Welcome 2006. Goodbye 2005. It has been a year that has been, to take a hint from Clint Eastwood, "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly." It has been a year of tremendous lows, but at the end of the day; the best thing about the past year was that it taught me a lot, about life, the Universe and Everything.
I have a few resolutions for the New Year: This is the first time I am making resolutions, because this is the first time I feel disciplined enough to try to keep them. One is to achieve something worthwhile by the end of this year. In professional terms. In other words, achieve some "success", in the way the society defines it, because it will make people close to me happy. Second is to improve my health, and become ummm...less fatter. Third is to drink less. Well last year saw me at my worst, but this time I am planning to cut down my alcoholic consumption. Finally, I am also planning to stop judging people, because I have discovered that Buddha was probably wrong, the cause of all sorrows is not desires, it is this desire to judge and keeping expectations from people that causes all troubles and sorrows in this world. [More about this later, I am hoping to open a new school of philosophy based on this one noble truth.]
And 2006 could not have started on a brighter note. I have had two good things happening for me professionally: I have got a US visa (I am still to get back the passport though), and on the cards is a two month trip to Chicago (The Windy City), USA; as one of my company's representative to Kraft Foods. Kraft foods, incidentally, happens to be the second largest food and beverage company in the world, so it can help my resume a lot. (I now have suddenly discovered that resume is an important factor towards success, and success does matter, even if not to you, but to those around you. And this strengthens my resolve to become an achiever.) The second good thing to happen is that I have got a Black Eye. No..nobody hit me or anything, but I have just recieved the calls for all six IIMs. Now the six IIMs are located at Bangalore (B), Lucknow (L) Ahmedabad (A) Calcutta (C) Kozikode (K) and Indore (I), which makes BLACKI, but because it sounds so much like a dog's name, its better to call it a black eye. It is a feat I did achieve the last time as well, and so is nothing particularly special, but I feel much more confident and disciplined now to be able to convert them, particularly the big ones, A, B and C.
However, the new year has also brought along with it hard choices for me to take : What if I can choose only one of the two? It is going to be a very hard choice to make: especially since my parents favour me taking the GD/PI, while I am more attracted about visiting Chicago, even though its winter and its freezing cold at -30 degree centigrade. I will just like to go out and explore the world on my own, and I believe this is the right age to do it.
A word of caution: my mind seems to speak, dont count your chicken before they hatch. Remember, 2005 started almost similiarly. And then the bubble burst, worse than the Harshad Mehta induced fall in BSE in 1993 (Or was it 1992, I am never sure of numbers). My degree got extended, and I was on the brink of suicide, not once, but twice. But life now seems so much nicer. Just a testimony to what someone once told me: "Everything happens for the best. " I never believed it then, but today, with everything going my way, I will vouch for it as well.
I never dedicate my blog to anybody, but this time I will dedicate it to one of my very good friends (I have a lot of very good friends, no best friend, which is good, in a way), who, but for some professors who thought that IIM will do well without people with good speed, and opted for accuracy instead, would definately have made it into every IIM. Here is to you, my dear friend, to remind you, that even though when everything seems to be lost, there is always some hope to be found in this world. When you have reached rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. I have been there quite a few times, and today is the highest I have ever been, since I marched into IITD with a AIR of 228. And that seems centuries ago. I might have been talking about the tunnel so far, but now that I see light, there is so much more satisfaction. I have just ended the worst year of my life, with hope and promise.
So, dear friend, please dont give up. There is much more to life than CAT, and unlike it seems, God does exist. He even sees the truth, but waits. And the longer he waits, the better is his reward. And if you are still feeling low, just read this, my manna in the days when I felt like ending this "useless" life, and better still, try singing this along (REM are my favourite composers) :
When the day is long and the night,
the night is yours alone,
When you're sure you've had enough of this life,
well hang onDon't let yourself go,
'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes
Sometimes everything is wrong.
Now it's time to sing along
When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)
If you feel like letting go, (hold on)
When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on
'Cause everybody hurts.
Take comfort in your friends
Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand.
Oh, no. Don't throw your hand
If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone
If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,
When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on
Well, everybody hurts sometimes,Everybody cries.
And everybody hurts sometimesAnd everybody hurts sometimes.
So, hold on, hold onHold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on
Everybody hurts. You are not alone