, but barely giving the princes time to enjoy any of the princely rights they were hoping to enjoy. Jarasandha had a large army, and he was on the verge of attacking Matura for the 18th time. Moreover, war cost money, and soon tax was raised to a level higher than it was during Kamsa's time, which plummetted the ratings of the new princes to a new low level. Inflation ran rampant, and the conditions of the common man worsened. Moreover, a number of men died defending Mathura, and Mathura was soon running out of resources.<br /><br />Something needed to be done: and so Krishna came up with a new strategy - the move of the capital away from Mathura. Using his divine powers, and the divine architecture, Vishwakarma, he built a new city in Dwarka, which was on the far west corner of India, and as far away from Magadha as possible, and overnight shifted the population from Mathura to Dwarka. (Editor's Note: This is where Indian history scores over Christian and Jewish history. Moses took 40 years of voyage to deliver Jews into the promised land. Krishna did the same distance, and moved more number of people overnight. India rocks!!). <br /><br />The people of Mathura were kind of surprised when they woke up the next day, but soon they settled and finally looked to long periods of peace and prosperity. And no taxes, for Dwarka was built on an island which had large deposits of oil. Oil income drove the revenues and Dwarka became the ancient day Dubai. While Dwarka thrived and prospered, the two princes got down to pursue their princely pleasures. <br /><br />Which for Krishna meant, a whole swinging party. He was tall, dark and handsome, and a prince on top of that. Girls threw themselves at him, and he was not the one complaining. He started enjoying life to the hilt, and would soon have 16108 wives, which would make him the most well satisfied men in the history of the world - leaving behind such well known names like Charlie Sheen, Wilt Chamberlain and N.D. Tiwari far behind. <br /><br />To cut it short, Krishna had an awesome life. As this couplet, translated from Sanskrit, reveals. <br /><br />I have made love to a sixteen thousand women,<br />and one hundred and eight more, <br />I have tried all positions in the Kamasutra,<br />either soft or hardcore.zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com82tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-40778950506519412252011-10-16T22:52:00.005+05:302012-02-12T17:55:19.501+05:30A tribute to awesomenessIt has been a rather tragic last month. Steve Jobs, Jagjit Singh and Dennis Ritchie (no, not Denise Richards) all dead. A lot has been written and said about their deaths - and they were the <span style="font-style:italic;">numero uno</span> in their respective fields. For me personally, however, none of these deaths has had a very specific impact. I have never used Apple except for the Ipod Nano - and I am pretty happy to own it, but I was as happy with the Creative MP3 player I had before. I do not quite understand the aesthetics which make Apple products in general, and Steve Jobs in particular, such a rage everywhere. I think the loss of Jagjit Singh is a pretty big loss to the Ghazal world, but my Ghazal period is well past me now, and I do not think I was going to try any of his newer ghazals were they to come out. About Dennis Ritchie, I had no idea who he was until he died. I recoiled in horror when I thought that Denise Richards had died though, for who can get bored of that amazing Wild Things scene. And the less said of my programming skills the better. <br />But what cannot be denied is that the world is three amazing men short, and in today's world, where amazing people are hard to come by, it is a tragedy of the highest order. <br />In spite of all these tragedies abounding the world, the most tragic event in the previous month for me has been the decision of REM to call it a day. <br /><br />I am by no means a passionate fan, for passion, as long term readers of this blog will testify, is not something I associate myself with. Even though REM is my favourite band, or so I like telling people, there are some songs I absolutely hate. How can anyone get through Shiny Happy People, Lotus or Swan Swan is beyond me. On the other hand, I love all songs of Beatles, Rolling Stones, Who or Dire Straits, to name some of the other bands I like. But my favourite band, I hasten to add, is still REM. <br /><br />Perhaps its for reasons more than the music. I do not understand music to be very honest. I listen to music a lot, but I am unable to rate music as good or bad. In other words, I am not really able to appreciate music. I have never been really to appreciate AR Rehman or the music of Dev D for example. The only instrumentals I have ever been able to like are the Fifth Symphony, Jessica and the Doors' Symphony. I also have problem making my Ipod listing, for what I like is a function of external factors, and my mood. <br /><br />But I digress. Had I been able to appreciate music I might have said that Buck is the god of guitar or something. Or that Stipes' vocals are what make him one of the underrated singers of our generation. Or that the reason for REM's success is that the whole is much greater than the sum of four talented - but not genius- musicians from Athens, Georgia. But I can make none of those claims. I can only claim that I love REM, and because music is not the reason I do it for, I can only hypothesize about the why of it. <br /><br />I appreciate REM for the kind of legacy they have made in the industry, being totally independent, and still managing to make it big. I also appreciate their strong anti-right wing views. But those are just add on features - not enough to make them my favourite. <br /><br />I probably like REM because it is a sad band. Just like me. They do a lot of happy songs, but inherently their greatest hits have been songs about losing or trying to find - feelings I can so well connect with, about being lonely in the company of people, about finding and losing love. In short, most of REM songs, I feel, are about me. I am a lot like the protoganist in a lot of REM songs, confused, but trying to find a way. He is not perfect, and there is something he is seeking, and the songs are about the journey. <br /><br />Why is the band not more popular, I hear the skeptics among you say. It is because people do not know much beyond Losing My Religion when it comes to REM. So here is a list, one that you must listen to - a song of my favourite REM songs in no particular order: <br /><br />a) Nightswimming - My first REM song, and one that hooked me instantly. Its a song about longing, probably about going back to one's childhood. About how, after a long hard day, all you ever want is to be a child again, and enjoy nightswimming, like years ago. Its also, at the same time, a song about lost love, and being betrayed. Or atleast that is what I think.<br />b) Ignoreland - A pure vitriol filled, right wing bashing political song. And one, which should become the anthem for anti-right forces come the 2014 elections. The way it starts "These bastards stole power from the victims of the us v. them years" is a precursor to how the right wing might emerge back into power, creating issues that were never there.<br />c) Find the River - These lyrics do not make any sense when you look at it. However, once you start appreciating Stipe's writing genius, you will probably recognize this song to be about starting a search to find the meaning of your life. It is a tough quest, but the protagonist is about to make that journey. <br />d) Everybody Hurts - What more can I say? A song that helped me through the darkest time of my life, and which nursed me back to good things. If there was one song that a man committing suicide should listen to, it is this. <br />e) At my most beautiful - Another example of REM awesomeness. A sweet love song, about how love makes you feel so good about yourself.<br />f) Strange Currencies - A song about unrequited love, and its truly amazing. I have been in the unrequited love stage a few times, and have researched bits about songs, and this is top of the heap, so take my word for it.<br />g) My Crush with Eyeliner - About proposing. About how to get a girl to like you. Sweet.<br />h) I've been High - Sample lyrics: "I've been high, but life, it still washes over me." "All I want, all I really want, is to live my life on a high". Need I say anything more? If you have been high, and disappointed even at that high state, this is the song for you. Legendary.<br />i) Whats the Frequency Kenneth - A middle class refrain to the youth. I can agree, after visiting places like TC, and seeing these 20 year old acting as if they own the world. <br />j) Losing My Religion - The most famous REM song by a distance. A song, again of unrequited love.<br />k) Electrolite - Ever felt like being totally alone and on the top of the world? This song captures that feeling. <br />l) Don't go back to Rockville - Replace Rockville with the required city name, and this song shall become the kind of song you will sing for someone who is leaving you and you run to the airport to ask them to get back. The kind of thing Ross does for Rachel, or the kind of foolish thing I have done. <br />m) Be Mine - A stalker song. But pretty sweet and corny.<br /><br />I could go on and on, but this list should do for now. And when you are done, could you be cool enough to comment on your opinions about the band and the songs you listened to? <br /><br />And yeah, thanks REM. I owe you a big one.zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-36214049735090381002011-10-02T00:50:00.004+05:302011-10-02T20:53:20.729+05:30Open Letter to Mr. Manmohan SinghI am pretty sure that you, being the Prime Minister of India do not read random open letters that people write to you. Instead, I believe that you, sir, heading the government in the largest democracy, are often hard pressed for time. Your job is not an advertisement for work-life balance for sure, and I do not think that you get time to even stumble upon social media.<a href="http://blog.lkadvani.in/"> Unlike the man who could never be the Prime Minister. </a><br /><br />It is pretty well established, then, that you would not be reading this letter. However, writing this helps me vent my frustration out. Moreover, on a slightly more selfish note, writing an open letter to you also gets potential new visitors to this blog. Nothing really succeeds like an idea whose time has come – and the latest idea doing the rounds in social media is about abusing the government and everyone related to the ruling Congress Party. <br /><br />Sir, it is a good thing you are not exactly social media savvy. For if you were, you would not like what you would see. (Hell, even I do not like what I see in my Facebook feeds). You see, my Facebook feed is full of inglorious stories about Congress Party in general, and Mrs. G in particular. A latest story going about in Facebook has even hinted at the possibility of Mrs. G using her body to earn money when she was in England. I assume it is part of a campaign to malign the Gandhi family, but the attempt has definitely become a hit in the social media. And everytime I log into Facebook (which is like, every 10 minutes), the story has been shared by one more friend. Even you are not spared sir, and people insist jokes like “My phone is in Manmohan mode, because I am in a meeting” are more a reflection of truth that humour. <br /><br />Oh, how the mighty have fallen! I still remember the day when you had written a glorious chapter in the 5000 year old history of India on 24th July 1991 in your Budget speech, heralding in an era of globalization and liberalization in the Indian economy. And subconsciously, creating a whole new generation – a generation that till then had grown up on Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayana and which then found solace in Nirvana and Pearl Jam videos on MTV. This was the confused generation, a generation brought up on traditional Indian values, but one which was strongly impacted by the cable TV and other symbols of globalization and liberalisation. While we marvel at the completely Westernized lifestyle the generation below us has adapted itself to, we are also caught up with traditional notions of morality and ethics. And so for all practical purposes, we as a generation are screwed. <br /><br />But today, this generation has suddenly decided to remove the cloaks of confusion that has bound it, and risen almost as one: Against you and your government as it were. At least in social media, where it is easy to protest, and does not cost much. You have suddenly fallen from being the man who heralded the economic revolution in India to a puppet who is dancing to “Master of Puppets” by Mrs. G. The amount of hatred in social media against your government as expressed through the social media was manifested during the Anna Hazare campaign. The slogans that were raised, comparing Cabinet ministers to animals and Mrs. G to mother of a corrupt government, just spoke of the disillusionment of the people with the government. <br /><br />Yes I know only 50000 entered the Ram Lila Grounds, but if the Facebook and twitter movements are anything to go by, it was a mass middle class movement -the same middle class, which saw unprecedented opportunities for growth after your 24th July speech. Along with a confused generation, you had also spawned a Frankenstein - a new middle class, which after years of tolerating the License Raj, now wanted everything at their own terms. When the Congress surprisingly – and let us admit it was surprising even to you – ended up as the single biggest party in 2004 general elections, and you were selected by Mrs. G as the Prime Minister, India saw a new ray of hope. Finally, an honest, clean and secular government was what most people thought. While your first five years did not really set the pulses rising, you blamed everything on the “constraints of coalition politics.” And people believed you, gauged you deserved a second chance and returned the Congress Party with its highest tally since 1991. The decision to return you to power has proved to be about as right as making Senator Palpatine the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic in Star Wars. Or so the social media sites would have one believe. Your government is being portrayed as a collection of evil Jedis, and you as the unwilling Darth Vader. Mrs G, as you might have guessed, is the emperor. <br /><br />Honestly, people are fed up. There have been scams and more scams. It is not the first time that scams have occurred, but with the advent of Facebook and twitter, people who can express their frustrations at the prevalent corruption are doing it. Ironically, it is that generation that you helped create and the middle class whose dreams you fostered, who are at the forefront of the revolution. They want to see India as a superpower – a country with unlimited potential, which however is being brought down by the various corruption activities, of which the government has been unable to absolve itself. Corruption has become a big issue for everyone and will be the single biggest reason of the return to power of BJP. Unless you clean up the house that is, and take full responsibility for the actions of your cabinet colleagues. Become the master of puppets for once. <br /><br />I personally do not care much about corruption, and there are good points to be made in favour of corruption as well. However, I believe that the inability of your government to check corruption is giving rise to a new kind of emotion among people – the portrayal of Narendra Modi as a prime ministerial candidate. The social media is enthused about Narendra Modi’s success in transforming Gujarat. How Gujarat has managed 11% growth, and how the state is virtually corruption free. (Though, from what I hear, there are many places where alcohol is available). And a lot of my facebook friends gush about how good a candidate Narendra Modi would make. In short, Narendra Modi has captured the fantasy of the social network. To use the Star Wars analogy, Narendra Modi is Luke Skywalker – atleast for the social media. <br /><br />The more you remain silent about the whole issues that your government faces, the more Opposition claims that you are a weak PM seem true. And the more Narendra Modi gains credibility. Just like Hitler did back in the early 30s. The difference being that while Hitler’s campaign was aimed at German nationalism and the rallying point was the disarmament of the German army, Modi’s would be corruption plaguing the central government. And unless you set the house in order sir, just like in Germany, a wave will start here in India, which might be difficult to contain. Like Hitler, Modi is a brilliant orator and is able to control the public perception through careful propaganda, but I do not think the similarities end here. All I would like to say, Modi as PM could be the gravest challenge that India has ever in its long history. <br /><br />If that were to happen, Mr. Manmohan Singh, India would never forgive you.zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-30618871510804218282011-09-13T00:30:00.010+05:302011-09-19T10:20:55.568+05:30The Irony of the filter scale theorySo you have met this new girl. She is someone, who on first looks, fulfils your ZSV matrix criteria ("<span style="font-style:italic;">Degi to le loonga</span>", for the <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.com/2008/08/blog-post.html">uninitiated</a>). As you get to know her better, she fulfills most of your <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.com/2010/09/filter-theory-of-relationships.html">other filters </a>too. All in all, she is a 80 on your 100 point filter score. <br /><br />The filter score is a score combination of many filters which you might have for you perfect girl to have. Now,you being a frustrated engineer and later an MBA, the score has very high weights for external attributes. However, filters can also include professional characteristics, geographical attributes, cultural club and social behaviour filters. The girl needs to score highly on all of them to be eligible for future conversations.<br /><br />Now, being an engineer and an MBA who has managed to achieve things pretty easily in life, you also have affinity for being the best. Which is why the girl you want to date also needs to rate pretty high up on your filters. This is why your filter pass marks are very high compared to the Board and graduation/post-graduation course pass marks. A girl needs to score at least a 75 in your filter score for you to actively pursue her. <br /><br />However, this is where the irony creeps in. Being an engineer and a MBA, you also do not have much confidence in yourself, and so believe you do not deserve a 65 or above. The maximum, if things go well, you can do is a 65. This attitude has been brought on by years after years of rejections from girls of all shapes and sizes, and you have absolutely lost your self-confidence, especially when it comes to girls. Now because you think you deserve only a 65, but because you are not willing to fall below 75 when it comes to dating, you are still single. This 10 point gap is something that is insurmountable, and hence, you have accepted being single as a truth of life. <br /><br />Now, what actually happens is, you are not as bad as that. In truth, you might deserve a 85 even, because you are pretty funny, and come to think of it, potentially rich. The theory has yet to be confirmed, but your friends think you can do better than 65, and this 85 theory is as valid as scientific claims made in the Vedas, or the Mathematical claims of Ramanujan - an invalidated truth. <br /><br />Now what happens is that all girls, up until this point, who have managed to pass the filter score have been committed. Or married. Or engaged. (I am sure you get the point). However, this girl, who after you have interacted with her enough, has managed to score a 80, and voila - she is still single. It is a mystery as to why this is so, but you are a firm believer in destiny, and believe it is what was meant to be, and hence this girl is "THE ONE". <br /><br />There is more to this though. Because you think you deserve only a 65 (at best that, mind you), this new girl, who has managed to score a 80 on your filter score, is a bit of anomaly. She has been talking to you regularly, which is kind of odd, and which makes you uncomfortable - you have never been remotely near a 80 before. Which is why, being an engineer and completely lacking all kinds of social skills, you can only mumble while she talks to you, and think about how could you get a 80 just like that. Which is where your entire value system kicks on, and the concept of Karma gets to you, and you think something that you do not deserve is a bad thing altogether. And then you start to find ways to get this 80 girl to lose you. You start acting like a sore loser, and then feel bad about yourself when she shakes you off and starts seeing someone else. <br /><br />Then the entire cycle kicks off again. You lower your standards further, and nowadays your new standard of what you deserve has fallen to 60. What you want, though, has also fallen to 70. The irreversible 10 point gap remains the same, though. <br /><br />Ahh, the story of your life. Probably being single is the truth of life, you say.zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-1494086595132197832011-09-08T02:51:00.002+05:302011-09-08T03:01:19.010+05:30A Ballad of Love. Or some other shit.Kiss me, the Sixpence song, playing in the background;<br />Reminding Kate of the time she had spent with Ronan around;<br />And how she was so happy, life was so good, her Wonder Years;<br />That she still can't understand how did it all end in tears.<br />That was the one true love of her life, the one she held so dear,<br />Its been a long while, but he was the only one who came near.<br />Kate has had boyfriends and lovers and a husband since Ronan left<br />Although none of them has been able to fill her heart's cleft.<br /><br />Kate is a memory forever entrenched in his brain,<br />Ronan sighs as he hears Kate's favourite song playing on the Train;<br />And memories long suppressed, suddenly find a voice,<br />There are no second chances, else Ronan would've made the right choice;<br />The fault was his, of this there is little doubt in his mind,<br />It was a mistake to let Kate go, she was so sweet and so kind;<br />Knight in shining armour was what he wanted to be for Kate,<br />All he could do was be an asshole, and realising it a bit too late;<br /><br />Kate, the first time he saw her, looked so beautiful and simple, <br />Ronan still remembers, the train ride and the noisy German couple;<br />And it was bitching about them that the two of them began to chat,<br />Thats when they discovered their shared passion for tennis, arts and cats;<br />They discussed Politics,love and single parents, and passed away the night;<br />It was like two sides of a coin, it was love at first sight.<br />Knowing they had found their soulmates, they decided to see each other;<br />And soon they were living together, having informed her father and his mother.<br /><br />Kismet, though, had other things in store for them, made them cry,<br />Right after six months or so, the passion had run dry;<br />And Ronan had decided he was being constrained, and needed a way out,<br />That led to increased arguments with Kate, who had her own doubts;<br />The thing was not going to work, that much was clear to all,<br />It was always a building that was going to fall.<br />Kate shifted out, and started seeing other guys, soon marrying,<br />And Ronan restarted his bachelor lifestyle, partying hard and travelling.<br /><br />Kate, for all her lovers, never could find anyone to confide with,<br />Ronan, on the other hand, never found anyone else to spend his life with<br />And today, the day they first met is ten years in history<br />That train ride though is still a vivid memory.<br />There are probably many like the two mentioned here,<br />It was meant to be true love, but could never quite reach there,<br />Kate and Ronan is not an isolated case, they were made for each other,<br />And maybe the made for each other concept is as faulty as any other.zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-27514256113453359202011-08-24T04:04:00.007+05:302011-09-07T22:51:26.131+05:30Anna and the King(Disclaimer: The article involves a lot of stereotyping. For someone marking me out as a Congress puppy, here is a small background.I have never been a huge fan of democracy, and I spent my early childhood dreaming of the day when I will become dictator of the country and set this country alright. As a young boy, I was convinced that democracy is a failed notion, and the sad state of the country can be attributed by a great deal to the electoral pleasing politics played by leaders. I was probably agitated by the Rajiv Goswami incident, despite being only seven years old, and seeing pictures of protests all over the country over the Mandal recommendations. My fertile imaginative mind worked in full swing back then - I wanted to take seize power from the useless leaders, who had sent the country to dogs, and create a new India, which would be corrupt-free and meritorious. There would be no place for reservations or minority appeasment. I would rule the country with an iron-hand, giving full chance to the deserving and rooting out the non-meritorious. Anyone disputing my calls would be severely punished. In short, I would wield absolute power, and use that power to make India what it historically was - the bird of Gold (<span style="font-style:italic;">sone ki chidiya</span>). To put it otherwise, I was a right winger. However then I grew up and was able to argue things on my own, and come to the conclusion that democracy, while being the far-from-perfect model, is probably the best one given India’s position as a socially, culturally and religiously diversified society.)<br /><br />The movie was fabulous. Or I have heard it was. The spoof, being currently played out in the aptly named Ramlila Grounds, is anything but. A 74 year old apparently senile man who plays the major part in the new spoof, playing both the title parts. On the one hand, he is a tender voice against the corruption and the evil government (Anna), and on the other, he is the king who is holding the government, and the people of India to ransom through what can at the very modest, be termed blackmail.<br /><br />A lot of people not supporting Anna Hazare's movement have been doing so because they take exceptions to the method that he is taking. A lot has been written about it, and I will therefore bypass that point and discuss something else, which is probably much more far reaching with effect to India as a country and a heterogeneous society. <br /><br />I have basically two objections to the Anna Hazare demand for corruption - other than the one about the method. Both of them are fairly controversial and I am ready for a debate on both: One has to do with the need for corruption, and how people are being entirely hypocritical while ganging up with Anna, while the second objection, which I am going to discuss first, is the impact of the agitation.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"> Issue 1 : Context:</span> India is a truly remarkable country. Growing up,our books described India as "unity among diversity." I was not very sure about what the expression meant, and while the unity part might still be up for discussion, there is no doubting the diversity of the country. It is perhaps amazing that India is one country. There is no other country with the kind of diversity that India has, and at such different levels. Most of the states are separated on linguistic lines, and often have their own culture. No other country has the kind of linguistic and cultural diversity that India has. Spain is the only other country that comes to mind, but it has had its history of civil wars, and the peace existing in the country is very fragile, as the occasional brawls between Barcelona and Real Madrid in football often proves. The Catalans hate Madridistas, and the less said about the autonomous Basque county, the better. And in Spain, there is no divide across religious and racial lines, unlike in India. Belgium is on the verge of breaking up only because of the linguistic issue. India, moreover, also has a number of significant minority religions in different states, and within Hinduism, there is further subdivision across castes and sub-castes. All in all, the heterogeneous structure of India is a very thin fabric, and the fact that the fabric is holding up fine so far is a testimony to the strength of the country. <br /><br />In every political system, there are two extremes across the political spectrum : the far right and the far left. The right wing is generally more conservative, more business-friendly, less individual freedom and more nationalistic, while the left wing is more radical, more socialist, and more individual freedom. The right wing is also more polar, and tends to create economic and social classes, while the left wing seeks to abolish them. While there are many differentiating factors that separate the two extreme positions, they can be summed up thus: The far right believe only what they do is right, while the far left is of the view that what everyone else does is wrong. Arundhiti Roy and her paranoia about everything is an example of far-left activism, while those of the temple and cocksureness about the location of the Ram Mandir is far-right. As a consequence, an extreme right government will probably do or seek to do a lot of work in its own way, but at the cost of freedom and probably subversion of certain elements, while a far left government will probably regress, unless the far left itself takes the far right position, for the two positions are not as different as they seem. Animal Farm or the USSR government would probably be good examples. <br /><br />In the Indian context, far right would probably mean pushing reforms and promoting Indian nationalism and Hinduism, probably at the cost of the minority religions and/or the "lower" castes. The Gujarat government, which has ensured a Vibrant Gujarat, but is also charged with abetting the Gujarat riots and failing to ensure inclusive growth, is an example of far-right, while the erstwhile West Bengal government, which changed the face of Kolkata from that of Hema Malini to that of Jyoti Basu, is an example of far-left. The West Bengal growth, or the stagnation, has been pretty much inclusive. Everyone has come to the same level of poverty. In between, you have the different left-of-centre to right-of-centre combinations and different governments in India can possibly be mapped on the axis. In the Indian context, BJP is the right wing party, Congress is the centre party, while the Left Parties are well, left parties.<br /><br />Similarly, most voters fall on either side of the centre: the far-right to far-left depending on your political ideals, and your moral and religious values. The right winged voters, who had been identifying themselves with the BJP for so long, are suddenly lost, for the BJP has regressed remarkably as a party since its 2004 loss. The loss was totally unexpected, but even its most adherent critics would not have predicted the rudderless ship it now resembles. The name of the party has been planned to be officially changed to Bhartiya Joker Party, if reports are to be believed. But I digress.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"> Issue 1: Impact:</span> The failure of BJP as a party, has alienated the right wing electorate of the country. The right wing electorate generally belong to the Hindu, upper and middle classes and the non-Schedule Castes. They are generally well educated, and are active on social media. They are generally against reservations and pro-meritocracy. A large number of these right wing electorate who feel let down by the BJP do not really care about the temple, but about ensuring a transparent society, where everything works well. Most of them also support Narendra Modi, despite him being implicated in the riots, for the reason that their only concern is development, and they feel that no price is enough to achieve it. They are pro-reforms, and believe that corruption is the biggest threat to India. They do not want to understand the viewpoint of the other side, and are adamant that their demands, and wants are entirely justified. However, despite being sizable in number, the right wing voters are particularly known to skip election day as the size and heat of May sun gets to them, which probably explains why BJP lost the two elections in May. <br /><br />On the other hand, the Congress government at the centre has made no overtures to them. In fact, the government has taken a decisive left-turn, and Congress has changed from a centralist party to a left-of-centre party. The Congress public motto of inclusive growth does not hold much weight with the right wing voters. Moreover, the reservation issue is another key thorn. This, and other policies of the government, has led this electorate to believe that Congress is not for them, which is probably true. <br /><br />And so we come to the issue of corruption. The right wing needs an outlet to the rage at the inability of BJP to launch a proper attack on the Congress. Baba Ramdev tried to capture that space, but his pro-religious antics were never going to cut much meat with the mainly secular right wing, middle class electorate. Enter Anna Hazare, and the right wing electorate has finally found a messiah to deliver them from evil. They finally feel they have an option to partake in the decision making process, which had been taken away from them by the left and centralist leaning Congress governments. And the issue of corruption has managed to unite every right-wing voter into one under Anna Hazare, and makes them feel empowered. So this right wing electorate, in true right wing style, has made a draft believing only they can do a great job of it, and are trying to impose it on the government. Why is their version better than the government? Who says seven years imprisonment is not enough punishment? Why should ministers suffer more punishment as compared to the common man? Why shouldnot bribing be made legal? There can be many questions that can be asked from them. However, being the burning issue of corruption, which most people believe to be an illness, the movement has also found support with some of the traditional central and left-wing supporters. That it is basically a right wing movement can be made out by the fact that masses of Scheduled Castes, Muslims and many other societies have stayed away, fearing backlash.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Issue 1: Why is it bad?</span>: Historically, whenever the right wing has emerged enmasse, it has often resulted in historical tragedies. The frenzy that is generated by such movements often prevail everything else, and creates absolute power. Moreover, right wing also means giving more power to the majority, and hence can totally alienate minority. A left wing uprising, while theoretically equally potentially damaging, has atleast equality as its basic tenet. A right wing uprising on the other hand, increases the diversity.In a country like India, this can lead to dangerous consequences. The Gujarat riots united the Hindus to vote for Modi, just like German nationalism united Germans under Hitler, and we all know how that went. I am not saying that Hazare is comparable to either of the two, but going forward, if the present movement is a success, the rejuvenated right wing can plan further uprisings, to impose their will on the government - through democratic or undemocratic means - and we never know how that will impact India. Why should a few people who are up there, and have conjured up a draft of the bill, be allowed to hold the government hostage? Who gives them the right? It is not a matter of them thinking what they are thinking is right, it has to come from the people. And the people choose the Parliament. If people like Anna Hazare and Arvind Kejriwal really want to do anything, they should take the right path and fight elections. However, they know they will lose if they stand in elections, and hence have taken unconstitutional ways to hijack the government into accepting their demands. It does not matter if their demands are right or wrong? The thing is, who are they to decide that their demands are right? This right wing tendency of always being right needs to be stopped as soon as possible, else it can have grave consequences. As mentioned earlier, India is a great country because the social fabric is holding up. With a rejuvenated right wing, if the revolution now starts, I see the fabric stopping. Hence the revolution must fail. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Issue 2:</span> I am not against corruption. I get my Gas connection illegally, I used to drive a car when I did not have a driving licence and I drove when drunk. I save as much tax as I can, some of it unethically. I give bribe to the ticket checker when travelling on a WL ticket in train so that I can reach home earlier. I dont like standing in lines for filling up government forms and hence bribe the government official to allow me my permits. I love corruption as it makes my life easier. I am not sure we Indians are ready for a honest government as this will mean making ourselves honest. So Mr. Hazare enjoy the limelight while people forget about lying on their CVs and putting kids through schools via bribes. In short, the Indian right winger is a hypocrite, who is always ready to blame the system for his vows. And it is exactly these people who should not be at the forefront, for it will make India another Animal Farm. Hence the revolution must fail.<br /><br />Long live the revolution!zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-7094912103430853382011-06-06T21:57:00.009+05:302011-08-03T00:28:34.756+05:30Head-versus-heartYou feel caught between Scylla and Charybdis, <br />deciding your next course of action.<br />It is the usual matter of head-versus-heart,<br />should you follow the money or your passion?<br /><br />Do you want to go back into the corporate world, your heart asks you,<br />and the answer to the question is no, you still remember the pain. <br />But your book's also not going anywhere, your head reminds you,<br />and your financial solvency is fast approaching that of Spain.<br /><br />Your head says: to be honest, you havent done much the past 13 months,<br />except eat, drink and enjoy life to the brink.<br />But it does feel so right, and you are so happy, your heart responds<br />There is nothing better than having free time, and a couple of drinks.<br /><br />People always argue that you are whiling your time away, <br />that passion is overrated, and they are right. <br />Moreover, the couple of drinks and other good things cost money, your head says,<br />so this offer might seem godsend in hindsight.<br /><br />But if passion does not count, what does, your heart tells you,<br />and you have already written some 30000 words of some crap;<br />You believe that you have a bestseller in the making,<br />and hence this offer is just a Corporate World trap.<br /><br />Think about your parents, the head reminds you,<br />and how bad they feel about you being jobless. <br />You owe them a lot for the support they have given you,<br />Passing this offer would be a decision most useless.<br /><br />But then your heart responds, <br />its your happiness that matters to them, as they always say.<br />So make your decision based on what you want to do,<br />and act like you want to and throw this offer away.<br /><br />The head and the heart argue all night,<br />and still no compromise can be reached.<br />Do you take the offer, or tear it?<br />be a hypocrite, or practice as you preach?zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13211859.post-90075442310968204472011-05-22T18:26:00.012+05:302011-05-26T17:31:42.126+05:30The Plateau of LifeAt which point do we stop growing up? And which point do we start aging? Which point in our life are we the most alive? Is life linear, or does it follow a "life" cycle? Is there an inflection point in life? Is there an uphill point of life at which we can say, "Its all downhill from here"?<br /><br />Of course, to answer these questions, we will have to answer a much more basic question and unravel one of the greatest mysteries, namely "what is life?" If we have an answer to this question, and more importantly, if we can quantify this thing called life in some way, then the problem becomes a simple mathematical problem of plotting this quantitative value of life versus time, and try and see where the graph leads us. <br /><br />But how exactly do we quantify life? For that, it will be important to consider the various facets of life: namely health, wealth, personal life, social life and level of achievement - in no particular order. (Some research on this topic has been done <a href="http://anakinturnsevil.blogspot.com/2010/04/sz-matrix-of-life.html">here</a>. However, this time we will make it much simpler, and try solving the problem qualitatively - and also add two new parameters in order to make it more comprehensive.) To make our life simple, we will just add the combined effect of these five factors and come up with a final "value" for life - In Utopian settings, the addition will be through weighted factors, but we are building a base model here.<br /><br />Lets imagine a "life" versus time 2-D space. We are looking at time at different major instances in your life - and not looking at daily variations. So while a minor bad day will actually lessen your sense of achievement momentarily, or make you wonder about life in general, we are talking about extended periods of time. The time t=0 indicates the time when you are born, and it is safe to assume that at that point of time you are at the origin of the graph. As you grow up, your health and personal life parameters are the first ones to show an immediate increase. As you starts going to school, the other attributes, such as social parameters and levels of achievement (the school debate, making it into the school team) increase as well. So far, so good. Going through college, on a normal day, the social interaction, health and levels of achievement more or less keep on increasing, while there is a substantial hike in personal life if you manage to find love. Otherwise, there is a slight drop, as invariably your relations with your parents starts floundering, as you become the angry rebel, and try to make it up through an even more enhanced social life - and generally a heightened sense of achievement. After college, going for a job, you add a new attribute - wealth and it starts increasing. During the initial honeymoon period, you have a great sense of achievement - actually believing you are making a difference. The table 1 shows these effects in detail (The values given are arbitary - and are just there for understanding of the theoretical aspect).. So far, life is an increasing function with time, and hence all is well.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs3c93-ITBlf8snKZ81ZEGbKHK2B54tICZfSH9lRhxI-YSxB2M6rkuMXLJuMgSkJqwLInWHhTDsGW14CroH5a0OgtuNgP5a-qZwfek94Da6ZCrR3Q3aVP9wmSEdbaUL0CN4XJH/s1600/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+INITIAL.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs3c93-ITBlf8snKZ81ZEGbKHK2B54tICZfSH9lRhxI-YSxB2M6rkuMXLJuMgSkJqwLInWHhTDsGW14CroH5a0OgtuNgP5a-qZwfek94Da6ZCrR3Q3aVP9wmSEdbaUL0CN4XJH/s320/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+INITIAL.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610991934318908978" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">The Quarter-Life crisis:</span> Now, the quarter-life crisis is such a point in the curve, where life for a small point becomes a decreasing function. After the honeymoon period in your new job is over, you need something more to have a strong sense of achievement. The small increase in wealth is often unable to compensate for the lack of sense of achievement - while there are not much changes in your personal and social life. Hence, the quarter life crisis is the first time in your life that you start questioning, "Where am I headed?" <br /><br />The Way Out: Marriage or MBA. The former raises the personal life coefficient, while the latter ensures an increase in sense of achievement, and also social life coefficients. Both these factors increase your "life" value and life goes on well - you come out of the crisis. Table 2 illustrates this. Both of these solutions, however, are actually two-edged swords, as a bad marriage can totally ruin your personal life, while a bad MBA can actually remove whatever sense of achievement in life you feel. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJsd4Ev4hnstAJfpRpxGh32RZvoNNXze4aEspQcFij83ZuDVUQXvHdL6DuoA4PNgpRzK1wWFE7EM2AqA1C-lM8QLNKTDmUnFmlOQg3J2e0fugWD5FdFdLXGfbTtTFwhtxDW-p_/s1600/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+QUARTER+LIFE+CRISIS.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJsd4Ev4hnstAJfpRpxGh32RZvoNNXze4aEspQcFij83ZuDVUQXvHdL6DuoA4PNgpRzK1wWFE7EM2AqA1C-lM8QLNKTDmUnFmlOQg3J2e0fugWD5FdFdLXGfbTtTFwhtxDW-p_/s320/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+QUARTER+LIFE+CRISIS.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610992203306797826" /></a><br /><br />Prime of your life: So then, everything starts moving smoothly again. You have children, your personal life is great, you earn good money, and you rediscover a sense of achievement. Your health nowhere close to what it was when you were 30, but you have the gym, and you try hard to rediscover your health. Your social life is going great as well, as you love being the centre of attraction at the various house parties that you now attend, with friends really loving your jokes. Life couldn't be better, and that is exactly when the midlife crisis hits you. <br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Midlife Crisis: </span> It is not exactly a "mid"life crisis, as you are almost 40 by the time you hit this road, but it is probably the admission that the best part of your life is behind you. The midlife crisis probably starts off by a bad review at work, which makes you question your sense of achievement. Over time, as you start reviewing your life, your personal life also doesnt seem to be too good - the last time you had sex was two years ago. Your social life is also in tatters as you are too busy with your kids to think about your friends. The health is deteriorating fast, and as you pant after doing only 2 kilometers of your daily walks around your apartments, you suddenly realize you are not a teenager anymore. Your graph suddenly takes a sharp dive. <br /><br />The Way Forward: Is there a way forward? Not really. Yes you are going to make more money over time, but your sense of achievement is most likely going to tumble, and your health is surely going to take you down. Your personal life will depend on your children, who will become the only source of your happiness going forward, and your social life will also decrease over a period of time, as religion starts taking over. You are basically reaching a plateau of life, and life for you has become backward looking rather than forward looking. Your dreams have been replaced by your stories. In other words, you have already lived. And are just waiting for death now. Table 3 illustrates. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsj8dWELlo-0qqTELgsxOjWtCDshoYe1bqmXU-uXraVt1L8hz7EJObrguJZvXduydaRYBGiOJjOIOXzzXco8bfczqTwTei6qB6XdRWFEyAZng4L4bWFNSe4MJYKRmCX4Z7_NAi/s1600/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+MID+LIFE.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsj8dWELlo-0qqTELgsxOjWtCDshoYe1bqmXU-uXraVt1L8hz7EJObrguJZvXduydaRYBGiOJjOIOXzzXco8bfczqTwTei6qB6XdRWFEyAZng4L4bWFNSe4MJYKRmCX4Z7_NAi/s320/THE+LIFE-TIME+CURVE+-+MID+LIFE.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5610993433218106274" /></a><br /><br />The aim of life then, is to postpone the plateau of life and the mid life crisis to as late as possible - and live your life to the fullest. Which path you take to achieve this - however, is upto you. You can be a tennis player, maximising wealth and sense of achievement earlier, and then paying attention to the social and personal life attributes. In other words, live the maximum you can. <br /><br />(As always, suggestions are always welcome about how to decode life.)zubinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03620005936352211418noreply@blogger.com18