Monday, November 02, 2009

The Groucho Marx effect

And I suddenly realised today, that most of my unhappiness stems from the Groucho Marx effect - the quote about "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members".
This simple maxim has defined my life and made me unhappy. While I consider myself worthy of potentially a lot of things, what I get easily is never going to be good enough. And this defines me as a person - always wanting more, and always unhappy with what I have.
This stems largely from a dual degree of self-perception I believe. There is a part of me which knows I am a useless, worthless person and another part that believes that I am among the most intelligent people around. And this is what causes this dilemma.
So well, it has started affecting me a lot more as I have grown older. No job is good enough, and now I am actually questioning my friendships with people. Why are people my friends even though I am sick in the way I am? It might be because they are not good enough to find better friends, and hence, they are not good enough for me. And that is exactly the reason I think I can never really fall in two-sided love - because if I get the one I love, she will not be good enough anymore.
I hate myself somehow.

7 comments:

amrit said...

This applies for everyone Zubin. Except that most of us are always aware of this fact and therefore it doesn't annoy as much as it actually should. Awareness is the key here.

Wanderer said...

ignore, suspend disbelief, turn a blind eye and other metaphors

Instinctivecuriosity said...

Although I dont like what you've written (on the grounds of 'I won't take that'), but still I'm quite caught up with the line quoted.

zubin said...

@Amrit: So whats the solution? Its a compromise, isnt it? :D
@Gattani: Maybe, if it was that simple.:P
@Nainy:Its a brilliant line. And do like it.

Oliviagruber said...

I stumbled upon this Blog while looking up the Groucho effect that I had heard about in some movie. And, I must say that I was further pressed to read on. Your XYZ and Filter theories are both entertaining and merit-able. Though, clearly you are a mathematician, you certainly know how to write--and what to write about. I can sense the agony in your words--a true writer's soul. Great work, keep writing.

zubin said...

@Olivia: Thanks a lot for your kind words :).

TcRebel32 said...

@Olivia: i know what movie your talking about "play the game" is what its called. And that movie is so true every step on that movie including the groucho effect works to perfection if done right. i did it but yet im in the same boat as the person who first made this blog. So what do i do?