Saturday, March 24, 2007

Of Meaning and Happiness

"You can either choose a life of happiness or a life of meaning. You cannot have both.Life of happiness means enjoying the present, without worrying about the future, or caring about the past. Life of meaning, on the other hand is about thinking about the past, and sacrificing the present to make the future more meaningful." This truth became evident to me only after watching the latest episode of Heroes. And it made instant sense, because chasing a life of meaning for the past 24 years, I had become a stranger to happiness.
Most people make similar mistakes in life, trying to find a meaning to life, in the way forgettng happiness and what it means. I was looking for things to do to make life more meaningful, but it all ended up in frustration as later I realised that the "meaningful" things I was running after, didnt really matter at all.
I thought I was sacrificing my happiness for a greater cause. However, there is no greater cause. Happiness is the only reason to live in this world.
I am full of hatred. Hatred for everyone I have ever known, for using me. for giving me pain.
I am full of love. For drugs and alcohol. For being there whenever I needed to feel good and happy.
And I am happy. Nothing else can describe this feeling that I have inside me, I feel free of all desires. I am becoming a real Buddhist.
Or maybe, I am just dumb.

9 comments:

Phoenix said...

how i wish u were totally dumb!

BehindKlosedDoors said...

i think you are becoming a real buddhist!

cathatfished said...

i think life cant be happy unless there is some meaning to it - whatever meaning u ascribe to it... if your definition/desire of what the 'meaning' should be changes, that doesnt imply that life can be without meaning!! i think u cant be sane if u imagine that life is pointless, meaningless :D and you cant find long term happiness unless u think that your life has some sort of meaning... you can find exhilaration by living in the present, but not Happiness ... anything can give your life meaning - your family, your career.. eventually u just have to find that one thing that lends your life definition. and that changes! and its ok.. there will be something else that will give u a purpose.. just focus on finding it :)

Harshpreet Singh Sherry said...

could be the best thought so far by you (of the ones penned down by you)

Rather than a Buddhist you might be becoming a great thinker !!

cyberenigma said...

you really think so zub? on the next morning as well? there is no running away... i guess... there is no happiness too... if u say drugs and alcohol.... wat is ultimately left is SILENCE... da same dead heavy weight on your shoulders which says.. time is passing by.... and it will... u say happiness? i say solitude...

Anurakt

Balaji Pasupathy said...

For some people ... Happiness comes by finding a meaning in life ... :)

Anonymous said...

Empty mind is devil's workshop.

Find something that can keep you busy.

I just started reading your blog, haven't really met you, but I think you are so much like me.. well probably you have more grey cells (that are going waste!!).

I get into similar thought process on weekends - guess what - I don't work on weekends. But I have identified this pattern and I just try to do something that I enjoy if I start feeling frustrated.

I feel you have gone deep into negativity to really understand what I just said but I think if it made even a tiniest bit of difference. I'll continue posting comments.

A far as being true Budhist is concerned , believe me you are no where near it. You are still materialistic, I think that's positive.

Siyaah said...

stumbled upon ur writings thru other blogs.

u say elsewhere that u'd like to be a writer - i read thru a lot of ur posts and liked much- u have something to say, and those who do, often end up saying it (regardless of any doubts u or anyone else might have about current writing ability). keep writing.


for this particular post, a line i heard long ago came to mind: some are so clever they are dumb, and some are so dumb they are clever.

again, do keep writing.

ROGER BASTIEN said...

Oliver Wendell Holmes:

The world has to learn that the actual pleasure derived from material things is of rather low quality on the whole and less even in quantity than it looks to those who have not tried it.Nice Comment!