Monday, September 24, 2012

A theory of rape

(Disclaimer: This post does not mean to trivialize the serious issue of women safety and sexual exploitation. Admittedly, I have done only some research on this matter, and do not personally know (thankfully) any rapist and/or rape victims. As with all my other blog posts, this is just my thoughts on the matter, and if you think it is an anti-woman piece, you can just read the previous blog post, which is to say, I don't ____ _ ____, This is a guy's perspective. I condemn rape in the strongest possible way. This is just an attempt to understand why it happens).

So the other day we were at Striker, the neighbourhood bar/club. Now Striker post 10 p.m. has a nightclub feel about it on most days - there are the usual shitty Justin Bieberesque songs played by the in-house DJ on which girls and ladies (mostly married 35+ aunties, albeit hot aunties, come to think of it), are grinding into each other and into strange young men. It is a pretty disturbing sight to be honest, but somehow exciting too, if you know what I mean. And while I can honestly claim I totally abhor the music the DJ plays, I am somehow there often, as you might have guessed if you are on my Facebook friends list and get annoyed by my posts about semi clad women. I admit I am there only for the beer, but a little (or a lot) of eye candy never hurt anyone. But that day was a Thursday, which meant that an awesome band (Traffic Jam, which if you are in Gurgaon, you must listen to) was playing awesome rock songs, covering everything from Rolling Stones to Tracy Chapman. And which more significantly, meant that there were not many women in there. (I have a theory about the quality of music and the quality and quantity of girls in a place, and the fact that it is an inverse relation. Something to the tune of Quality(Music)* Quality(Girls)* Quantity(Girls) = constant. But that is a theory for another day - and probably another blog post). In fact, and perhaps linked to this fact, was that there were not many people in the place that day. Only 75% of the tables were occupied, which for Striker, is seriously under-crowded. Which made us - a group of five - the only ones head-banging on the music Traffic Jam played. So well there was good beer, good music and we were very decently high. Not really Mount Everest high, but maybe Mount Kilimanjaro high. Almost no hot girls, but we were not disappointed due to the quality of music.

But by 12 p.m.,  the band had ended, while the DJ came into his own elements, and in came three girls, all in the 8.5+ ratings category - or that is what it seemed to us in that woman-devoid place. Moreover, beer is a Aphrodisiac.  However to us at that point of time, they seemed very hot, and surprise, surprise they had no guy along with them. And they were wearing some really awesome clothes, those western summer dresses which somehow magically disappear twelve inches above the knee, exposing some very nice flesh. So because by then the DJ had started his usual shit music, these girls decided to get up and dance, and well - while it shames me to admit it - we were dancing to that music. Mainly because we were high, and in no way to distinguish between good and bad music. Good and bad looking girls, however, we could still distinguish, and so one of us, a pioneer if there was one, decided it was a good idea to go and dance near to these three girls.

Now normally, I am a big believer in knowing what's within your league, and those girls were clearly out of ours. I mean, 8.5+.  However, I also am a believer in my own theory of the drinking-confidence scale (as illustrated here, and I was confident (drunk) enough. Moreover, those girls seemed well Westernised, and I remembered my France days, and how I could talk to women easily there. So well, there I was all ready to talk to them (more like blabber), and I was sure they wouldn't mind. And so I followed the pioneer, with another fellow right behind me,  and stood next to where these girls were dancing.

All it took was one look. One look from those three girls, and I knew they were eyeing us with derision. A look you reserve for complete losers. A look that said - "Look at these losers - come to dance with us. With us. How dare you, you scum of the earth." One look (actually three looks, when you count them) was enough to take us back to our seats, to our one true love - beer. I was just having a complete uv- ajed moment. This had never happened to me before, not in France anyways. There women would at least talk to me. And I never got that look. And these women looked westernised enough, I thought. They must be open enough to have guys try and talk to them in a nightclub. But here their Indian values suddenly seemed to come into the picture. It was pure hypocrisy, I thought. And then they accuse guys of not being modern enough!!

But we were the nice guys and so we came back to the table and faced our one true love - our beer mugs. However, the entire incident just made me wonder on the hypocrisy of Indian girls, and made me imagine how a group of Jats from rural Haryana would have responded to that look, and what I concluded was not exactly pleasant -  and that's how my theory evolved.

Now, it is the opinion in many newspapers that Delhi and adjoining areas is the unofficial, de-facto rape capital of the country. Moreover, there is also a growing voice among the pro-women groups that India as a country is unsafe for women. I think the second statement is definitely wrong, for statistical reasons. Statistically, the number of rapes reported annually in India is second highest at 22000 rapes reported annually (after, surprisingly, the United States - which has 4 times more reported cases), and is far more than other countries. However, on a per capita basis, even more surprisingly, India is the seventeenth safest country with the least rapes/million population. Statistically, India is safer than (among others) USA, UK, Sweden, Hong Kong and my favourite, France.

It can't be right, surely. You would assume that India is such high on the "safe place for women" list mainly because most of the rapes are not reported. However, the funny part is that even if only 10% of the rapes are being reported, India would still be statistically be safer for women than both US and UK, and only slightly unsafe than France. Which puts a whole new spell on things, doesn't it? Let us assume then that statistics lie, and seek answer to the question, "Why so many women get raped in India, more so in Delhi/NCR?"

So, well what exactly is a rapist thinking? Maybe men do it because they can get away with it, maybe it is just pure frustration at not getting regular sex, maybe its just uncontrolled temptation, or maybe it is a factor of respect for women. Not to mention the odd psychopath. In other words the probability of rape will follow the following equation: 

P(rape) = f(frustration)*f(titillation)*f(psychopaths)/(f(woman's respect in society)*f(law abiding))

So well rape will be more in a society with more frustration and titillation, while less in a society with more respect for women and law abiding citizens. In most cases though, frustration and titillation are opposite factors. Society with higher frustration have low titillation levels (like Arab societies), while society with high titillation levels have low frustration levels (Thailand, South America, the list goes on). Rapes then become more a case of psychopaths because in most societies women are respected and are at par with men.

However, what probably sets India apart and makes it more unsafe is that it is probably in India that most rapes are not done by psychopaths and/or people who know the victim. India probably stands out in that rapes are isolated events caused by seemingly normal people to absolute strangers - such as the incidents in the car driven all around Delhi you read about in the news. It is because our law and order is a total failure which abets this to an extent, but our country is unique in the fact that frustration and titillation levels here are both high.

In Haryana, for example, there is not much of a concept of respect for women. Women are the weaker sex, and are expected to cave in to men's demands. This is the attitude that has been passed on for centuries, and certain Bollywood movies, and their item numbers have done nothing to suppress this widely popular notion. This is the mindset which runs through most of Bharat, which has not picked up pace as far as social liberalization is concerned. A woman in Bharat is now thankfully not expected to stay home, but is expected to go out and work. However, if she wears much of western dresses and talks to men, she is still very easily termed a slut. A man still has more rights than a woman in Bharat.

Moreover, our country is not very high on law abiding citizens. We often take advantage of whatever leeway we can get. We don't think much of our laws, and believe we can escape them. The "tu jaanta nahin main kaun hoon" philosophy which is entrenched not just in Bharat, but also in India, makes us perfect candidates for people to take the law into their own hands, and impress women - literally - with their "power".

India, the India we live in, is however much more socially liberalized. Most women living in India - and with it I mean the  think themselves to be born in New York or Paris, or atleast their clothes indicate so. There seems to be a race to determine who can put the most skin on display in Saket City Walk or Hauz Khas Village, for example, and often, it is difficult to determine the winner. Don't get me wrong, they are welcome to wear all they want, and if I personally were to choose, the lesser the better. But it has some very unpleasant consequence. These girls tempt. They titillate.

The problem is that in Delhi/NCR, India and Bharat are very close together. A man from Bharat, who experiences he has infinite power over womankind, but who also knows he cannot touch these upper and high middle class girls who have tempted him so, has somewhere to let his sexual energy go. In a completely lawful/woman respecting society, he will probably go home, shag himself and go to sleep. But India, and Bharat, sadly are not completely lawful. And a Bharat man is, as explained before, not exactly woman respecting. So while he does not have the guts to catch one of these Saket chicks, he gets horny on the first woman he can get away with, irrespective of what she is wearing. And this is what causes so many rapes.

So indirectly, yeah, in Delhi/NCR at least, what women wear does contribute to rape.

In other parts of Bharat, it is movies/item songs that provide the same effect. They tempt and titillate. And some innocent powerless soul is the victim.

Come to think of it, legalizing prostitution might be a good way to stop it. It will lessen frustration for one, and the probability of rape will come down.

(Disclaimer II: I can't write any more, but I guess I have made my point. Looking forward to your comments).


atul kumar singh said...

It was so good to read your blog... Seriously what can I comment on this

Harshpreet Singh said...

good one zub!

Anonymous said...

when did this happen?? where was I?? and it was a tuesday

arts said...

In spite of the intended sleaze, this post is well written....specially the first quarter or so.

Anonymous said...

i like self-respecting people.And i don't think any self respecting girl would want to titillate men by showing flesh.
Honestly,i often wonder what 'good' women feel about when wearing skimpy negligees and moving around.

Anonymous said...

umm,thought provoking post.

i wanna ask you,if a wife cannot wear lacy things only for herself and take pleasure in it?

another question is:do u see them as eye candy only or is their dressing sense a deal breaker?

Anonymous said...

Dwelling on your frustration theory,i think everyone should be married before they're 23.
And we all have raped someone,in theory and in fantasy;p

Anonymous said...

So ur main argument is legalizing whoreship?
I quite like dat!

zubin said...

@Atul Kumar Singh: Thanks mate.
@Sherry: Thanks!!
@TP: No it wasnt a Tuesday. It was the Thursday before the Tuesday you were.
@aarti: Sleaze? What sleaze? :O. It was truth all the way.
@Anon1: I like self - respecting people too, though I don't mind self respecting women titillating anyone. And I totally have that question too.
@Anon2: A wife can, but why wear such clothes to show others - In other countries its easy to get away with it, in India it isnt. As for me, beggars can't be choosers can they. How can anything be deal-breaker for me?
@Anon3: Me, no. Never. In my fantasies, the women were always willing accomplices. And our ancestors got it all right. Brahmacharaya ended at 25 (some say it was 16) followed by a period of lust and sex. Cool times.
@Anon 4: That was the takeaway yeah. Pretty cool yes?

Anonymous said...

Haha,you are bemoaning the lack.
And if they have it,they flaunt it.
We all flaunt what we have n wat the other might

Anonymous said...

Most women who get raped were wearing decent clothes at that time.It has more to do with a man's mentality.
Beauty itself titillates :)

Anonymous said...

Hey,do u have it often enough? Or u frustrated?

jennifer anderson said...

Indian women are so beautiful. just natural beauties...

zubin said...

@Anon1: Haha, I mean yes. But flaunting should be done based on the environment. You wouldn't wander through the streets of Marseilles carrying 50000 Euros in cash and flaunt it, will you?
@Anon2: You did not read my entire blog. I believe the woman who are wearing 'apt' clothes are because the men know they can't do anything with those wearing the 'inapt' clothes.
@Anon3: Ofcourse I am not getting it regularly, else would i be here ranting on this blog.
@Jennifer Anderson: Very true - they are.