Wednesday, May 02, 2007

And meet me tonight in Atlantic CIty

(Disclaimer: For all of you losers desperate males out there, (and that shall pretty much cover up all those who read this blog), and who have been stranded in India all their lives, and have never seen hot women in little more than bare minimum in REAL, please don't read any further. The only thing it will do, apart from providing you with laugh about my own loserness, would be to depress you about your own. This has already happened to two frustu friends, one of whom had even had lots of girls. Indian Despo, you know!!!. Females, I had prefer you not to read this as well, as it contains some pretty graphic pornographic fantasies. And all persons under 18 are totally banned.)
The song is by Bruce Springsteen, which was the only time I had heard of the place, before How I met your mother.
Last weekend we planned a trip to Washington D.C. and Philadelphia. That did not materialise, but what did, was a fun nightout in what is the Vegas of the East Coast, The Atlantic City. And like most things in this foreign land, it was AWESOME, but it could certainly have been better (well I could say if I didn't have F and P with me to spoil the fun, or if I had just that little more money, but having embarrassed myself a lot already on this blog, I have no chasms in accepting that the night would have been so much better if) had I managed to score.
And this time it wasn't for the lack of trying. I dint exactly know what scoring means, but getting close to a female and snogging her and touching her boobs shall probably make me one up on a lot of my friends. It was the best chance I had gotten yet, and this time even my age old, conservative principles were not going to stop me. Except that I ran out of guts, and yeah, lemme face it, I am ugly and way too non-smart to bed these extra hot women that I tried getting through.
The plan was simple: Leave Saturday afternoon for Atlantic City, where we hoped to look at good looking female, earn some money by using the probability fundaas learnt during the Statistics class, and roam on the beach (Its not called Atlantic City for nothing, dumb ass, like I told P when he asked, "Wahaan par sea bhee hai kyaa?" ) And so we went to Atlantic City.
One thing I had no great idea about the place, but had just heard of it as a Vegas compatriot, and so was expecting to see scantily clad babes all around. Having reached rather early to the city after a two hour bus ride, we decided to check out chicks at the beach first, which, except for a family making castles in the sand, was totally empty. Not once to let that deter us, we decided to enjoy the lovely weather on the beach, and hung around for an hour, and then took a walk around the famous Boardwalk, which has all the casinos lined up against it. Then, with night approaching fast, we were ready for enjoying the casino, where when we went in, all we could see were old men and women sitting on the slot machines. No babes, no other machines, we had been totally tricked it seems. The only hope was that I spotted HOOTERS!!!!
Now if you havent heard of Hooters, it is totally your fault. It is the best place ever. Women, or rather very very very hot girls, are dressed in little more than a white vest which says Hooters and orange tights, which culminate almost where they start, leaving you an uniterrupted view of the hottest pairs of legs you will ever see. And these women are there to serve you!!! We decided to come back there, after trying our luck upstairs, where we found out there were Roulettes.
The Roulette is an interesting game, and the one most likely to be appliciable to the principles of Probability, and so we went there. Started off by winning around 5 dollars, then lost 15, before coming back to play from the basics and winning 35 dollars. In between we had Jack Daniel's and pizzas, among other things. And then we went to Hooters.
Our waiteress wasnt really that hot ( I mean she would beat all Indian heroines any day, but am talking about our high standards that day), but the one serving the table next to us was the real deal. She showed a bit more than any of the girls, and she bent a bit more too. And she was a total blonde. And her measurements must have been 36-24-36; it couldnt be anything else. Man it was a treat for the eyes, but it was nothing compared to what was going to happen.
We reluctantly finished our drinks and the accompanying snacks and came out of the sexiest restraunt is the world, and then went out of the casino to take another stroll down the Boardwalk. And then this happened.
Two hot blondes, wearing a very tight top and macrominis, came out of the casino and started smoking. They were evidently very drunk too. And they were absolutely horny, trying to get into one other. I was already turned on, and noting the way that a certain Mr. Jhaw tried to patao the sexiest girl in IIT (she was not an IITian, all you know-alls);I put up a cigarette to my mouth, went up to them and asked, as coolly as I could, "Do you have a light?" She was piss drunk, and fumbled her purse to take out her cigarette. I was trying to make eye contact, but the moment never came and her next comment broke my heart. I just took the lighter and backed off, trying to light the cigarette, when she said, "He is running away with the lighter." It was a big big turnoff and I just gave back the lighter, after lighting ofcourse, and came back to where the F and P were sitting, admiring me for my guts.
And then came the best part of the trip, we followed those females to what can only be described as heaven. It was like all apsaras (there were around 200 of them) had decided to appear together and had gotten rid of their clothes and had come down to the bare minimum, and had too much to drink. And they all were obviously horny, but by the time we had reached there, all of them had guys snogging them. We had missed the ticket yet again.
But for the first time in my life I had seen so many beautiful hot sexy women. It was a treat for the eyes and other parts of the body. We remained there, feeling ultimately frustrated, till the place was empty, and then decided to go back to the beach and get drunk. And this is what we did. In the meantime we also lost all the money we had won and more. And then we got more drunk. And in the morning we came back from Atlantic City.
I have not been ablte to do justice to all my emotions in the post, but if any of those females had told me to do anything, I would have done it. And for all of them. It was that good/
In the past 4 days, since coming from Atlantic City, have finished 1.75 litres of Jack Daniels. Not bad for someone who attends office also, yeh!!!!
Life is good. Am going to California today evening.


tarun said...

suck it up....u bitch!!!

Rachit said...

What the fuck! S'pore sucks man.

anonymous coward said...

yaar mujhe abhi apni tarah winner bana de ... PLZZZZZZZ

Shefali said...

After that kind of a start..I HAD to read this entry! You are clearly having the time of your life.. huh,dude??? Great going... Btw- Do they sell 'good luck' in NY??? ...Go buy some!!

Ankur Shanker said...

After a long time.. a funny post from you! really enjoyed it!hehe!

zubin said...

[Tarun] Please stop abusing on my blog.
[Rachit] I know!! Tabhee to tu wahaan hai aur main yahaan!!!
[Akshat] Sorry, teri to fight hee hai poori!!!
[Shefali] No they dont I guess!! And anyways even if they do, I wont be lucky enough to find it.
[Ankur] Thanks!!

tp said...


Captain Subtext said...

Singapore is a great place! An IIMC alumnus even convinced us that it's better than NY in all respects. Ab koi saara time office mein spend karega to S'pore aur Kolkata mein kya difference rahega!

We are having a blast.

Ankur Shanker said...

oye zubin! need one favor from you.. can you send me ur bro's CV which you had sent me once.. i need it because i have to prepare a new CV and it had the exact format which I want for my CV.. And you no longer have an orkut profile! when did this happen?
Anyways.. please send it ASAP (need it ultra-urgently)..

Ankur Shanker said...

If possible, please try to send it as soon as you read my comment!

zubin said...

(tarun) tu baaz aa jaa
(Arnav) The truth has been revealed by Rachit, thanks!
(Ankur) Three things! One, this is not the platform for people to reach me
Second, I dont have my brother's resume
Third, even if I had, I dont have ur id to send it. Mail me at with ur request.

Ankur Shanker said...

Yes Sir! Three things! One, you are no longer on orkut. Second, you were not online on yahoo messenger. And third, I didnt have ur email id. So, i had to resort to this medium! Anyways, i have sent you an email also!