Tuesday, April 04, 2006

The Best Of times, the worst of times

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times " wrote Charles Dickens in his The Tale of Two Cities, referring to the French Revolution. It could also refer to the past week and a half, where I have moved from highs to lows pretty alarmingly. It has been pretty hectic, at times funny, and at others, frustrating.
Last weekend saw a friend dropping by from Bangalore, and it was great to have the original "losers" back doing what they did best: Nightouting at Nescafe. It was fun-filled, and all the gaps caused by the separation after passing out from IITD, seemed to have been filled, albeit temporarily. For those particular eight hours, though, nothing else seemed to matter, except for the fact that the six of us were together after a long long time, and probably for the last time as well. So it is perhaps fitting that the last memory remains such a happy one.
Sunday I saw "Being Cyrus", which has to be one of the darkest movies in Bollywood in recent times. The direction is brilliant, and while the movie is fast, it also manages to raise certain questions about existentialism. What is good and what is bad? Is the guy narrating the story necessarily the "good" guy? The movie is not an attempt at widespread cinema, despite an impressive starcast, but it would have been great to have Naseeruddin Shah, who is, arguably, the finest "actor" in India today, take more screen space. The hiterhto unheralded Manoj Pahwa, who plays the patriach of the Parsi family, has come up with a great performance, as has the talented Boman Irani. Its great to see Saif Ali Khan groom as an actor. The leading ladies, Dimple Kapadia and Simone Singh, have also played their part pretty well. A must watch, if you dont mind thinking while watching a movie.
The following week at office was probably the worst time at work in my ten months. This was the week before 31st March, which meant I had to submit loads of bills to save chunks of tax. And then there were different projects, one of which even made me spend One Night at a Call Centre. Well, not exactly one night, but six hours, and it was an unforgettable experience. And no, I dont mean that in a positive sense. It was cramping, and pretty bad. This, coupled with my desire to stop working (and start writing full time) built in plenty of frustration, which heightened on Friday Night. I felt friendless. I wanted to run away, to break free from the world. I felt like disappearing, closing my Orkut and Yahoo accounts and deleting this blog. Somehow, I hung on, and I am glad I did.
The next day was April Fools Day, and while there was noone to play tricks on, I invented small tricks people could play. "How about telling a girl you love her on that day?" was a question I asked almost everyone I met. It was foolish, but when sometimes you feel so terribly alone, its all you can think of. Like they say, an empty mind is the home of the devil. The day felt so bad. Then came the night, and then there was light.
An impromptu plan of going to Rishikesh and rafting was made. There were six of us, and we hired a cab, and were out on the road at 1230 a.m. Sunday morning. We reached Rishikesh by 7, and after freshning up at a hotel and a quick breakfast, were out on the raft by 10 in the morning. It was great rafting down the Ganga, through rapids named Three Blind Mice and Golf Course. Seemed like a scene from movies. It was thrilling, and adventurous. I almost sometimes missed paddling while in the rapids because of the strong current, but the others, and the coach, more than made up for me. It was awesome, and adventurous. And tiring. We covered the entire journey from Delhi to Delhi in little under 22 hours. It was an altogether new experience, and it came at just about the right time.
Just when I was again planning to give up on life, had life thrown me a lifeline. Yet again. And this time I plan to use it to the fullest. I am going to try extra hard to remain happy, for whatever reason. I just realised I have more than enough reasons to be happy, and my friends and family is not the least among them.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The trick of living life remains in prolonging the best and shortening the worst. That is the only way to live. It is all in the mind. You will be happy if you want to remain happy. There is just one key to feel happy. Let me say, when I am feeling low, just say "Let there be light." And then, let there be light.


behindcloseddoors said...

wow! great post(not the events ;) )but the quality of post, you are improving by leaps and bounds.

Rahul said...

"Prolonging the best and shortening the worst" .... "its all in the mind" .. u wrote my thoughts friend.. !! Great.. !!

pseudonym said...

love the last bit... "let there be light" .... :)

willing yourself to be happy works sometimes when nothing else will :)

if you look hard enough (ok i know you really have to go at it with a halogen lamp sometimes)you can find it in the most surprising of places, dont you agree?

Ankur Shanker said...

well m glad that u did go to rishikesh and had a great time.. and for the worst and the best times, its better that by choosing to remain happy, you make them run around you rather than they making you run around them!!

zubin said...

[Sammy] Thanks, but I guess the post looks better, because you were a part of all those events mentioned above. Especially the good ones. Personally, I dont think too highly about this particular post, matter wise.
[Rahul] Doesnt everyone have the same thoughts, once in a while?
[Pseudonym] If you try hard enough, yes. But then again, sometimes it does come to you. And I guess I am pure lucky.
[Ankur Shanker] True.

Phoenix said...

there will be light, as soon as u put on the switch:)

Ashwani said...

Fuckin good. Keep the good stuff rolling.

zubin said...

[Phoenix] And what if there is no electricity connection..And no inverter/generator?
[Ashwani] Thanks.