Solitude

"Har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadmi
Fir bhee tanhayeeon se ghiraa aadmi"

This was the firstJagjit Singh ghazal I heard, way back when I was in fifth standard. And while I could not comprehend the lyrics then, somehow the words stuck in my memory. And now, on a new threshold of my life, these words impose themselves on me and now I can fully understand them. I have been haunted by this feeling of solitude for days now. I have developed a pretty constant schedule for weekends and days I dont spend at office: I go to Barista and read. And while this is, to a very large account, due to the lack of company to spend time with, I actually like doing this as well. I have just discovered that I am even pretty happy when I am alone with my books, or when I am writing a blog. This has a lot to do with the realisation that even the best of friends are not going be there always, and that a man can only be happy if he seeks his happiness from within. And I am mildly surprised to realise this: I am happy even though the last few days have been devoid of friends, and been forced to long periods of solitude.

I have started writing this after five days, and the reason has been that I have been busy. And not with work, but with people. After the pretty dull life that I had been leading for the past few weeks, seems to have had reversed. Suddenly a lot has been happening. I am partying almost everyday with friends, and three of those days have been totally different company. The last week at Delhi probably promises to be a surprise in itself, and having fallen in love with the city, its probably going to be tough. The past five days have been days of, among other things, Masala Junction, learning people better, confessions and white wine. Its a complete contrast from my days described above. And I am liking this as well. What matters probably is happiness., and I am enjoying a very happy session (touchwood!!)

"Its not getting what you want, its wanting what you got."