If....

If you dont know what are you looking forward to
and everyday leaves you feeling hopeless and sad;
If you have nothing better to do,
than to pretend you are slowly turning mad.

If you are sure you have lost the will
to live in this world of blinding lights;
If each day seems like a big burden,
and alone is spent every single night.

If there are demons going through your mind,
which make you frown all the time;
If you somehow feel guilty deep inside,
of committing many heinous crimes.

If you have lost all emotions
of happiness, laughter and delight;
If it seems you are a picture of tragedy,
and nothing seems to be going right.

If love had found you,
and you have lost it now;
If all you can do is to wonder,
what, where, when and how?

If you just cant put a finger
on where did it all go wrong;
If the only thing you are sure of,
is that life has been far too long.

If you are afraid to tell
anyone about your sorry state;
If it seems noone understands you,
and all you have is your heart is unexplainable hate.

If you want to hurt this world badly
just like it has always hurt you;
If you know you are sick,
but even the best doctors cant cure you.

What do you tell yourself then,
as to why should you live on?
Arent you as good as dead,
because your life is already gone?

A not so anonymous letter

My first post from the "hallowed" portals of IIMC.

Reproducing here, a "funny" psychotic letter, I recieved from someone. Read on to find out more.
The envelope said, "Zubin Saini (MBA), Indian Institute of Management Calcutta, Joka, Kolkata (West Bengal) - 700104."

"Nothing is impossible in this world."

"My dear brother,
Hello brother, how do you do? I am fine here. How are father, mother and all. I want to know your health and family members health also.
Hello, my dear brother, how is your study going? My study is going well. Now, I have come to West Bengal. I want to meet you. I am eagerly waiting for my dear brother you. Now, I am very happy because I am speaking with my dear brother. Everyday I am praying for your studies and your health and family members health also. Surely, God will give you his wisdom and knowledge.
Everyday I am thinking for you. I dont expect from you anything. I want to see you. This only I want from you. If you are well, I am also well. If you are not well, I am also not well. This is true because my mind is always with you.
(Next, there is a paragraph in Tamil, which I cant read.)
Really, I dont have brother. But I am very happy because I have one elder brother. Everyday I am thinking for you. So, I can write this much.
I want to see you coming from Tamil Nadu. But unfortunately I didnt see you. Now, I have stayed in West Bengal. If you are very busy, you write me one letter. You write your address, phone number and cell number also. I do not want to disturb you. In case you did not write me one letter, I will worry anytime. Please brother, dont forget me. Immediately, write me one letter now. Then, when you are free at the time you come and see me. I pray for your all intentions to be successful. I am eagerly waiting for you.
Yours lovingly,
Signed incomprehensible.

My Address is :
J. John
(and some address of some village in some West Bengal district.)

(Please, immediately write me one letter, I am eagerly waiting for your letter.)
(Anybody if you get this letter, please you give my dear brother. Thanks for you.)"

WTF is this letter supposed to mean? Is it someone's idea of a prank? Or is it something more psychotic. I am scared. I havent ever been to Tamil Nadu, and I have no idea about West Bengal. And I have googled, I am the only Zubin Saini in this planet. How and why this letter then? What does God want me to do?Fuck God, and fuck this person. I am not doing anything. He can worry, even die, and I dont care.

On other thought, everything hurts.