Update

For those who didnt know, I had quit blogging for a while.

I am leaving New Delhi tomorrow.

I might or might not start blogging again from IIM Calcutta Campus.

And I really cherished this self-imposed exile from blogosphere, realising there were more important things in life.

As for the rest, please read my previous post.

Thanks.

Realisation

Some things are better left unsaid.

Solitude

"Har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadmi
Fir bhee tanhayeeon se ghiraa aadmi"

This was the firstJagjit Singh ghazal I heard, way back when I was in fifth standard. And while I could not comprehend the lyrics then, somehow the words stuck in my memory. And now, on a new threshold of my life, these words impose themselves on me and now I can fully understand them. I have been haunted by this feeling of solitude for days now. I have developed a pretty constant schedule for weekends and days I dont spend at office: I go to Barista and read. And while this is, to a very large account, due to the lack of company to spend time with, I actually like doing this as well. I have just discovered that I am even pretty happy when I am alone with my books, or when I am writing a blog. This has a lot to do with the realisation that even the best of friends are not going be there always, and that a man can only be happy if he seeks his happiness from within. And I am mildly surprised to realise this: I am happy even though the last few days have been devoid of friends, and been forced to long periods of solitude.

I have started writing this after five days, and the reason has been that I have been busy. And not with work, but with people. After the pretty dull life that I had been leading for the past few weeks, seems to have had reversed. Suddenly a lot has been happening. I am partying almost everyday with friends, and three of those days have been totally different company. The last week at Delhi probably promises to be a surprise in itself, and having fallen in love with the city, its probably going to be tough. The past five days have been days of, among other things, Masala Junction, learning people better, confessions and white wine. Its a complete contrast from my days described above. And I am liking this as well. What matters probably is happiness., and I am enjoying a very happy session (touchwood!!)

"Its not getting what you want, its wanting what you got."

This game called love

I just finished reading Love in the Time Of Cholera. It is a wonderful read, and quite unlike other Marquez' novels. For one, the novel does not have those elements of fantasy that I thought were hallmarks of all Marquez' novels. And two, it is a novel of immense hope. I think I particularly connected with it because of this phase of my life I am going through. It is one of those books that mirror your thoughts about a particular subject so closely. And your heart resurfaces with hope, which was lying submerged somewhere. The book also reveals the different forms of love between a man and a woman. One more, and possibly the most important, learning from the book is that love is not blind; rather it sees all the faults, and does not seem to mind. This book has turned a pessimist like me into a complete optimist. And I am liking this rare feeling of happiness even though a lot is not going my way.
The past week I also read this sentimental story about a guy who loves his best friend, but is afraid to say so, because he is afraid to end the wonderful friendship they have. As it turns out, he is never able to say the magical three words, and after she dies young because of leukemia, he comes to know that she had the same feelings for him. Just that both were unable to blurt it aloud to one other, and the love that they had found in one other could never express itself.
Love is a funny thing. It can make you conquer the world, and it can make you lose everything you ever had. Love makes you suffer, and it makes you happy. Love hurts and love heals. It is by no means easy. There are plenty of sacrifices to make, and possibly, a loss of your ego, your freedom. And even then there is no surety of you finding your love. It is a tough game, where even your best efforts might not be enough to succeed. The only way then, is to keep up the hope, and believe in it. If your love is strong enough though, it will succeed. Now or later. You might have to wait, but the wait will be worth it, or so have I realised from other people's examples. I am feeling happy right now, and the happiness is not because I have love all around me, but rather because I am sure I will have it one day. Not that there is any indicator to the effect, quite the opposite, but I am sure that if my love is strong enough (and I am sure it is), it will succeed one day.
On a separate note, the happiness I have is also based on the realisation that life has been kind to me. I know all of us have a tendency to be sad about things we dont have, but if we make a things of what we have, it shall far outnumber what we dont. For one, I have such wonderful parents, brother and friends. They love me and want me to succeed, and as such I dont know anyone who wants me to end up as a failure. I know that I can go to any of them and ask for help, and that they wont turn me away. Also, I think I have been extremely lucky to have a pretty sharp brain, and a healthy body. Even though I am not very rich, I am thankful that I never have to struggle to make both ends meet. And I also feel I am lucky that life throws me lifelines whenever I am down. Plenty of blessings to count then, but somehow we always tend to concentrate more on a missed grade, or a failed crush.
Love can make you do things you thought you could never do. Like quit drinking. And make you believe in miracles. Everything is possible in this world, to achieve which, like the popular Beatles say, All you need is love.

My Experiment with Politics-3

Year 3 : Feb 2004: The battle for the biggest post in the hostel, the House Secretary, was more a game of Chess than anything else. And it was a funny game, with not two opponents, but multiple ones. It was a fight based on ideologies, personal egos and worst of all, plain opportunitism. This was also the year when Kara conducted Rendezvous, and inspite of all the hype surrounding it after Tryst, couldnt live up to the expectations.
The stage had been set way before, with the Maintenance Secretary deciding to divide the working clas of the batch into two parts: the C wing and the D wing. The others, which also included some working junta, were pushed into double rooms. The C wing (also known as the Power wing) included 11 people, who were strong members of the Elite Group. They were also supposed to include two more people, both the two 'losing' candidates for Sports Secretary, who however decided to join the D wing. After a bit of adjustment then, the batch was roughly divided, demographically now, into three : the C wing, the D wing and the double room residents. This was also the time when the 'Loser' Group was formed. A group of six people, five of them from D wing, and one from a double room. We all had something to cry about (the system, politics, love etc), and hence we all deemed ourselves as "Losers'. But more of it later.
The Power wing included the Maintenance Secretary and the Mess Secretary. And both of them were deemed to be excellent candidates for the post of the House Secretary, because they had done plenty of work during the past year, leading Karakoram to the second spot in BHM. And they had plenty of other decent candidates as well, who could have won on any given day. There were plenty of working people in the D wing as well, actually more of them, but they didnot have any ambition of a post, and they were also afraid of the responsibility of leading the hostel next year. Moreover, the "political" people from D wing were more interested in external posts which were promised to them (Me included).
The actual Politics in the third year started off with the representatives from C wing coming up to me and proposing to me, the name of a candidate to whom I could hardly agree to. They talked about setting a tradition of making unanimous House Secretaries, something that had been their aim last year as well. Not because he wasnt decent, but because I had always sensed in him a negligence towards his responsibilities. Now, this person (lets call him Candidate A), was easily the best dancer/actor in our year, and had also served as the D&D representative, where his performance was far from satisfactory. And he had not done much of note during the past year as well. Moreover, A was a person who evoked extreme reactions from people. According to me, he had a habit of taking up a project with much enthusiasm and then leaving it midway. But at that time, there was no other candidate, and I desperately started looking for someone, for I personally didnt feel he fitted the bill.
Actually, I had been looking earlier too for one. A consensus candidate, I reasoned, would be a non-political figure who had worked for the hostel, and could handle the responsibility well. Along with Mr. D, who was one of the 'losing' Sports Secretary candidates (ironically, he was the "Elite Group's" choice then, but over the past year, we had grown quite close, not the least because of being losers; and we were very good friends), we singled out Mr. P, who had a political acumen, and was on good terms with almost everyone in the batch. Moreover, he had proved his credentials as a representative, with some pretty good results. He was excited and ready to take up the challenge, as well, and as such was probably the best House Secretary, consensus or not. And so we (me and D) decided on projecting him as a unanimous candidate.
But things just got more complicated, when S, who was another 'loser', and the winning Maintenance Secretary (who had however not been able to hold the post), decided to approach me as a friend, and ask my support for his bid to the post. Now this was something I had not been expecting, because he had refused me when I had earlier asked him about his political ambitions. But he had been loaded wit pressure and support from a few friends, who wanted him to stand just to teach a lesson to the Elite Group for last year. And so he was counting on my support, being one of his best friends. However, I had already committed myself to the ideas of making a consensus candidate in P, and so I could not promise anything to him, which sort of spoilt our relations a bit for a small time.
To pursue our dream of a consensus candidate further, I and D arranged a meeting of the prospective candidates (A and S) in a bid to pursue our own agenda of pushing P's name as a consensus. The result was anything but postive. S, sensing himself alone and without support, walked out of the meeting, to return back with his trusted ally, Mr. K (who, because of his image as a nogooder, was disliked by everyone else in the room). The Mess Secretary (henceforth called B, who was also the chief campaigner for A) went on a monologue to prove A's deservibility for the post, and to downplay any other prospective candidates. The meeting ended with both the candidates' groups refusing any concessions for batch unity and deciding to fight it out. And hence P dropped out from the list.
Now that no consensus had been reached, it was a pretty easy decision for me to make. I had supported S vehemently during the Maintenance Secretary Elections, and so was sure which side my emotions ruled. And I was prudent enough to tell this on the face to A and B, so that there was no personal hostility. And we started getting more people in our year working for S. D was supposed to be closer to S than to A, but he decided to opt for a neutral stance. We had to look for support elsewhere, and were expecting the non-working junta to support us, just because we were "closer" to them than the Elite Group. And then another thunderbolt struck.
The Sports Secretary, who had done nothing of note the entire year, decided to contest the elections as well. That, for me, was the end of any hopes that S had of winning the elections. The support that we were expecting from the Non-Working juntaa had been swept away in one big blow. And the worse thing for S was, that the Working Group, was also not entirely in his favour. The support base for S (that had made him win 34-17 last year) dwindled because of the following reasons :
a) People of the Working Group saw him as being too ambitious.
b) The presence of K as his "running mate" despised them no end. The working group feared, that if S was elected, K would hold the reins, a theory which I tried hard to dissuade.
c) The non-working group were now definitely supporting the Sports Secretary.
The support for S in our year then, was at a low. However, things could only get better from here. The first small success that came was that D was finally convinced to openly support S. The other good thing that we achieved was to persuade the Cultural Secretary, who had a bias towards A, not to openly support any of the candidate.
The task at hand, though was still a pretty formidable one. We needed to convince the freshers, all of them cheering for A (because, "he looks more like a House Secretary than S does."). We also needed to get the support of the M.Techs, without which the battle could not have been won. And so we decided stratergies day in and day out. We were also keeping an eye on the external elections, as our fortunes were also at stake. We got a big boost when R, a batchmate, and one who had access to around 35 votes decided to support us. And so finally the game was on. We were really working hard to get our message of having "worked for the hostel, having a good team and having external candidates in our side. " We were also banking on the fact that in a three way contest, we were sure to garner most of the Sports Secretary's and A's second choice votes (just because S was the only other acceptable candidate for the other). But the fact that the freshers were still split between A and the Sports Secretary, with only a handful even thinking about working for S, made things very difficult for us. And then another miracle happened. But before that there was also a drama.
The drama was this : P had always wanted to avoid elections, fearing it would split the batch permanently, and was even worried about the division of votes among S and A would help the Sports Secretary to the post, a scenario which most of the working group wanted to avoid. And se he proposed another consensus : that of making D, whose external aspirations had been almost crush being the consensus candidate of A and S groups, to take on the Sports Secretary. And he came to me with the proposal, to which I agreed wholeheartedly. For two reasons : the more obvious one being that it would almost assure D's victory, but the more clever one was that it helped me make P feel that S listened to me and D, and not K. I asked P to propogate the idea in the C wing, and to take it from me that once A and B agreed, D would be the agreed choice, because I had said yes on S behalf. And I did not even talk to S about it. Because I knew fully well that A and B would never agree, and while that proved them to be power hungry, I could win some symphaty back for S. And P tried for four hours to make A and B see reason, to no avail. P felt humiliated, and came back, a defeated man. And I told P that S had agreed, because he wasnt power hungry et al,and because I was more influental than K over him, but because the C wing hadnt relented let it be a full fledged fight. And so it was.
"The miracle" was not as much a miracle, actually, than a masterpiece played by yours truly in this game. It was probably the defining moment of those elections, when we managed to rope in loser M into our campaign barely three days before the D-day. Now M was another member of the loser group, but had promised to remain neutral during the entire campaign. He had been largely maligned during last year's anti-campaigning allegations, and as such had decided to stay away from all politics this year. He had instead, concentrated on making strong relations with the juniors, and through his selfless work and fundaes, was the inspiration for almopst all freshers. And when he came into the action, the entire freshers swung. Almost the entire batch, on a single day, decided to shift towards S. And that made things so much easier.
Then there were also news that two postgraduate candidates were also standing for the post, a news that was greeted with relief from our side. Becuase we had our consolidated 35-postgraduate vote bank, which wasnt going anywhere, any postgraduate candidate would only cut into A and the Sports Secy's vote bank. And that made us the favourites, up from the Losers tag we had barely three days ago.
A day before the D-day another proposal was mooted, and this came from the outgoing House Secretary : of a surprise voting among the B.Techs to decide one candidate who goes on to meet the two postgraduate in the final round. So as to counter the 'threat' of a postgraduate as a house Secy. The proposal was rejected by us, because we were very sure of our chances, and had calculated the numbers perfectly, and were sure of winning. There were other reasons as well, but its imprudent to write all of them here.
By this time, our hostel, which had won handsomely the past two times, was sitting on the losing side externally, because of desertions. I was supposed to be the BSP candidate for the alliance, and it hung in balance. But we were almost losing everything else.
By the time the D-day came, a lot of things that were not going in our favour changed. S was seen positively by the working group people, and some of them actually voted for him in the end, being tired of A and B's power hungry attitude. In the end, by the time of the first counting, S was in a huge 40 vote leads, and had got the requisite 50% votes by the third recount. The race for the second spot was much closer, with the Sports Secretary beating one Postgraduate candidate (the other one got only thre votes) and A by a couple of votes, in that order. A, who was the favourite, finished fourth. It was an unexpected victory, and time for a celebration.And K was on top of the world, as was S. But there were more important things to be done, I reminded S: The external elections.
Karakoram was losing this time around, and we searched for ways to make some hostel jump over to our alliance. It never happened. We were destined to lose, keeping the tags of loser alive. The only good thing about being in a losing alliance is that an hostel can have more external candidates to boot of. And so me (BSP), S (BHM) and D (BSW) all filed the nominations. S was a dummy, I was supposed to contest, and I might have had even won, but on the last moment, my English Chief Editor from Nilgiri was made the candidate, probably a consequence of some anti-alliance voting by Karakoram. And he lost by two votes. D lost in BSW as well. Our last hope remained SAC, which had S's ex-roomie (a core A supporter ironically) pitted against a Jwala candidate. It was close, but again we lost. We had just a Chief Editor of English to show up that year.
And then came our first lesson in external politics: The AIC elections. We decided to put up a candidate for the post, a reluctant candidate albeit, who was the other losing candidate for the Sports Secy (working Group's candidate). Me, S and S's ex roomie (Mr. AD!!) tried the entire day for some miracle to happen, and there were a few signs that one might, but there was none. He lost, but we had our first experience of External Politics, and we had sure liked it.
Now all I was looking forward to was next year, and to lead Karakoram to victory in style. That was the aim, and I was hoping that S would opt me over K. And that hope dimmed the moment K was nicknamed "Advaniji" by people around. But there was plenty to look forward to next year.

My Experiment with Politics-2

Year 2: March 2003 The time coincided with the general feeling of feel-good within the hostel, which had just conducted the biggest technical festival of North India of all time, Tryst 2003. As it turned out, it was just the calm before the storm, something which was to blow up the entire year apart. And, worst of all, I, unwittingly, was at the start, end and centre of it. There had been a controversy during Tryst which had tended to split the working junta of the hostel into two. The controversy was resolved, but it left almost permanent fissures within our batch.
The second year politics started off with the Elite Group (again almost the same set of people) deciding that the time had come to get up their act again. And this time they made their decision in a closed room, promising to give the posts to the most "deserving" persons. And then they came to me with the list. Now, well, I was a pretty important figure in my year, because I was on pretty good terms with everyone in my batch, and so my opinion did matter. But some of the decisions made by the group seemed controversial, and as always, I believed that the decision lay on the entire batch, rather than a group of people, even if it included myself. And I also believed, quite convincingly, that I would make the best Cultural Secretary, but the Group had chosen someone else, who was undoubtedly the most talented and the best representative we had, but who was reluctant to take up the responsibility. And that became the first step of the controversy between two groups, the Elite one and the group which had also worked for the hostel, but had not really wanted anything much, but were there just to voice their frustration at the scheme of things (except for me probably :D) (I will call it the working group). And on our side was the person who had been the Elite Group's candidate for Cultural Secretary And the fight later spilled onto other posts as well, pitting three people in direct fight in Sports Secretary, and two in Maintainance Secretary. The only post that remained uncontested was the post of the Mess Secretary, but that was because the only candidate had maneovered his way pretty well. He was the main proponent of the Elite Group, and while he is a good friend today, those days were not the best in terms of our friendship. In a consensus building exercise, the guy tipped to be the Cultural Secretary gradually agreed, and I (and a lot of other pretenders to the post) backed out.
The biggest fallout of this all was in Sports, where the three nominees represented the three groups that had informally built up in the hostel : the Elite, the Working, and the non-working. And a meeting among the three candidates themselves , they agreed on the third candidate. It was one of the decisions that was to haunt us for the next whole year. The other two candidates were much much worhtier in every respect, and while one of them (Elite Group's candidate, who after this was to become one of my very best friends) went on to become the BSA Gsecy as well, it also marked the end of a brilliant sporting career for the second (who was, and is, one of my best friends, and was the Working group's candidate), who went on, however, to make an invaluable contribution to the Karakoram BRCA team the rest three years.
The Maintaince Secy post, however, was by far the most controversial, where the two candidates were also very good friends :the Elite Group's one, who was banking on his "deserving" prowess, pitted against one of the most likeable guys in the batch then. He had a full supporter in me, because I believed him to be able to completely fulfil all his responsibilities.
Inspite of all the talk of consensus, things finally came to a standstill, and finally a batch vote was agreed on. And there I came into the picture, arbitarily one day deciding that the time was right for one, and inviting people to my room to come and vote. The people voted, and by the end the result was shocking : 34-17 to the working group's candidate. It was a verdict noone, including me, had predicted, and it led to vast allegations of anti-campaigning by the Elite Group. The batch was on a verge of a virtual split, when something else happened.
The candidate I had supported was asked by seniors whether he wanted to become an External Secretary. It was on the condition that he would resign from the Maintenance Secretary's post. He agreed, and the Maintenance Secy's post went to the losing candidate from the Elite Group. The worse thing, however, was that the winner was not even given an external post, because of some external changes at the last minute. It created divisions in the batch, and the initial 34-17 was divided into 3 groups: of roughly 17 each again: those voting the Elite Group, those voting the Working group, and agreeing that the new Maintenance Secretary was good enough (this included me, and almost the entire set of people who mattered), and those who were totally against the new Maintenance Secretary. It was a fight that was to continue next year as well. But for now, the first two parties had sort of made peace, and that was all that mattered.
In the external elections, it was the year that Kara got the BRCA GSecy. So it was a matter of great pride. And in a little detail, the only other external post that Kara got was the Hindi Chief Editor, which fell to yours truly. And I only knew about it while I was going inside SAC for voting. I was the BSP English rep, and so I even gave my speech in more English than Hindi. I was a complete misfit for the post, but being the only candidate, I was kind of accepted for the post. It was maybe a cookie for the Working Group, who had given their all, but had not gotten any bigger post internally (except maybe Cultural Secretary). And maybe it was also to assuage all those supporters of the winning Maintenace Secy, who could not become the external Secretary, he was promised.
Anyways, Politics had treated me pretty well again, and I was looking forward to the next year, when the ultimate prize: The House Secretary was to be decided.

The Green Eyed Monster

I never thought this would happen to me
And this was not how things were meant to be
I was so green with jealousy
to see you with him, so happy

I should be happy for you, a voice inside me says
But then I remember all those long-forgotten days
When we were together,albeit for a brief time
And another voice tells me You should be mine.

I am sorry for feeling this way
But the green eyed monster refuses to fade away
I have become obsessive about you
believing we could make a fabulous two

I think you are made only for me
and so I get so angry, as to why cant you see
That I will keep you happy as well,
And I can even hear the ringing wedding bells.

The world would then be a much better place to live in
And whatever we might have to face, we would win
My only hope is that you will soon realize it too
That there is only one truth : I love you.

My Experiments with Politics-I

First things first : I have made it to IIMC, and am looking forward to the next two years. And I guess it shall also spell the end of a long relationship with IIT Delhi. But thats later; for now, another Political Season at IITD ends. A season of hopes, disappointments, enlightenment and disillusionments. Observing the entire scene from the outside is even more fun, than being a part of the whole exercise. One of the lowest (or highest!!!) points of my stay in IITD came when I was nominated for the "Poltu of the Batch" award. I did lose (thankfully) but I guess the time is right to set the record straight. This is my interpretation of the things that happened. Might or might not be true. And please don't get sentimental about it, even though I would not mind some mud-slinging (It ensures more visitors:)). And don't complain about me whining. I am just telling you about how very "naive" I was.
Year 1: March 2002: My interaction with Politics for the first time came when a meeting of the entire year was convened by the "Elite" group of our batch. (This was a group of people, who while dedicated wholeheartedly to the hostel, also felt that the hostel was their keep). The meeting was convened for making plans for getting trophies for the hostel, but the hidden agenda was also to achieve a consensus on the reps, wherein the Elite Group hoped to use its superior persuasion powers to get the more debatable posts. I was also one of the speakers in the meeting, with my one focus on becoming the EDLC rep, because I truly felt I deserved it. (I was not a part of the group though, but they probably thought they could not ignore my contribution over the past year). There were four of us who had worked hard in the EDLC/QC clubs, and just three posts. Three of us were in one wing, so we decided to split the spoils between us. The fourth member, who since then has become a very key friend, did not interact much with the batch as such, and so we were able to convince him somehow. So I became the EDLC rep. There was fight over the FAC and FSC clubs, where the Elite group members were harking on posts, but we still came to some sort of consensus. I was satisfied by the outcome of the meeting. We had made various committees to work on various clubs, and I had achieved what I thought I "deserved. But our fourth year seniors had something else in mind, and an entire batch elections were called hurriedly one night. Elections were held for almost every post among people who had worked for a particular club, and I ended up "losing" the EDLC repship. The fourth member became the new EDLC rep, while I felt cheated, after having had a good rapport with everyone in the batch, having been elected as the BSP English Rep. I thought it to be the end of the world (Caution : It was not, and nothing ever is). There were two candidates standing for the post of the House Secretary, one clearly preferred by the Outgoing seats of power over the other. So we knew where to vote, and he became the new House Secretary in one of the most one sided elections in history.
I had no idea about what happens in the external elections and on the day of the external elections, was told that I was going to be nominated for the BSP English Editor. I felt happy (finally something!!) but just before going inside to vote, I was told (by the powers that are) that I was supposed to vote for someone else, and that they were sorry ("Its not a big post, you know." and all such justifications). I went inside, did my duty for the hostel, but somehow, the information was not dissipated among all the newly elected representatives, and while not voting for myself, I found myself elected. Big cheers!! I thought that I had committed some horrible crime, but then, it was no big deal. The scene at SAC was as it is every year: lots of people, most of them with no idea about things. And I was one of them, when came the news that Kara had won the SAC elections, but had lost the BSA GSecy election by one vote. But we made it up by winning the AIC elections within a month, and normalcy was restored. It was a scene of intense celebrations. Politics was treating me pretty well, but the only crutch came when I was NOT given the "Most Enthusiastic Fresher" Award. I thought I deserved it heads and shoulders above everyone else, but obviously, the powers to decide were not thinking the same way. Not that I havent gotten over it yet, but at that point of time it was pretty bad. And then we proceeded to the second year.

An article written a year ago

(This is an article I wrote for the Campus magazine a year ago. Just felt like posting it here. )

As I write down this article, I realise that it is the 78th last day of my undergraduate study in IIT Delhi. It has been almost four years, since I, along with 500-odd others, realised my long-cherished dream of studying at IIT. The past four years have been a beautiful learning experience, and I don’t mean academics when I say learning. These four years have taught me, and I believe many of my batch mates, a lot about life itself.
The most important thing that IIT Delhi has taught me is that whatever you do in life is independent of what your GPA is at IIT. I have seen five point someones with no hands-on experience of software, go and work in Software Engineering. I have seen nine pointers going to IIMA and start off on a totally new career field. And there have also been cases where six pointers have managed to do PhD or MS in their respective departments. However, this does not mean that GPA is not important. Its importance cannot be over-emphasised. All I am saying is that a bad GPA is not the end of the world, and a good GPA does not necessarily entail a good technological career.
And what is GPA anyways? Does it anyhow show the true worth of a person as an engineer? I would reckon no. Even though my GPA gives a very fair idea about how much (rather, how little) I know about engineering, a sad trend is that a great number of people with GPA greater than 7 don’t know much more than I do. A lot of my ‘seven pointers and above’ friends feel that their stay in IIT Delhi has been a waste of their four years as well as the taxpayer’s money. This is a disturbing observation. If the best people in the best institute of the country don’t know much about engineering, then who does?
The biggest problem with academics at IIT Delhi is that people who come here through JEE want to leave the intense study hours behind them, and want to enjoy life to the fullest. They feel that their future is secured and that they can now do all that they had missed in their preparation for JEE. Hence studies take a backseat and this leads to the concept of fraud, whereby IITians become experts in eking out the maximum output from minimum input. Only a very low percentage of the students are actually interested in engineering. And not all of them are nine pointers. There are some who are very interested in only a particular field of their study, and get A’s in these courses, but do badly in the rest. They don’t have particularly good GPA’s but their GPA is not a true indicator of either their interest or their technological skills.
The other important issue is that of the people in here (B.Tech at least) studying only for their grades. This is again a very serious observation which leads to people not exactly “understanding” what they are doing, and just cramming up and pouring out on the examination day. There have been nine pointers who have had virtually forgotten everything they have written down on paper after coming back from major. These people have mastered the act of studying for maximum gains. The system encourages them, what with the grading system here not taking into account the actual performances of students in the classrooms. The most common line in our resume reads “The stay at IIT Delhi has helped improve my analytical skills.” I believe there cannot be a bigger lie. My analytical skills have actually come down since the day I came to IIT Delhi. It might be due to my own shortcomings, but when this is the case with the majority, I believe the system might be at fault.
There are people who do nothing else but study all day, and they have low GPA’s. They are very interested in the technical field, but somehow they don’t manage to show it in the grade sheet. BTP is an ideal case in point. The grade in your BTP does not depend on the amount of work you can do, but the amount of work you can show.
Just as they say, “Money attracts money” I would like to add, “GPA attracts GPA”. A good GPA betters your chances of getting a good grade. That is why it is easier to stay at the top than to get there.
However, a good GPA is a must for many reasons. One, it helps to get you short listed for companies during your job hunt. And more importantly, it prevents you from getting sleepless nights trying to find the answer to “Why do you have such a low GPA?” which they ask you if somehow you have been short listed.
My contention is that the system should be revised so as to ensure that only people who actually deserve to be at the pinnacle in this technology institute get there. The grading system should be modified and there should be regular counselling available for different levels of students, especially for the five pointers. The importance of a good GPA should be made clear to all incoming students and there should be regular performance quizzes for continuous evaluation. Maybe then IIT Delhi can actually become a great centre for technical learning, as was envisaged by its founders. But till then, GPA shall remain more a case of fraud than genuine interest and hardwork.

The Best Of times, the worst of times

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times " wrote Charles Dickens in his The Tale of Two Cities, referring to the French Revolution. It could also refer to the past week and a half, where I have moved from highs to lows pretty alarmingly. It has been pretty hectic, at times funny, and at others, frustrating.
Last weekend saw a friend dropping by from Bangalore, and it was great to have the original "losers" back doing what they did best: Nightouting at Nescafe. It was fun-filled, and all the gaps caused by the separation after passing out from IITD, seemed to have been filled, albeit temporarily. For those particular eight hours, though, nothing else seemed to matter, except for the fact that the six of us were together after a long long time, and probably for the last time as well. So it is perhaps fitting that the last memory remains such a happy one.
Sunday I saw "Being Cyrus", which has to be one of the darkest movies in Bollywood in recent times. The direction is brilliant, and while the movie is fast, it also manages to raise certain questions about existentialism. What is good and what is bad? Is the guy narrating the story necessarily the "good" guy? The movie is not an attempt at widespread cinema, despite an impressive starcast, but it would have been great to have Naseeruddin Shah, who is, arguably, the finest "actor" in India today, take more screen space. The hiterhto unheralded Manoj Pahwa, who plays the patriach of the Parsi family, has come up with a great performance, as has the talented Boman Irani. Its great to see Saif Ali Khan groom as an actor. The leading ladies, Dimple Kapadia and Simone Singh, have also played their part pretty well. A must watch, if you dont mind thinking while watching a movie.
The following week at office was probably the worst time at work in my ten months. This was the week before 31st March, which meant I had to submit loads of bills to save chunks of tax. And then there were different projects, one of which even made me spend One Night at a Call Centre. Well, not exactly one night, but six hours, and it was an unforgettable experience. And no, I dont mean that in a positive sense. It was cramping, and pretty bad. This, coupled with my desire to stop working (and start writing full time) built in plenty of frustration, which heightened on Friday Night. I felt friendless. I wanted to run away, to break free from the world. I felt like disappearing, closing my Orkut and Yahoo accounts and deleting this blog. Somehow, I hung on, and I am glad I did.
The next day was April Fools Day, and while there was noone to play tricks on, I invented small tricks people could play. "How about telling a girl you love her on that day?" was a question I asked almost everyone I met. It was foolish, but when sometimes you feel so terribly alone, its all you can think of. Like they say, an empty mind is the home of the devil. The day felt so bad. Then came the night, and then there was light.
An impromptu plan of going to Rishikesh and rafting was made. There were six of us, and we hired a cab, and were out on the road at 1230 a.m. Sunday morning. We reached Rishikesh by 7, and after freshning up at a hotel and a quick breakfast, were out on the raft by 10 in the morning. It was great rafting down the Ganga, through rapids named Three Blind Mice and Golf Course. Seemed like a scene from movies. It was thrilling, and adventurous. I almost sometimes missed paddling while in the rapids because of the strong current, but the others, and the coach, more than made up for me. It was awesome, and adventurous. And tiring. We covered the entire journey from Delhi to Delhi in little under 22 hours. It was an altogether new experience, and it came at just about the right time.
Just when I was again planning to give up on life, had life thrown me a lifeline. Yet again. And this time I plan to use it to the fullest. I am going to try extra hard to remain happy, for whatever reason. I just realised I have more than enough reasons to be happy, and my friends and family is not the least among them.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. The trick of living life remains in prolonging the best and shortening the worst. That is the only way to live. It is all in the mind. You will be happy if you want to remain happy. There is just one key to feel happy. Let me say, when I am feeling low, just say "Let there be light." And then, let there be light.